Talk:Galán/GA1
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Reviewer: Ceranthor (talk · contribs) 19:21, 5 September 2018 (UTC)
I'll review this. ceranthor 19:21, 5 September 2018 (UTC)
- Lead
- "and involves the penetration of melts into the crust" - perhaps an overly technical description for the lead?
- "which crop out especially west of the caldera." - "especially" doesn't make sense here
- "2.08 ± 0.02 million years ago the largest eruption of Galán" - clunky
- "2.08 ± 0.02 million years ago the largest eruption of Galán was the source of the Galán ignimbrite, which covered the surroundings of the caldera with ignimbrite material. The volume of this ignimbrite has been estimated to be about 650 cubic kilometres (160 cu mi); after this eruption much smaller ignimbrite eruptions took place and presently two hot springs are active in the caldera." - lots of repetition of ignimbrite in close proximity; should be rephrased
- I think I got these. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 20:02, 6 September 2018 (UTC)
- Geography and geomorphology
- "was discovered in 1975 in a remote region of the Andes,[2] using satellite images.[3] " - was that really the first time it had been discovered? seems too recent
- "The town of Antofagasta de la Sierra lies west-southwest of the Galán caldera,[4] while Tacuil is almost due northeast from the caldera and El Penon southwest of the volcano.[5]" - construction of this sentence is clunky; why link with "while" when the two don't seem to contradict each other - sort of like comparing them when you're not actually intentionally comparing them
- "There are about half a hundred volcanoes" - why not just say 50?
- "and additional volcanoes exist in the Northern Volcanic Zone and the Southern Volcanic Zone, two other volcanic belts north and south of the Central Volcanic Zone.[9]" - last bit seems a bit redundant
- "chain of silicic volcanoes" - I'd link and briefly explain what silicic means
- "about 70,000 square kilometres (27,000 sq mi)[8] about 200 kilometres (120 mi) north of Galán,[12]" - not thrilled with the repetition of "about X" then "about Y" right after... maybe separate into a new sentence or rephrase?
- "19–17 kilometres (12–11 mi) beneath the Altiplano-Puna volcanic complex electrical," - why larger-smaller for the range values?
- Any more info available on the "Altiplano Puna Magma Body"?
- Subduction is linked more than its first mention
- You should link caldera at the first mention, at the very beginning of the section
- "displays elevations of about 6,100 metres (20,000 ft).[20]" - elevations, plural?
- References should appear in order - ie. not [26][1] or [29][1]
- "extreme environmental conditions that life within the lake have to sustain," - that they "have to sustain"? Maybe you mean to say withstand?
- "and large amounts of ultraviolet radiation.[30][31] " - from the elevation I assume, not the lake itself? Worth clarifying this.
- No, it's not too recent. Such giant calderas often can't be readily noticed when you are on the ground, especially when it's a remote area. I don't think that the reference order is really a big deal. I am not sure that the rewrite for UV radiation is better than what was there previously. I got the other things. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 20:02, 6 September 2018 (UTC)
- Geology
- "600-365 million years old metamorphic[40] and sedimentary rocks," - same note as before; why suddenly switching from higher value to lower value for ranges?
- "The basement beneath the caldera consists of 600-365 million years old metamorphic[40] and sedimentary rocks, and the basement is of Precambrian to Paleozoic age.[41] " - Seems overly verbose; could you reword cutting out some words in this sentence?
- "14.5 million years ago" - can you add an "About" before this, since I assume it's not entirely concrete?
- "Mafic volcanism" - I'd describe what mafic means in parentheses briefly
- "Since about ten million years ago," - Think this should be "10 million years ago" for consistency's sake
- Got these. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 20:02, 6 September 2018 (UTC)
- Climate and biology
- " 23–8 °C (73–46 °F) in summer and winter" - same note as above
- "5,000–3,900 metres (16,400–12,800 ft) elevation" - again
- "Poaceae such as Festuca and Stipa. " - adding common names too if they exist might be useful
- "In sheltered areas birds like ducks and flamingos can be observed.[38]" - at all elevations? any elevation notes with this?
- I don't think there is elevation information. Got the other things. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 20:02, 6 September 2018 (UTC)
- Eruptive history
- "large ignimbrites such as the[15] " - why a reference after "the"?
- "The later classifications established a 6.5 - 5.5 million years old" - should be "million" and should be hyphenated to "million-year-old"... also for time ranges it should be an endash not a hyphen
- "The formation is fairly heterogeneous," - in what sense? be more explicit
- "On the northern side of the Galán complex, they extend up to 80 kilometres " - "they" should be replaced with ignimbrites since it's a new paragraph
- "The last eruption may have generated a caldera that was later obliterated.[77] " - any idea what obliterated it?
- Cause the first source does not give the name of the ignimbrites. Oh, how I hate page number citations, they turn articles into footnote salad... I think "hterogeneous" is explained after the comma. No explanation seems to be forthcoming on the "what obliterated". Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 20:02, 6 September 2018 (UTC)
- References and Images
- Refs look good.
- looks like Copyvio Earwig's tool checks out - will look through again once above comments are fixed.
- Need to fix the out of order citations where they should move from lowest number to highest number
- If you can find another free image, it might be worth adding
- Looked for a free image, these two are the only ones I can see that are strictly about this caldera. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 20:02, 6 September 2018 (UTC)
Good work. ceranthor 15:47, 6 September 2018 (UTC)
- @Jo-Jo Eumerus: So you've addressed all my comments, right? ceranthor 19:23, 8 September 2018 (UTC)
- Ceranthor Yes, I think so. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 19:24, 8 September 2018 (UTC)