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Talk:Hamidou Maiga/GA1

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GA Review

[edit]

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.


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Reviewer: Aoba47 (talk · contribs) 20:31, 27 March 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Lead and infobox
  • Do you think that a link for “the West” would be helpful (i.e. to Western world)?
  • For the lead, I would expand a bit on his discovery as there is more information in the body of the article on this.
  • The lead does not address any of his early life and career beginnings. I would incude more information on this.
Considering the general brevity of the article, I'd think his training as a photojournalist (not explicated) and the details of Jack Bell's discovery to be minor points
Early life and career
  • Please add ALT text to the image.
  • Please add a sentence to the end of the image caption as it is a complete sentence that requires punctuation.
  • For this part (but entered photography in the early 1950s through photojournalism and his first medium format camera.), I am not certain that “through” is the correct word choice here.
  • Since you have linked multiple geographic locations in the artcle as a whole, do you think a link in this phrase (from a Ghanaian colleague) would be helpful?
  • For this part (and some had never before seen a camera.), please add the reference at the end to make it clear what is supporting this information.
  • I have a clarification question about this sentence (Back in Timbuktu, he opened a studio where he photographed figures across politics, sports, and the arts). Is there any information on why Maiga moved back to Timbuktu for work?
I included everything I found, but I imagine it's assumed that his trip ended and he simply returned to where he had been living
  • For this part (While Seydou Keïta and Malick Sidibé are regarded as the Malian masters), please clarify who is regarding them in this way.
The sources put it as general epithet with wide acceptance rather than an opinion
  • For this part (Maiga is lesser known but acknowledged as a major figure in Malian portrait photography), please put the references in the correct order.
The refs are in order of importance
  • I am not certain about the way that this part (He once shared a studio with Sidibé) is set aside in parenthesis. It awkwardly breaks the flow of the paragraph. If you do not think it fits necessarily in the prose, I would make it an end-note to avoid disturbing the overall prose of the paragraph.


*I have the same question here as the lead. Do you think that a link for “the West” would be helpful (i.e. to Western world)?

I'm inclined to think it's broad enough that most readers wouldn't need clarification
Final comments
  • This is a very interesting article, and I learned a lot from reading and reviewing it. Once all of my comments are addressed, I will be more than happy to pass this as a good article. Have a great rest of your week. Aoba47 (talk) 21:35, 28 March 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Thanks, @Aoba47—appreciate the review! I think I covered all points above, if you'd like to take another peek czar 12:31, 6 April 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Verdict
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.