Talk:H to He, Who Am the Only One/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Carbrera (talk · contribs) 16:37, 24 May 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Initial comments:

Thought about reviewing this a few months back and saw that no one has taken over yet so mine as well. Here we go:

Maybe this is just me, but in "The songs had a common theme of loneliness and isolation, including a killer shark", I don't see really a connection between a shark and loneliness

Can't see where this is in the body, so rewritten Ritchie333 ^(talk) ^(cont) 19:07, 3 June 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Done

"The album did not chart in the UK" --> Since this isn't mentioned without the article itself, does it need to be included in the lead?

Put it in the body Ritchie333 ^(talk) ^(cont) 19:07, 3 June 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Done

In "Background"–and just so there is a little background info–I would suggest adding the release year for Eyewitness, whether it be "to the 1970 film Eyewitness" or "to the film Eyewitness (1970)".

Done the first Ritchie333 ^(talk) ^(cont) 19:07, 3 June 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Done

"counting Anthony Minghella as one of their fans" --> I'm afraid I don't see the importance in this

It's in the source, and it shows they weren't playing to nobody Ritchie333 ^(talk) ^(cont) 19:07, 3 June 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Good

"The lyrics referred to a shark in the ocean, who becomes lonely through killing everything." --> Now that I see this here, I would suggest trying to incorporate some of this in the lead because it comes off as confusing at first (or at least to me)

I trimmed down the lead, per earlier comments Ritchie333 ^(talk) ^(cont) 19:07, 3 June 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Good

In "Background", shouldn't "House With No Door" be "House with No Door"?

A quick Google search suggests not Ritchie333 ^(talk) ^(cont) 19:07, 3 June 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Good

If possible, I would include the release year for Pawn Hearts too in "Recording"; I realize it is not mandatory but it may be beneficial to the reader

Done Ritchie333 ^(talk) ^(cont) 19:07, 3 June 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Done

Regarding the fourth paragraph of "Reception", I feel like the color changes of the album might be better off in the "Artwork" section–what do you think?

Agreed, rejigged Ritchie333 ^(talk) ^(cont) 19:07, 3 June 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Done

In the "Track listing" section, "Pioneers Over c." has a "." as part of its title whereas in the lead it does not; does it matter?

A veritable dog's breakfast, the LP sleeve I have here has "Pioneers Over c" in the track listing, and "The Pioneers Over C." in the lyrics section. Time for a footnote. Ritchie333 ^(talk) ^(cont) 19:07, 3 June 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Done – I like what you did very much. Carbrera (talk) 21:52, 4 June 2017 (UTC).[reply]

From my experience, there is generally a source given in the "Personnel" section

Done (it's verbatim from the LP sleeve) Ritchie333 ^(talk) ^(cont) 19:07, 3 June 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Done

In Reference #10, the website itself seems to have a space between "Sofa" and "Sound"

Done Ritchie333 ^(talk) ^(cont) 19:07, 3 June 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Done

I believe in Reference #25 Billboard should be linked

Done Ritchie333 ^(talk) ^(cont) 19:07, 3 June 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Done

ON HOLD: A job well done with this article! Glad to see your improvements made over time. Please don't hesitate to ask me questions or anything–just ping me. Regards, Carbrera (talk) 20:10, 28 May 2017 (UTC).[reply]

@Carbrera: Thanks for the review; sorry I haven't been around much at all this week as I've been on holiday and limited to minor stuff on my phone. Anyway, all the issues above should now be addressed, let me know if there's anything else. Ritchie333 ^(talk) ^(cont) 19:07, 3 June 2017 (UTC)[reply]

No need to apologize. Everything looks great (and thanks for doing each edit individually; it makes it easier for me). Regards, Carbrera (talk) 21:52, 4 June 2017 (UTC).[reply]