Talk:Cyclone Raja/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Hurricane Noah (talk · contribs) 22:33, 22 February 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Will do after I complete my additions to Rosa's article. Noah^Talk 22:33, 22 February 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

"before it interacted with what was to become Severe Tropical Cyclone Sally" Change to 'would' Noah^Talk 18:55, 24 February 2019 (UTC)[reply]
- Changed.Jason Rees (talk) 23:28, 24 February 2019 (UTC)[reply]
"Over the next few days, Raja gradually weakened as it moved over cooler waters to the south of Fiji, before it was last noted during January 5, after it had filled up over the North Tasman Sea." Probably should be split into 2 sentences. Noah^Talk
- Ive removed the words over cooler waters and i think that avoids the need to split into 2 sentences.Jason Rees (talk) 23:28, 24 February 2019 (UTC)[reply]
"Over the next couple of days, Raja passed within 55 km (35 mi) of Futuna during December 25," I missed this the first time through. I would cut either the beginning of the sentence or the "during December 25" part. Noah^Talk 16:06, 25 February 2019 (UTC)[reply]
- Done.Jason Rees (talk) 17:17, 25 February 2019 (UTC)[reply]

MH

You should add "(NWOC)" after "Naval Western Oceanography Center" Noah^Talk 19:02, 24 February 2019 (UTC)[reply]
- Done.Jason Rees (talk) 23:28, 24 February 2019 (UTC)[reply]
"which meant that there was considerable uncertainty in where the system was" Would change to 'the location of the system's center' Noah^Talk 19:02, 24 February 2019 (UTC)[reply]
- Done.Jason Rees (talk) 23:28, 24 February 2019 (UTC)[reply]
"started to interact with what was to become Severe Tropical Cyclone Sally." Same thing here... should be would Noah^Talk
- Done.Jason Rees (talk) 23:28, 24 February 2019 (UTC)[reply]
"Over the next couple of days, Raja came to within 1,110 km (690 mi) of Sally" remove the word 'to' Noah^Talk
- Done.Jason Rees (talk) 23:28, 24 February 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Effects

"As a result of the impact caused by the system the name Raja was retired from the South Pacific naming lists, because of the systems negative impacts in Fiji and parts of Polynesia" Sentence mentions the impacts twice. Noah^Talk 21:05, 24 February 2019 (UTC)[reply]
- Reworked.Jason Rees (talk) 23:28, 24 February 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Wallis and Futuna

"Plans were subsequently made to transport some of this aid on the cargo ship Mona-III" Should italicize the name of the ship. Noah^Talk 22:23, 24 February 2019 (UTC)[reply]
- Done.Jason Rees (talk) 23:28, 24 February 2019 (UTC)[reply]
"the French Navy ship the "Jacques-Cartier"" Ship name should be italicized. Noah^Talk 22:23, 24 February 2019 (UTC)[reply]
- Done.Jason Rees (talk) 23:28, 24 February 2019 (UTC)[reply]
"announced that FF55 million, (US$8 million), of aid, would" Commas should be removed. Noah^Talk 22:23, 24 February 2019 (UTC)[reply]
- Done.Jason Rees (talk) 23:28, 24 February 2019 (UTC)[reply]
", the day after the minster had visited." I would recommend changing this to ", one day after the minister's visit." Noah^Talk 22:23, 24 February 2019 (UTC)[reply]
- Done.Jason Rees (talk) 23:28, 24 February 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Fiji

"where it was responsible for $16 million (1987 FJD, $14 million 1987 USD)" The FJD part shouldn't be in the parentheses with the USD. Noah^Talk 22:06, 24 February 2019 (UTC)[reply]
- Done.Jason Rees (talk) 23:28, 24 February 2019 (UTC)[reply]
"The warnings were subsequently gradually cancelled by the FMS during December 25 & 26, as the system moved eastwards towards the Tongan island of Niuafo'ou." Firstly, I would avoid using subsequently here since you have gradually. Also, ampersands should not be used to replace the word and in text. Finally, I would recommend removing the comma after 26, add a comma after eastward, and changing eastwards to eastward. Noah^Talk 22:06, 24 February 2019 (UTC)[reply]
- I have removed the subsquently, added a comma after eastwards and changed the ambersands, I am not going to remove the comma after the 26th since it is a date while ifeel eastwards works better.Jason Rees (talk) 23:28, 24 February 2019 (UTC)[reply]
"Committee was also mobilised during that day, to deal with the emergency" I would remove that comma. Noah^Talk 22:06, 24 February 2019 (UTC)[reply]
- Done.Jason Rees (talk) 23:28, 24 February 2019 (UTC)[reply]
"Damages to houses was reportedly less severe than in previous tropical cyclones" Should either be changed to damages were or damage was. Noah^Talk 22:06, 24 February 2019 (UTC)[reply]
- Changed to were.Jason Rees (talk) 23:28, 24 February 2019 (UTC)[reply]
"assess the damage during January 1 & 2." replace the ampersand with "and". Noah^Talk 22:06, 24 February 2019 (UTC)[reply]
- Done.Jason Rees (talk) 23:28, 24 February 2019 (UTC)[reply]
"ship was identified as the Romada" Ship name should be italicized. Noah^Talk 22:06, 24 February 2019 (UTC)[reply]
- Done.Jason Rees (talk) 23:28, 24 February 2019 (UTC)[reply]
Money format should be the same throughout the article. Either US$ X amount or $X amount USD. Noah^Talk 22:06, 24 February 2019 (UTC)[reply]
- Sorted.Jason Rees (talk) 23:28, 24 February 2019 (UTC)[reply]