Talk:Nicolo Giraud/GA1

GA Review

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I'm going to organise my comments on this article section by section:

Lead

"They spent a great deal of time together, riding and swimming at the Pireus every day." Why the Pireus? It's a city. Also, the spelling either needs to be changed to Piraeus or the link disambiguated.

"One of the early sources of information about the relationship was George Colman's poem, Don Leon, which describes a love relationship between Giraud and Byron." I'm unclear whether this is early information on the "love relationship", or among the early information available to early biographers who nevertheless concluded that the relationship was a platonic one.

The lead is a little on the short side, and I think needs to be expanded by another paragraph. It describes a little about their meeting and daily activities, but nothing about their parting, for instance.

--Malleus Fatuorum 19:08, 9 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I rewrote the sentences (I have no idea where they came from) about Pireus to read: "He met the poet during the latter's stay in Athens, probably in about 1810 and they spent a great deal of time together. However, little is known about Giraud except for the few details from Byron and those who knew Byron."

Rewrote the second to say: "One of the early claims about a sexual relationship between Giraud and Byron came from George Colman's poem, Don Leon."

Overall, I expanded the lead a little bit (approximately 60 words). Ottava Rima (talk) 00:11, 10 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks. This is one those rare articles where I think that getting the lead right will make it easier to get the rest of it right, so can you clarify what "was a frequent companion as Byron enjoyed the Mediterranean" means? Because Byron enjoyed the Med, or while Byron enjoyed the Med? --Malleus Fatuorum 01:11, 10 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Both? :P I changed it to while. Rewrote to say: "was his travel companion in the Mediterranean." Ottava Rima (talk) 02:21, 10 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Biography

"After Byron took Giraud to visit an English doctor (a visit the doctor recounts in his memoirs, noting Byron's vivid interest in the boy), rumors were spread by a servant that the consultation regarded an anal rupture. Accounts from Michael Bruce and Howe Browne confirmed the relationship ...". Who are Michael Bruce and Howe Browne? The second sentence doesn't seem connected to the first; what relationship did Bruce and Browne confirm? That Byron had taken Giraud to see a doctor?

"The will read: "To Nicolo Giraud of Athens ...". Is it really "Nicolo" rather than "Nicolò"?

"... according to Phyllis Grosskurth ...". Who is Grosskurth?

Relationship with Byron

"... homosexual studies scholar Louis Crompton believed that pederasty was a facet of Byron's life ..." Why the past tense? Has Crompton changed his/her mind?

"During Byron's illness, Byron boasted to Lady Melbourne that he would have sex ...". Would have sex if what?

That's it, the review is now on hold.

--Malleus Fatuorum 15:12, 10 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

The name is Nicolo. I don't know who ever added the original accent mark. Made some other fixes, including what the connection of Bruce and Browne are. Ottava Rima (talk) 16:55, 10 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks, I'm now listing this article as a GA. --Malleus Fatuorum 22:48, 10 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.