Talk:LeBron James/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Resolute (talk · contribs) 22:51, 6 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall:
Pass/Fail:

General

Images are good. Most are free use, but one set is fair use with valid claims and a defined relationship with the associated text
- There may even be too many images. Not a requirement, but the infobox image is reused lower down. I'd probably remove the second usage myself.
- Not a GA requirement, but alternative text is recommended for images.
References look reliable
- Reference format is inconsistent. Most of the references use citation templates, but many do not. These latter refs should be reformatted for consistency.
- Spot check shows no close paraphrasing concerns

Overall concern: Article is already too long, per WP:DETAIL, and will only get longer as each season passes. I will complete a review for the article as stands, but frankly, the season summaries are excessive and need to be reduced if there are any aspirations toward featured article status, or even to maintain a good article status into the future.

Lead

"In 2012, he led Miami to their second ever NBA title," - "second ever" is poor prose. Either simply strike "ever" or consider rewording "to the second NBA title in franchise history..."
"His list of achievements and leadership during the Heats' 2012 championship..." - Needs rewording. Perhaps, "His career achievements, coupled with his leadership role in Miami's championship, have led a majority of basketball analysts..."
"Having shown a passion for entertainment, he has been featured in books, documentaries, and television commercials, and has hosted the ESPY Awards and Saturday Night Live." - Two potentially unrelated statements joined together. That James has been prominently covered in entertainment media does not show his "passion for entertainment".

Early life

Majority of this section is unreferenced, and some of the commentary on his parents' lives raises WP:BLP concerns as a result. Everything after ref 4 in the first paragraph needs to be cited or removed.
"The structure of the Walker household worked wonders for James..." - unencyclopedic tone. Please reword (and cite)
Spell out acronyms on first use. Should read as Amateur Athletic Union (AAU). Check for other examples (for instance, NFL needs to be expanded in the following paragraph).

High School career

"James was a starter for St. Vincent-St. Mary's varsity basketball team from day one." - "from day one" is both unencyclopedic and lacks context. If he made the starting lineup in his freshman season, just say that. Also needs a citation
Newspapers, magazines and printed works should be italicized, e.g.: USA Today. Check the article for others, as I have seen examples like Sports Illustrated and ESPN the Magazine both requiring italics.
"James' junior year saw him gain national attention." - James' junior year is not a person, therefore could not have seen anything. "James gained national attention in his junior year."
Statistics for the 2001-02 season, awards and his "Gatorade National Player of the Year" award is unreferenced.

Overall

At this point, I feel the need to stop the review, as there is too much unsourced material, especially the above noted BLP concerns, to continue. The remainder of the article looks much better at a glance (though the final paragraph of 'Public image' is entirely unreferenced.) The manual of style issues I have noted above exist throughout. With regret - especially for how long it waited in the queue - I am failing this nomination. However, this articles editors have done a good job overall and the issues presented are definitely fixable. Please consider resolving these concerns and renominating. I might suggest a peer review in between. But either way, ping me on my talk page if and when you renominate, and I will re-review without making it languish another three months in the GAN queue. Regards, Reso lute 22:51, 6 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]