Jump to content

Talk:Monument to the uprising of the people of Kordun and Banija

Page contents not supported in other languages.
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

A Commons file used on this page has been nominated for deletion

[edit]

The following Wikimedia Commons file used on this page has been nominated for deletion:

Participate in the deletion discussion at the nomination page. —Community Tech bot (talk) 20:37, 13 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]

GA Review

[edit]
GA toolbox
Reviewing
This review is transcluded from Talk:Monument to the uprising of the people of Kordun and Banija/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Nominator: Joeyquism (talk · contribs) 06:18, 2 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: Rollinginhisgrave (talk · contribs) 11:52, 31 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

I'll take this article on. Thanks for bringing it to GA. Rollinginhisgrave (talk) 11:52, 31 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for taking this review, Rollinginhisgrave. I'll get to addressing everything once the initial comments are finalized. joeyquism (talk) 14:43, 31 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Sounds good. Sorry I've stepped away before completing the initial comments, I'll pick it back up in 12 hours or so. It was unexpectedly affecting. Rollinginhisgrave (talk) 14:46, 31 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Totally understandable; the background behind the monument is quite heavy, to say the least. If you ever feel that you need more time in general, though, feel free to let me know. joeyquism (talk) 14:51, 31 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Making my way through a bit slowly but steadily. I've been completing copyedits as I go, removing things too small to list here. Please review these changes to make sure you are happy with them. Rollinginhisgrave (talk) 13:41, 1 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the copyedits, Rollinginhisgrave; I really appreciate it. Looking forward to the full review, and apologies for not taking it piecewise as you have been listing things. I've been meaning to take a break and I'm slowly weaning off the contributions + I've been swamped by a bunch of people taking on my remaining GANs in addition to FAC. Once everything's all here, I'll address it in full, if that's okay with you. joeyquism (talk) 15:16, 1 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]
It's okay of course. Hopefully it'll be finished up in the next two days and then when you are more available you can have a go at addressing. Rollinginhisgrave (talk) 15:31, 1 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

General comments

[edit]

I will be adding comments as I go.

Prose and content

[edit]
  • Restoration attempts have been largely unsuccessful, leaving the monument with several of its steel panels missing and a decaying concrete structure. Efforts by multiple groups, including government coalitions and a state-owned construction company, have seen limited success, with only partial restorations completed. The monument presently remains in an advanced state of disrepair. these sentences can be merged to avoid redundancy.
  • The first massacres targeted date these, as later dates are given.
  • harsh retaliation from Ustaše forces, which manifested in redundant if executions are attributed to Ustaše forces.
  • over 4,000 combined deaths is it important to note these deaths as "combined"?
  • brutal unnecessary editorialising, the brutality is apparent from the deathtoll.
  • However, the arrival of communist Yugoslav Partisan resistance units stifled the worries of the people I am worried about this section of the article. It is very affecting, but doesn't appear neutral. I don't think it would take much to allay my worries, so I won't comment further until they're addressed.
  • The killings at Ivanović Jarak had proven... sentence confusing tense
  • and by 8–10 August major ethnic cleansing operations Are sources reporting different dates for the ethnic cleansings ending?
  • several encounters between Partisan rebels less euphemistic language
  • In early August, several encounters between Partisan rebels and the Ustaše occurred around the city of Slunj, and by 8–10 August major ethnic cleansing operations had ceased in much of Croatia. this seems to attribute the end of the ethnic cleansing to these "encounters", is this true? Even though they're punishing dissent everywhere else?
  • had been ravaged the writing is so literary. I'm not listing all the issues it's creating with neutrality but I hope you can see the need for a rewrite.
  • most brutal operations" I guess they were killed? Tortured?
  • marking the symbolic end of World War II why is this symbolic?
  • , moving beyond the role of a traditional monument redundant
  • monument's adaptability ?
  • architectural, sculptural, and urbanistic integrity simpler wording
  • with respect to its redundant
  • Several solutions that met this criteria were added to a shortlist, with redundant
  • Stevan Luketić [hr] and architect Ivan Vitić were the recipients of the third-place prize of 10,000 dinars, while works by Marija Ujević and Hrvoje Devide, Drago Kapun, and Šime Vulas [hr] were bought for 7,000 dinars each. UNDUE
  • He thought that the spiral architecture was not well-suited to the historical and environmental context of Petrova Gora, and suggested that the design would be more appropriate for an urban setting rw for concision
  • all activities related to redundant
  • additional content ?

Suggestions

[edit]
  • the monument was repurposed by the Yugoslav People's Army repurposed sounds euphemistic here.

Rollinginhisgrave (talk) 12:39, 31 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Retrieved from "https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Talk:Monument_to_the_uprising_of_the_people_of_Kordun_and_Banija&oldid=1237775923"