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Talk:Louis Timothee/GA1

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GA Review

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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 20:26, 8 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]


Comments

  • Worth mentioning in the lead he was from the Netherlands.
  •  Done


  • Those "colonies" link to "province" articles, is that more appropriate for them?
  •  Done


  • ". A couple of newspapers ..." perhaps, "... publishing newspapers which included..."
  •  Done


  • "30 Dec 1738 (age 39)" odd short date format.
  •  Done


  • Normally the birth/death date details are included after the name in the lead.
  •  Done



  • "USA" -> "US".
  •  Done


  • "08 Dec 1726" again, odd short date format and we don't need leading zeroes on dates.
  •  Done


  • "lived in Rotterdam after they fled France and went to Holland" split sentence, and link Rotterdam.
  •  Done


  • "in the Netherlands he" link it here if you're going to use Holland before.
  •  Done


  • "September 21, 1731" which date format is this article using?
  •  Done


  • Link British America.
  •  Done


  • "Philadelphia, Timothy advertised" he advertised
  •  Done


  • "public French School" link public appropriately, and what is meant exactly by a "French School"? Is it just a

"French-language school" in reality?

  •  Done


  • "Timothy got acquainted" got->became.
  •  Done


  • "His first attempt at a newspaper was " quick repeat of "newspaper", suggest a re-word.
  •  Done


  • "by Franklin.[1] Franklin" repetitive.
  •  Done


  • "Franklin furnished up front" avoid repeating "furnished" so quickly, perhaps "provided" or "lent" or similar.
  •  Done


  • "the yellow fever disease" just "yellow fever" is fine.
  •  Done


  • "Timothy did well as a newspaper publisher" in what sense?
  •  Done


  • Is there a link for postmaster which is appropriate?
  •  Done


  • "business to an assortment of jobs, including books" -> "business to include books"
  •  Done


  • "In this period Timothy's son Peter was beginning" -> "During this period, Timothy's son Peter began..."
  •  Done


  • "to do the" perform?
  •  Done


  • "would get the" get or inherit? Or take over?
  •  Done


  • "discussion group. The group" repetitive.
  •  Done


  • "no full time" full-time
  •  Done


  • "salaried librarian in " linked too late, and repetitive, the word "librarian" is already in this sentence.
  •  Done


  • "three pounds sterling" £3, link and inflate.
  •  Done


  • "arranged with Benjamin Franklin" no need for Benj.
  •  Done


  • "1733. He started" merge short sentences.
  •  Done


  • "four of which were children born in" four of whom were born in
  •  Done


  • "This was the third year Timothy had arrived" It was three years since Timothy's arrival...
  •  Done


  • "shop Timothy continued" comma after shop.
  •  Done


  • "He died after this announcement two months later" He died two months after this announcement...
  •  Done


  • "sure. In fact on" -> "sure. In contrast, on...
  •  Done


  • "had put in a special clause inserted" had included a special clause in
  •  Done


  • "partnership contract that his eldest son Peter could succeed him" didn't you already mention that?
  •  Done


  • "of 2nd page" second, 3rd -> third etc.
  •  Done