Talk:Nauru at the 2008 Summer Olympics/GA1
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Reviewer: Miyagawa (talk) 21:15, 1 August 2011 (UTC)
I'll give the article a read through now and add any queries below. Miyagawa (talk) 21:15, 1 August 2011 (UTC)
- Delegation: Needs a bit of a re-write I think. Firstly, the information in the lead needs to be duplicated in the body of the article as the lead is supposed to summarize the article. Therefore, in the delegation section you need to specify that Itte is the sole athlete. Perhaps something along the lines of "Naaru's delegation to the 2008 Summer Olympics consisted of four men. The first, Itte Detenamo, was the sole athlete and competed in the weightlifting competition. Also in the delegation in a non athletic role was 2004 Olympian Yukio Peter who holds the record for the best placing in any Olympics, eighth in the 69kg weightlifting category. Vinson Detenamo, father of Itte and President of the Nauru Olympic Committee also attended; he had helped in the establishment of Nauru Olympic Committee in 1991 during his term in the Ministry of Sport. The final member of the delegation was Lou Keke as Nauru's Olympic chef de mission." Obviously this isn't meant to be precise, but by breaking that long sentence up into smaller sections you'll be able to insert the references following the relevant parts, rather than add them all to the end.
Done
- Delegation: The sentences about the number of athletes compared to the previous years needs to be moved from the lead into this section.
Done Made a separate para in the "Qualification" section, as it is more relevant there, but retained most of the part in lead also, as you said lead is supposed to be a summary of whole article.
- Qualification: At the moment the paragraph is made up of just one long sentence. I'd suggest breaking it in two. The best place for a split would be after March 27 to 30, 2008. The second sentence can then start "At the event only those..."
Done
- Qualification: Can you explain in the text what the quota means in these circumstances?
- Meaning remained the same (these ain't any special circumstances), but for more simplification replaced with "berths"– more common term for the Olympics context.
- References: Citation #3 includes further information on the selection process for the single spot. Also, it states that the country could have sent a single swimmer and track and field athlete, but chose not to send either.
Done
Going to take a break on the review for now, will continue later. Miyagawa (talk) 21:58, 1 August 2011 (UTC)
- References: #4 needs to have it's author added.
Done
- References: #7 needs to have .com added to sportingpulse.
Done
- Lead: China needs to be "People's Republic of China".
Done
- Lead: Now that the information has been moved from the lead, that too needs a bit of an overhaul. Essentially the lead should summarise the article and at the moment it's very heavy on the information regarding the delegation. Ideally I'd cut the lead at the moment after the line "The sole athlete to represent the nation was Itte Detenamo, who participated in the weightlifting.", although I'd change it to read "The sole athlete to represent the nation was Itte Detenamo, who participated in the weightlifting, and was the flag bearer in both the opening and closing ceramonies." Then after that, you need to have a sentence summing up the qualification and a sentence summing up the weightlifting sections.
Done
Once those points are done, I'll take a look and barring any minor tweaks, we should be there. Miyagawa (talk) 11:39, 2 August 2011 (UTC)
- It is reasonably well written.
- It is factually accurate and verifiable.
- a (references):
b (citations to reliable sources):
c (OR):
- a (references):
- It is broad in its coverage.
- a (major aspects):
b (focused):
- a (major aspects):
- It follows the neutral point of view policy.
- Fair representation without bias:
- Fair representation without bias:
- It is stable.
- No edit wars, etc.:
- No edit wars, etc.:
- It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
- a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales):
b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
- a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales):
- Overall:
- Pass/Fail:
- Pass/Fail:
We're all good, the article now meets the criteria. Good job on a subject where there simply isn't ever going to be a great deal of information available (unless you could somehow access the newspaper archives in Naaru!). Miyagawa (talk) 18:33, 2 August 2011 (UTC)