Talk:Maria Ulfah Santoso/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Ealdgyth (talk · contribs) 21:01, 30 March 2012 (UTC)[reply]

I'll be reviewing this article shortly. Ealdgyth - Talk 21:01, 30 March 2012 (UTC)[reply]

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
A few spots where the prose could use some work, especially with the short choppy paragraphs.
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
A couple of spots where a bit more explanation is in order to make the meaning clear
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall:
Pass/Fail:

Early life:

Her father was regent for whom/what?

I've wikilinked. Regent in an Indonesian sense is a bit different than in the general sense (i.e. he's representing his people, not ruling in stead of a minor). Now they're elected, but I think they were appointed in the early 20th century.

~~"Santoso also worked to promote women's literacy through sewing groups." Okay... this needs a bit more explanation - how do you promote literacy through sewing?~~

Done.

Government work:

When did she and her second husband go on the haij?

All the source says is "She occupied various top-level positions in the State Secretariat (1962-1967), served as a member of the State Advisory Council (1968-1973), represented Indonesia at numerous international conferences, went on the Haj with Soebadio, and also managed a visit to Cornell." I haven't found a date in any other sources.

Why do you capitalize the various cabinets, but not the titles such as Minister of Justice or Prime Minister?

The way I see it (after several disagreements at DYK, which led to me adopting another editor's approach), the cabinets are titles, while a plain "social minister" means social ministers in general and is not capitalised. The formal name for the position, "Social Minister of Indonesia", should probably be capitalised. We don't always capitalise "reverend", for example.

Legacy:

Can we have a translation for the names of the awards she received? And some sort of idea of the importance of them? Are they often given or are they only rarely given? Do the awards have articles?

Added a wikilink above. I've added very rough translations as well; I originally didn't translate since the language used in the titles is very heavily influenced by Sanskrit and I wasn't sure of my abilities with those.

A bit about the Bintang Mahaputra added. Can't find information onthe Satya Lencanas

General:

There are a number of short two or three sentence paragraphs. This gives the prose a choppy feel and they could probably be combined together to alleviate this impression.
No children?

One adopted child.

I've put the article on hold for seven days to allow folks to address the issues I've brought up. Feel free to contact me on my talk page, or here with any concerns, and let me know one of those places when the issues have been addressed. If I may suggest that you strike out, check mark, or otherwise mark the items I've detailed, that will make it possible for me to see what's been addressed, and you can keep track of what's been done and what still needs to be worked on. Ealdgyth - Talk 22:09, 30 March 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Looks good, passing now. Ealdgyth - Talk 12:29, 31 March 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the review! Crisco 1492 (talk) 14:02, 31 March 2012 (UTC)[reply]