Talk:John Neville, 1st Marquess of Montagu/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Hawkeye7 (talk · contribs) 05:14, 13 September 2017 (UTC)

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

1. Is it well written?

   A. The prose is clear and concise, and the spelling and grammar are correct:

   B. It complies with the manual of style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation:

2. Is it verifiable with no original research?

   A. It contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline:

   B. All in-line citations are from reliable sources, including those for direct quotations, statistics, published opinion, counter-intuitive or controversial statements that are challenged or likely to be challenged, and contentious material relating to living persons—science-based articles should follow the scientific citation guidelines:

   C. It contains no original research:

   D. It contains no copyright violations nor plagiarism:

3. Is it broad in its coverage?

   A. It addresses the main aspects of the topic:

   B. It stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style):

4. Is it neutral?

   It represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each:

5. Is it stable?

   It does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute:

6. Is it illustrated, if possible, by images?

   A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content:

   B. Images are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:

7. Overall:

   Pass or Fail:

Some issues to resolve:

1. . Can you check the recent changes mostly by anonymous IPs are correct. [1]
   1. Mostly OK, actually, generally typos, grammar, even the odd date error. Couple of odd changes to page numeration at one point but nothing drastic.
2. . Can we get rid of the bare URls? Use the {{cite odnb}} template.
   1. Think I caught all them.
3. . On that subject, I think FN 172 duplicates FN1, 8, 30, 32, 40, 43. Refreshingly, they all follow slightly different formatting.
   1. Per above, standardising the ODNBs sorted them..
4. . The "Marriage" section duplicates the first half of "Family"
   1. Removed the duplicated material, also converted the list of kids to prose. For, I think, the second blooming time.
5. . FN209, 212, 214, 218 and 220 are all pointing at non-existent links. Fix.
   1. done

      Still not right. I don't know what Richardson II (2011), Cockayne (1953) or Gunn (1988) Replace the {{sfn}} templates with {{cite book}}. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 21:52, 13 September 2017 (UTC)

      1. Right- done. Sure I did them yesterday. Clearly not! @Hawkeye7: thanks for this. — fortunavelut luna 06:25, 14 September 2017 (UTC)

         Good. I should add that if you want to take the article to FAC, you'll need to make another pass over the footnotes to make them consistent. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 06:49, 14 September 2017 (UTC)

6. . Is it "Montague" or "Montagu"?
   1. Montagu. I think Montague is a road.
7. . "He was installed n 1462, when he took his father's stall" Should be "in"? (is this a choir stall?)
   1. Probably. Not sure how much singing they did though.
8. . "duke of York" should be "Duke of York"
   1. done
9. . "with Warwick, as representative's of the king" Drop the apostrophe
   1. done
10. . " has been described as the hightest point for his House" highest?
    1. done
11. . "earl of Northumberland" should be "earl of Northumberland"
    1. -clarify?
12. . "increasingly duisatisfied with his relationship" dissatisfied?
    1. done
13. . "Eventually, howeve, "however?
    1. done
14. . his brother went into French into exile" ? TMI
    1. Rm dup
15. . "He was also one of three men who was instructe d" were?
    1. d. Odd spacing!
16. . "was causatory to his family's long-running feud" ?
    1. I.e. that he was personally to blame, along with Egremont; per Wolffe: "The disturbances in Yorkshire were caused by the landless younger sons of the erls of" etc. In any case, I simplified the sentence.
17. . "Gailing to find him"
    1. I gailed to spot that, certainly.
18. . "Both him and Egremont were subsequently summoned to appear before the Royal Council, a summons which was ignored by both." he? (and overuse of "both"?)
    1. Agree; best to remove the first instance I think.
19. . "the unpopularity of Sir Wiliam Plumpton (the king's man)" Any relation to Sir William Plumpton?
    1. Yo
20. . "whom the Nevilles' captured." Drop the apostrophe
    1. d
21. "John, however continued to be commissioned by the government. "
    1. Make that "...continued to receive commissions from the govt."
22. "Even though he had numeric superiority" "numerical"?
    1. Al.
23. "at some point John Nevile" changed the spelling of his name?
    1. +l
24. and he requested requested parliament to reaffirm this" Twice apparently
    1. -req
25. " women receive livery of their lands" What does "livery" mean here?
    1. Etymologically originating with livery as a costume, i.e something one received- but only touched upon, in this particular sense, very briefly in our Livery article. There should probably be a new article on it specifically at some point.
26. "with three baillies, a large keep, and fortified gateways.Dunstanburgh Castle" What does "bailles" mean here? (Consider linking "keep") And insert a space after full stop.
    1. It's first person singular for 'Dancing' in Asturian, I believe; could also be a typo for Bailey  :) all done
27. "Wrwick was his counterpart" Missing A?
    1. A+
28. "This was followed by dutypayments" Insert space?
    1. done
29. "would receive from the Bishop in later years" comma after "years"
    1. done
30. "with Lords Greystoke and Willoughby" Any relation to Ralph de Greystoke, 5th Baron Greystoke Or Robert Welles, 8th Baron Willoughby de Eresby?
    1. Nice one- many thanks
31. "This, with its income of between £700 and £1,000 a year, has been said, was his reward for his decisive victories, since the Crown "had played no direct part in them." Grammar a bit wonky, and who was it that said it?
    1. Split into two sentences; v poor not to have an article on one of the first female historians- tba
32. "he was granted the Constableships and honors of Knaresborough and Pontefract castles" Small "c", and "honours"
    1. Tweaked whole sentence
33. "Steward of the duchy of Lancaster" "Duchy"
    1. d
34. "Montague was the only Nevile to accompany the king on his journey" changed the spelling of his name?
    1. Changed per earler mass reversal
35. "Marquisate of Montague" "Marquessate"
    1. Also linked, since it was the first in Eng hist; perhaps worth mentioning?
36. "Lncolnshire uprising" "Lincolnshire"
    1. d
37. "earl of Northumberland " "Earl of Northumberland"
    1. done
38. "Readeption of Henry VI' ???
    1. Per our article & the scholarship generally
39. "as James Ross has put it,'disaster struck." Space after comma
    1. d
40. "In the time him and his force had been absent, " "he"
    1. done
41. "the King personally directed this, and arraged for the corpses" "arranged"
    1. done
42. "even though Isabel was over fourteen years-old (an therefore of Legal age)' "and"
    1. done (actually, think this was one causght by that IP!)

Hawkeye7 (discuss) 05:14, 13 September 2017 (UTC)

• @Hawkeye7: Thanks very much for that. See above for my changes. I've also added 'Main articles.' "Montagu's attack soon became a route"- Your second opinion? suddenly occured to me that that might make it sound as if somehow his attack was routed, rather than the Lanc defence being routed? Your opinion? — fortunavelut luna 16:00, 13 September 2017 (UTC)

  That's fine. I changed "route" to "rout". Hawkeye7 (discuss) 21:35, 13 September 2017 (UTC)

• Looks good. Passing now. There will be a delay while the Bot handles things. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 06:49, 14 September 2017 (UTC)

Thanks Hawkeye7, nice one. D'you think that- not counting the footers which I'm going to start on soon- it's got (off te record) potential? I was thinking, maybe A-class? Thank you, agin, for your work here. — fortunavelut luna 07:10, 14 September 2017 (UTC)

It has potential. I would run it through A-class before taking on FAC. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 10:56, 14 September 2017 (UTC)