Talk:Hum Aapke Dil Mein Rehte Hain/GA1
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Reviewer: SL93 (talk · contribs) 05:18, 15 January 2021 (UTC)
The lead
[edit]- "Hum Aapke Dil Mein Rehte Hain (English: I Live in Your Heart) is a 1999 Indian Hindi-language romantic drama film directed by Satish Kaushik and produced by D. Ramanaidu for his banner Suresh Productions."
- I suggest changing "banner" to company or something similar. It isn't often that the word banner is used in this way.
- "It starred" and "playing supporting roles".
- Starred should be changed to stars. Playing would better as "in supporting roles".
- "The film telling the story"
- This should be "The film tells the story".
- "served as a remake"
- Should be "serves as a remake". Better yet, it could "is a remake".
- "and lyrics are penned by"
- "and the lyrics were written by"
- "garnered well-response from audience"
- This sentence should be removed entirely per my next point below or it should be made clear that it's not from critics.
- "The film received mixed-to-positive reviews"
- Are these reviews from critics?
- "with mostly critical praise was directed"
- The word "was" is not needed.
Plot section
[edit]- "The pampered Vijay has completed his education and now indulges in life's temptations to the extreme."
- How does he indulge in life's temptations to the extreme?
- Removed --Nicholas Michael Halim (talk) 06:45, 15 January 2021 (UTC)
- "Megha is Vishwanath's personal assistant in his office. She is a hardworking girl struggling to support her family."
- Instead of two sentences, this can be combined into one sentence due to both of them focusing on the same character.
- "Vishwanath asks Megha to quit her job and marry his son, but she refuses when she hears Vijay's strange condition."
- Why would she ask Megha to do that? What is the strange condition?
- Changed --Nicholas Michael Halim (talk) 06:45, 15 January 2021 (UTC)
- "Vijay wants the marriage to be on a contract basis for a year and, if he does not fall in love with his wife in that duration, the marriage will be annulled."
- Why does Vijay want that?
- "However, Megha's family is in dire financial straits and, so, she has to reconsider this offer."
- How will the marriage give wealth to Megha's family?
- I think the sentence is clear now --Nicholas Michael Halim (talk) 08:07, 15 January 2021 (UTC)
- "In return for marrying Vijay, she asks for financial support for her family, which Vishwanath readily provides."
- Why did Vishwanath readily provide financial support?
- I think the sentence is clear now --Nicholas Michael Halim (talk) 08:07, 15 January 2021 (UTC)
- "when he meets with an accident"
- This part sounds unusually phrased. What is the accident?
- Changed, a car accident --Nicholas Michael Halim (talk) 07:59, 15 January 2021 (UTC)
- "At the end of the year, however, Vijay decides to annul the marriage, as had been agreed upon."
- Why did Vijay decide to do that? It seemed like a happy marriage from the sentence before it.
- I think it's better now --Nicholas Michael Halim (talk) 08:15, 15 January 2021 (UTC)
- "After the separation, Vijay seems to be enjoying himself; but slowly and eventually, he starts to feel a longing for the presence of his devoted wife."
- Why does he feel that longing?
- "Complications arise when Megha finds out that she is pregnant with Vijay's child."
- What complications?
- It's already cleared... --Nicholas Michael Halim (talk) 08:27, 15 January 2021 (UTC)
- "People in her neighbourhood start to question her stay at her mother's house and the identity of the child's father."
- Why are they questioning those things?
- That's a normal thing when a woman suddenly get pregnant, while she's not with her husband or doesn't have a husband. As we know that India has many norms. In my country, it also happened --Nicholas Michael Halim (talk) 08:27, 15 January 2021 (UTC)
- "In order to support herself, Megha gets a job in a new company"
- "starts a job"
- "Vijay continues to pursue her and leaves no stone unturned to show her that he cares for her."
- What does he do to show her that?
- Concise --Nicholas Michael Halim (talk) 08:40, 15 January 2021 (UTC)
- "Vishwanath and Vijay attend the ceremony as well and give her presents"
- It should be clarified as to who is receiving the presents.
- "An argument follows; Vijay and his father walk out, followed by all the guests."
- What is the argument about?
- Removed, as this part is unimportant. --Nicholas Michael Halim (talk) 08:42, 15 January 2021 (UTC)
- "Near the completion of her pregnancy, Megha learns that troublemakers Khairati Lal and Yeshwant Kumar, who had once attempted to kill Vijay, have escaped from prison."
- This plot point seems to have came from out of nowhere.
- "On the way, she learns that the whole thing was a set-up by Vijay's friends to lure her back to her husband."
- Why did her friends want to lure her back to her husband?
- "As soon as she meets him, she accuses him of this shameless act."
- What shameless act?
- "Vijay then staggers towards her, with his stomach pierced by a piece of glass and blood pouring from the wound. It turns out that Khairati and Yeshwant have attacked him in reality."
- I'm confused. There is no transition anywhere from the last plot point to the stabbing happening. Why add "in reality"? I didn't think that the film was based in a virtual world or something.
I'll rewatch the film, so i can match the plot section; i watched it a few months ago, i'm so sorry... --Nicholas Michael Halim (talk) 05:35, 15 January 2021 (UTC)
- SL93 I think the plot section is clear now, you can review it now :) --Nicholas Michael Halim (talk) 13:43, 15 January 2021 (UTC)
Production section
[edit]- "was remade from"
- "is a remake of"
- "and marking"
- "and it marks"
- "comeback to"
- "return to" sounds better
- "Meanwhile, Kajol who almost twenty years younger than him was cast as the film's protagonist"
- I don't see how it is relevant how much younger she is.
- "was done"
- This part doesn't sound encyclopedic. A different word other than done should be used.
- "Some songs were shot"
- I think you mean "Some songs were recorded"
Release section
[edit]- Produced under the Suresh Productions banner"
- It seems like the word banner can be removed. Maybe change it to "Produced by Suresh Productions"
- "According to review aggregator website Rotten Tomatoes, it was available for streaming on Prime Video since May 2019."
- This would be better as "It was available for streaming on Prime Video since May 2019" due to it not being a controversial statement.
References
[edit]- How are Planet Bollywood and Bollywood Hungama reliable sources?
- Aitraaz, which is a featured article, uses a source from Planet Bollywood. Bollywood Hungama is a big and famous entertainment portal, and has established in 1999. Many articles like Kareena Kapoor, Preity Zinta and Shah Rukh Khan use it. --Nicholas Michael Halim (talk) 05:39, 15 January 2021 (UTC)
- Awesome. You can consider this part as completed. SL93 (talk) 05:40, 15 January 2021 (UTC)
Everything matches the references and this should be good to go after these issues are resolved. SL93 (talk) 05:20, 15 January 2021 (UTC)
- Nicholas Michael Halim Will 7 days give you enough time to watch the film? SL93 (talk) 05:42, 15 January 2021 (UTC)
- Yeah... --Nicholas Michael Halim (talk) 05:46, 15 January 2021 (UTC)
- I made some minor edits and this is approved for GA now. SL93 (talk) 13:56, 15 January 2021 (UTC)
- Yeah... --Nicholas Michael Halim (talk) 05:46, 15 January 2021 (UTC)
1. Well written?:
- Prose quality:
- Manual of Style compliance:
2. Factually accurate and verifiable?:
- References to sources:
- Citations to reliable sources, where required:
- No original research:
3. Broad in coverage?:
- Major aspects:
- Focused:
4. Reflects a neutral point of view?:
- Fair representation without bias:
5. Reasonably stable?
- No edit wars, etc. (Vandalism does not count against GA):
6. Illustrated by images, when possible and appropriate?:
- Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:
- Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions: SL93 (talk) 13:56, 15 January 2021 (UTC)