Talk:Grown Woman (Kelly Rowland song)/GA1

GA Review[edit]

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Reviewer: Blackjacks101 (talk) 01:47, 18 December 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Hey this is my first time ever actually reviewing an article and I'm fairly new to this process but I have been watching for the past few months on how these reviews are done so I think I know what to do.

Lead

"Written by American singer-songwriters Ne-Yo, Magnus Beite, Bernt Stray, and Norwegian duo Stargate, the mid-tempo R&B song is the third single taken from her as-of-yet untitled third studio album (2011)." - remove (2011) it's irrelevant and doesn't fit
"It was serviced to Rhythmic, Urban, and Urban AC station in the United States on June 29, 2010." - station needs to become plural
- All of these issues have been fixed. The Utahraptor ^Talk/_Contribs 03:44, 18 December 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Background

"Following the announcement that Rowland's international lead single, "Commander," would not be released in the United States,[2] a new single penned by Ne-Yo was announced as the new American lead single." - "penned by Ne-Yo" needs commas around it
"However, those plans were changed once again when, on June 11, 2010, "Shake Them Haters Off" was replaced with two new lead singles." - however doesn't need comma after
- All of these issues have been fixed. The Utahraptor ^Talk/_Contribs 03:46, 18 December 2010 (UTC)[reply]
- Quick comment, the word "however" introduces the sentence, and therefore should be set off from the rest of the sentence with a comma. The Utahraptor ^Talk/_Contribs 03:49, 18 December 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Release and chart performance

"Since then it has gone on to peak at number twenty-two on the Urban AC Airplay chart having amassaed around 920,000+ audience impressions" - amassed is spelled wrong and "Urban AC Airplay chart" needs comma after it
- All of these issues have been fixed. The Utahraptor ^Talk/_Contribs 03:48, 18 December 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Music video and promotion

"Rowland told New York station 103.5 KTU FM that the video was due to be filmed in the last week of July 2010" - commas need to be put before and after "103.5 KTU FM"
- I don't think this is necessary. Commas are used to set off extra information and introductions to sentences, among other things. The station number is relevant, so no commas are needed. The Utahraptor ^Talk/_Contribs 03:52, 18 December 2010 (UTC)[reply]

"Rowland did, however, perform the song live for the first time at Ne-Yo's post-American Music Awards Vevo party on November 21, 2010.[27]" - I don't think the comma is needed before the however
- The addition of the comma is grammatically correct. The Utahraptor ^Talk/_Contribs 03:52, 18 December 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Summary

All in all I believe you've done a great job to a small topic, if you have any concerns on the review I'd really appreciate the criticism. If there is anything else you want me to look at I will. Once again I'm sorry if what I just did was incorrect.--Blackjacks101 (talk) 01:47, 18 December 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I've fixed most of these issues and provided feedback on a couple things. The Utahraptor ^Talk/_Contribs 03:52, 18 December 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the feedback! I totally understand you, it's my philosophy that writing is a personal thing and that a lot of things can be put up for personal debate. But yes, I do agree with you and I am passing this article.--Blackjacks101 (talk) 14:18, 18 December 2010 (UTC)[reply]