Talk:James Harrington (Yorkist knight)/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: Calvin999 (talk · contribs) 07:49, 4 June 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Hello, I'm Calvin999 and I am reviewing this article.

Review

I think there is enough info for an info box. Presumed date of death, place of death, and daughters are known.
Given the length and detail of subsequent, the lead is not providing a good enough summary. The lead is supposed to summarize the entire article.
(d. ?1485) → Birth date is presumed unknown, and his date of death isn't clear?
probably being killed → and was probably killed
with him at the battle of Bosworth. → Battle should be capitalized, as it is the name of war.
Between the late 1450s and 1460s the family had a close relationship with the Nevilles: → What family?
He was in the earl of Salisbury's army → Earl needs capitalizing.
He was in the earl of Salisbury's army when it was ambushed by the Lancastrian Lord Audley near Blore Heath, in Shropshire, on 23 September 1459. → Source?
and sent to Chester Castle, Harrington was pardoned on 29 March 1460 → Misplacement of a comma. Harrington should be the start of a new sentence.
at the battle of Wakefield → Battle should be capitalized. It's a name.
Following the victory of Edward IV at the Battle of Towton on Palm Sunday, 29 April the next year, → Poor phrasing.
by-now ?
of his lawes.' [25] → There's a space in between the apostrophe and the citation.
In the Feud with Lord Stanley section, I'm not sure why the paragraphs beginning Stanley, having finally and Throughout the dispute aren't just one paragraph?
His connection with Gloucester, who aided him in his feud with Stanley,[35] in late 1469, when the duke of Gloucester, as he then was, was appointed forester of Amounderness, Blackburn, and Bowland, and Harrington was Steward of Amournderness hundred. → Far too many commas here, really hard to read.
Sir James Harrington was not mentioned → You don't need to use his full name. You only use full name for the first mention in the lead and then first mention in the first section. Aside from that, just surname is used.
Same again the Family section.
Photos generally shouldn't all be lumped on just one side.
I'm concerned about citations and sources. There are multiple instances of not citations present, so I can't verify a lot of things.

I'd make the reflist 3 instead of 2.

Summary

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

Is it reasonably well written?
A. Prose is "clear and concise", without copyvios, or spelling and grammar errors:

B. MoS compliance for lead, layout, words to watch, fiction, and lists:
Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
A. Has an appropriate reference section:

B. Citation to reliable sources where necessary:

C. No original research:
Is it broad in its coverage?
A. Major aspects:

B. Focused:
Is it neutral?
Fair representation without bias:
Is it stable?
No edit wars, etc:
Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content:

B. Images are provided if possible and are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:
Overall:
Pass or Fail:

I don't believe this article passes multiple points of the criteria. I think this articles needs more work and requires some important structural and style improvements before being able to pass fully. — Calvin999 08:47, 4 June 2015 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.