Talk:Friedrich Freiherr von Hotze/GA1
GA Review
[edit]Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch
Reviewer: Ealdgyth - Talk 16:58, 14 December 2009 (UTC)
I'll be reviewing this article shortly. Ealdgyth - Talk 16:58, 14 December 2009 (UTC)
- It is reasonably well written.
- a (prose):
b (MoS):
- Lead has information not in the body of the article
- a (prose):
- It is factually accurate and verifiable.
- a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
- a (references):
- It is broad in its coverage.
- a (major aspects): b (focused):
- a (major aspects):
- It follows the neutral point of view policy.
- Fair representation without bias:
- Fair representation without bias:
- It is stable.
- No edit wars, etc.:
- No edit wars, etc.:
- It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
- a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
- a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales):
- Overall:
- Pass/Fail:
- Pass/Fail:
Specific concerns
- General:
- Needs Template:Persondata
- Lead:
- there is information in the lead that isn't in the body of the article, specifically the first paragraph of the lead. Suggest putting in the "early career" section and making it "Early life" of some such.
Done - Define where Canton of Zurich is? Not everyone is going to know that it's in Switzerland. Done
- "Knights Cross" or "Knight's Cross"? Same for "Commanders Cross" or "Commander's Cross"? Done
- there is information in the lead that isn't in the body of the article, specifically the first paragraph of the lead. Suggest putting in the "early career" section and making it "Early life" of some such.
- Early career:
- Link gymnasium to the school type? Otherwise your American readers are likely to be wondering why he studied in a sports facility Done
- Should ranks be capitalized or not? YOu have Lieutenant, but major later. Consistency is needed. Done
- Link gymnasium to the school type? Otherwise your American readers are likely to be wondering why he studied in a sports facility
- War of the first Coalition:
- "... general against the ever stronger French Army of the Mosel." This means nothing to me without some context. Suggest either supplying the context or removing the "ever" so it isn't confusing to the non-specialist. Done
- "... general against the ever stronger French Army of the Mosel." This means nothing to me without some context. Suggest either supplying the context or removing the "ever" so it isn't confusing to the non-specialist.
- Death -
- "the owl has either gone out of his mind, or he never had one" this quote makes no sense, quite honestly. I'm not sure it has much bearing on the article, suggest cutting it but if you feel it must stay, it needs explanation on who the owl is, etc. explained
- Who gave Charles the orders to withdraw? I think this might help with understanding why the information is important. Done
- I'm not sure that the level of detail given in the last paragraph is important, considering that Hotze has died by this point. modified
- Family
- Same problem with the level of detail about the brother's life, is it really necessary for this detail to be in Fredrich's article? A bit is useful, but who the brother married, etc. is probably too much. modified
- I've put the article on hold for seven days to allow folks to address the issues I've brought up. Feel free to contact me on my talk page, or here with any concerns, and let me know one of those places when the issues have been addressed. If I may suggest that you strike out, check mark, or otherwise mark the items I've detailed, that will make it possible for me to see what's been addressed, and you can keep track of what's been done and what still needs to be worked on. Ealdgyth - Talk 18:55, 14 December 2009 (UTC)