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*fellow Latin-American -> The "fellow" doesn't quite make sense. You're saying she's American, and he's Latin-American  Done
- It was released by Island Records, -> I don't think this comma is necessary. It breaks up the thought. Its one straight solid statement. "It was released by Island Records on February 11, 2011. It can even be its own (short and choppy) sentence Done
- The single's music video was also launched on Idol, and Lopez appeared on the Idol stage for the song's first live performance. -> repetitious and poorly worded Done
*Latina heritage -> I believe proper English would suggest "Latin heritage" Done
*It contains an interpolation of the 1982 composition "Llorando se fue" by Los Kjarkas. The composition was previously sampled by Kaoma in their 1989 single "Lambada". -> I think this would read better as a merged sentence. This way, it reads a bit choppy IMO Done
*Gonzalo and Ulises Hermosa are also credited as songwriters for the incorporation of "Llorando se fue". -> I don't understand. On which song? Lopez's? Make this clearer Done
- I appreciate you trying to apply these fixes to the text, but "on "On the Floor." Lopez described "On the Floor" is still not the way to go. Please try re-reading sections and analyzing text Done
*heavy synths and heavy club beats -> try to refrain from using repetitious wording Done
*It was one of six songs produced by RedOne for Love? Lopez described "On the Floor" as an evolution of her classic song and as something which sounded very current at the time. -> Two issues. First, we are missing punctuation. Next, the reading on this part is a bit troublesome. I was reading about the song's genre influences and composition, and then it just jumps into its release. Try and make a better bridge in between these two. The current "It was one of six songs produced by RedOne for Love?" doesn't work well Done
*Idol was used as the platform to launch the song's music video as well as the stage for Lopez to perform the song live for the first time. -> Could be worded better. Also, the latter part of the sentence is not found in the body (will add live performance(s) section) Done
- music critics, drawing comparisons -> who drew comparisons Done
- warm reception from music critics, with critics Done
- follow-up hit -> NPOV, it is not our job to distinguish what song is a hit Done
*vintage Lopez -> either this is a quote, or original research Done
*Critics complemented the exotic production, calling the song vintage Lopez but criticised somewhat over their perceived lack of originality. -> this one can use work towards the sentences closing (tense issues) Done
*selling nearly two million copies in the United States alone -> I believe the body indicates 2.1 million (over 2) Done
- The song has been certified three-times platinum in Australia as well as platinum in the United States and six other countries. -> wording needs to be improved Done
- Inconsistency with platinum and Platinum. Additionally, the sentence is still small and unconstructive Done
*Fans were given the opportunity to vote for the video's final ending. The completed video premiered simultaneously on Vevo and American Idol. -> avoid these choppy sentences Done
- Lopez is seen as queen of a LA nightclub. -> the. Also, this is a bit original, as this wording is really you're opinion, not a fact✗ Not done
- The sentence still needs work. re-read please Done
*not WP:OR, in MTV's description of the video they refer to one of Lopez's characters in the video as "queen of the nightclub".
- Scenes depict an underground club culture and with the styling, choreography and fashion, highlights Lopez’s abilities as a dancer. -> needs a lot of work Done
- critical acclaim for its expensive production, the styling and choreography, which critics felt best highlighted Lopez’s abilities as a dancer. Done
*It also received critical acclaim for the styling and for overshadowing the episode of Idol it debuted on. -> Doesn't make much sense. If I didn't read the actual quote in the body I wouldn't understand it. Also, then you should mention it being criticized for its use of product placement Done
*It also drew comparisons to the sex appeal last shown by Lopez in the 2002 video for her single "I'm Gonna Be Alright". -> To Lopez's sex appeal Done
Background and release[edit]*has been in conception since late 2007 and early 2008. -> makes it sound as if it still is in conception Done
- Then, under contract to Epic Records, -> During that time frame, Done
the song failed to garner any airplay, -> Can you really say that it garnered no airplay, it might have been played once in Wyoming. I suggest to mention how it didn't chart on any airplay chart, or garnered weak airplay as a result Done- despite topping the US Billboard Hot Dance Club Songs chart -> needs a source Done
- subsequently left Epic Records -> I'm sure she left everyday she came, better would be parted or something more precise Done
*by mutual consent, citing that she had fulfilled her contractual obligations and now wished to release Love? under a new label. -> If she chose to leave, then how is that mutual consent? Done
- Upon signing with Island Def Jam Music Group, Lopez -> the Done
- worked further with The-Dream and Tricky Stewart -> continued work Done
- work, work -> repetitious wording Done
- I noticed that whenever Love? ends a sentence, you do not place punctuation. This is wrong. The question mark is part of the title, therefore not substituting as a proper close to the sentence. You still need to place a period. Done
- In a tweet on her official Twitter account, Lopez posted: "I see u @RedOne_Official! We're making BIG things happen 'On the Floor' this new year!!!". -> If I'm not mistaken, you hope to take this to FA one day. Does Twitter really belong here? We need info from major news networks
- via Rap-Up.com -> No need for the ".com". Also, this fact seems to kind of thrown into the paragraph. There is nothing about it before of following it
- Again, there is no introduction into the "writing" part. Its just stop and go. We need some sort of intro when you change from discussing its background and writing. Example "Subsequently on January 16, 2011, an unfinished snippet of "On the Floor" leaked online via Rap-Up.com. It was produced by RedOne and features a rap from Pitbull." Done
the leaked 2009 club single -> You make it seem as if it was not intentional. I mean it had an accompanying video
✗ Not done, the label said that they leaked the song in a promotional/virale effort, the video was for fun because the song had already leaked, hence it isn't labelled as a single on its own page. — Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 00:51, 13 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]
- Hot Dance Club Songs chart. -> over-link Done
*According to the Los Angeles Times's Gerrick D. Kennedy, a full length unfinished version leaked online over the same weekend, just in time for Lopez's new L'Oreal commercial which premiered during the telecast of the 68th Golden Globe Awards ceremony in Los Angeles -> I'm trying to understand something here. What is he confirming? That it leaked? Or why it did leak? Also, we are still not really sure if you are still talking about "FOTO" or "OTF"
- also coincides with Lopez's debut -> coincided Done
- live world premiere -> Ryan premiers it to the US not the world Done
- premiere.[6] Following its premiere Done
- When speaking of the "On the Floor", Lopez said -> with who? Done
- Meanwhile -> It implies that it was simultaneously Done
- said she had to record "On the Floor" because it captured both sides of her career, singing and dancing, -> "had to"? Could be better. it captured both sides of her career, singing and dancing -> Tell us why that means something. Maybe how since it captures both, it holds sentimental or significant meaning to her Done
Why is there no mention of "Louboutins"? This was kind of the original lead single of the project
Style and composition[edit]- Latino rapper Pitbull provides additional vocals in two verses -> "additional" implies that Lopez's vocals are there as well. From what I remember, Pitbull has his own verse. Done
- deriving from -> influence Done
- Fellow Latin artist and rapper Pitbull -> RedOne is from Morocco, which would make him African. He is not fellow to Pitbull's Latin heritage Done
- It is written in time signature of -> the Done
- Lopez sings in a vocal range from A♭ minor to B♭. -> Lopez's vocals range from the Done
- Bill Lamb also compared the song -> also would only apply if he compared it to the same song as the former reviews Done
- and the exotic touch that "Stereo Love" (2010) by Edward Maya had. -> Definitely need to change that Done
- LA Times is linked about 4 times Done
- agreed stating -> agreed, stating Done
- However, comparisons were made between -> Why "however"? This would only work if critics said it was completely original, then you could say "however, Lamb felt it copied DeLuna's.... Done
- "On the Floor" and another RedOne production, Kat DeLuna's 2010 single, "Party O'Clock", which was also produced by RedOne. -> the latter is redundant Done
- In "Party O'Clock" DeLuna sings -> Not necessary to mention the song, its obvious that DeLuna is singing this song from the previous sentence Done
- was generally met with positive reception. -> was met with Done
- About.com over-link
- positively reviewed the track -> can mean he was positive about reviewing Done
- "small touch of the exotic". -> This was not taken out of context well
- He further went on to say -> c/e Done
- Jennifer Lopez sings with an authority in her voice that makes her -> said above already with "enjoying "Jennifer Lopez' authoritative party leading vocals"," Done
- Mikael Wood from the Los Angeles Times disagreed, calling "On the Floor" the standout track from LOVE? -> Disagreed? How so? Caps? Done
- The Houston Chronicle's Joey Guerra was also critical in noting -> How is any of this critical? Also, you should cut out any mention of the album
- ✗ Not done, i've removed the 'critical' part but the review states that there are four standout songs on the album, of which OTF is one. It provides context.
- Said is repeated a bit too often, try others Done
- the song was a "sweat-inducing, sticky dance floor track -> Did the song disappear? It is Done
- Over-link "FOTO"
- he noted that it was not as "inventive as the pop gems he crafts with muse Lady Gaga" -> I think you can summaries this better than the quote. It appears out of context Done
- and criticised Pitbull's "throwaway verse" but added that the single was "vintage J.Lo." -> however adding Done
- by her fellow critics -> They don't work at the same firm Done
- Why the need to mention her name in every quote?
- Done (note that in this case as both Nadine Cheung and Lopez are female the names are required to distinguish who's been spoken about).
- Nadine Cheung from AOL Radio Blog, Nick Levine from Digital Spy -> repetitious
- ✗ Not done repititious from what? This is a brand new section and each thing needs to be introducted with the link/name etc otherwise those who click and navigate to one particular section may not know how Levine or Cheung are etc..— Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 22:47, 13 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]
- He praised the "no so-subtle" sample and "Latin-tinged electro-housy" production for making the song "the antithesis of classy", and although not original, "there's no denying that this gets the job done." -> Wow, this sentence is a bit crazy Done
- However some critics criticised the lack of originality. -> We need a better introduction for the critical paragraph Done
- In his review of LOVE? -> why caps? Done
- Ken Capobianco from The Boston Globe agreed, describing "On the Floor" as quiet generic. -> How is calling it generic agreeing with the previous reviewer calling it trashy? Done
- The single even drew comparisons to "Party O'Clock," -> Why "even", it makes it sound like a "NO WAY!" moment. Also, this was already mentioned so there is no need to introduce it in such a manner Done
- ✗ Not done again this is a new section and if people have skipped str8 to this section it won't make sense.
- a single by fellow Latina singer -> fellow again? Latina? Done
- also produced by RedOne -> We know this already
- ✗ Not done again this is a new section and if people have skipped str8 to this section it won't make sense.
- The latter half of this paragraph should be a "Controversy" sub-section
- ✗ Not done, only the NY Daily News made these comparisons the only coverage from a reliable source is from the NY daily and the information contained is incredibly tiny. Since positive comparisons were made to Lopez's own singles it seemed to fit better here. Additionally there's not really a 'controversy' as the initial comments were not followed up nor did it have a significant impact on the song, DeLuna didn't even respond to comments that Lopez knew nothing of her song. It has to be taken in context. — Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 22:47, 13 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]
- DeLuna said she was inspired by Lopez, and saw her as someone who opened the doors for people like her to sing. -> said pretty much verbatim in the quote before it Done
- I think two paragraphs would look better than the bulked four Done
- in the week -> during Done
- Thus it became the first single from the Love? album to receive airplay recognition, as neither the album's Epic Records buzz single ("Fresh Out the Oven", which also features Pitbull), nor the previous lead single "Louboutins" had received airplay. -> This sentence is very problematic. First off, the album is over-linked. Next, the Canadian Hot 100 has nothing to do with airplay, so it doesn't make sense. Done
- Lopez, Lopez -> switch it up a bit Done
- It is also Lopez's highest charting single, in Canada, in nine years. -> Poor use of commas. Actually, none are need. Also, this is repetitious as you already told us her last single to top the chart was "Jenny from the Block" (2002). Done
- In the United States, "On the Floor" made its chart debut on the Hot Dance Club Songs, at number twenty-six. -> source?
- US, U.S. -> inconsistent Done
- Billboard's Gary Trust reported that it was Lopez's best U.S. chart position as a lead artist since 2003's "All I Have" with LL Cool J, although she had appeared in the top-ten once since then, but as a featured artist on LL Cool J's 2006 single, "Control Myself". -> I'm a bit confused. Its debut position or peak? Needs a lot of explaining Done
- Billboard' Keith Caulfield -> s, also repetitive to the last one Done
- Island is over-linked
- "Lambada" single -> doesn't make sense Done
- It is the first single, in nearly three years, to debut in the top-ten of the Hot 100 and then climb up the chart in its second week. The last single to do so was "So What" by Pink in September 2008 -> Uny, I think you are going to far with these commas. They are meant to provide a break in the reading, why pause after "It is the first single"? Try reading it together, its much better. Also, these two sentences would sound better merged once the commas are removed Done
- On the magazine's editors -> ? Done
- attributed to Lopez's commercial comeback -> remove to Done
- He also noted that Lopez's appointment as a judge on American Idol is also linked to the growth in her popularity. -> noted - is -> tense issues Done
- By March 28, 2011, "On the Floor" reached number one on the Hot Dance Club Songs chart, becoming her third consecutive dance number-one hit from Love?, the first two being "Fresh Out the Oven" (with Pitbull) and "Louboutins" (2009). -> source should be here Done
- Counting all albums, Lopez has had five consecutive number ones on the Dance Club Songs chart and overall, "On the Floor" is her eighth U.S. Dance number-one. -> needs significant re-writing Done
- for the shipment of a million copies -> denoting shipments of one million copies
- performance of "On the Floor" took place on May 5,2011. As a result of the performance, -> repetitious Done
- the greatest digital gainer award -> I wouldn't call it an award
- ✗ Not done you might not, but Billboard does. Next to the chart listing Billboard refers to such feats as the Digital Gainer Award or if airplay the Bullet/Greatest Gainer Award that week. — Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 01:05, 14 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]
- You are missing the point. If you are going to write award, it needs to be quoted as its the exact title, not in your own words, which makes it sound as an actual award. And please, cut out the sarcasm.--CallMeNathan • Talk2Me 01:22, 14 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]
- Done, i've fixed the issue. I didn't quite understand what you meant as I've never encountered the Digital Gainer thing before but taking your comments on board I've changed it to "Digital Gainer" title as this more appropriate than award. Btw Nathan, I respect your opinion, I apologise if my response came across as sarcastic, that isn't what I meant at all. — Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 17:20, 14 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]
- "On the Floor" reached a new peak of number three on the Hot 100 and number five on the US Pop Songs chart. -> This is kind of thrown into the mix. Try merging Done
- Lopez's highest charting single commercial single Done
- This section alone says "Lopez" 27 times. Its way to repetitious. Check throughout article Done
- 2002's "Jenny from the Block" -> over-link and we know its date already Done
- US Hot 100 -> at this point we know the Hot 100 is the US Done
- present sales of the single stand in of 2,169,000 copies. Done
- International is not the right word. Its very much from the US perspective. If I live in Japan, the US is international. Any other ideas? Done
- "On the Floor" was successful -> Again, not for us to decide Done
- Slovakia Airplay -> Slovakian Done
- and is presently still in the top-three. -> This requires it to be changed eventually. It would be better as of Done
- remaining for four weeks -> there Done
- In both instances -> territories Done
- for selling at least 10,000 copies -> an issue I find throughout this section. Certifications are for shipments, not sales. Also, for those shipments, not "at least". I know you know this :) Done
- I find overall this section a bit biased. Its worded to pin point and exact on how everything is a feat, and how its such an accomplishment. Stick to the facts, and nothing more Done
- hehind Done
- countrym Done
- in the country, in the country Done
- "On the Floor Done
- Not necessary to repeat the countries twice in a sentence. Just writing "peaking at number respectively Done
- Overall the execution in this section needs a lot of work Done
- In neighbouring Italy -> we aren't in geography class Done
- before ascending to the summit where it would remain for four weeks. -> comma needed, I'll let you guess where :P Done
- though Spanish single "Qué Hiciste" reached number one in 2007. -> again, mentioning random facts about J.lo's single success, we already established we were talking about English-language singles
- In Sweden it is Lopez's first number one single, whereas in Switzerland it is her second, following 2007's "Qué Hiciste" -> extra Done
- Please check all this over-linking. Also, I feel like this article is a big catalog for all her older singles. We need not mention all their chart achievements
- ✗ Not done, don't feel like this is a significant issue, each section should be able to be read independently without needing to scroll to look for links due to the sheer size of the article. additionally it is important to note that Lopez's success with OTF needs to be put in the context of her not having had any kinda of similar success in nearly 10 years. — Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 23:08, 18 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]
- In neighbouring New Zealand -> again Done
- Elsewhere, in Ireland, -> this is problematic Done
- was added straight to the B-playlist -> You're making this seem like a big accomplishment Done
- third number-one single following "Love Don't Cost a Thing" (2001) and "Get Right" (2005). -> unnecessary
- The strong sales -> NPOV Done
- In its second week, Lopez broke another personal record when "On the Floor" remained at number one, becoming her only UK number-one to remain at the position for more than one week.[83] -> More career fluff Done
- over the weekend of January 22–23, 2011 -> dated Done
- with TAJ Stansberry as the director -> serving Done
- Pitbull will appear in the video. -> what kind of sentence is that? The tense? Done
- He commented on his approach to filming music videos for dance songs like "On the Floor". -> Pitbull didn't film the video Done
- He said "When you got these big, big house records or club records that are very global, I try to come in on what I was raised on, what I'm a fan of, which is just spitting hard." -> try to incorporate quotes into text, not just randomly paste them Done
- During the video shoot, Lopez spoke to MTV about the concept. She said -> avoid choppy reading Done
- The video makes use of product placement, including BMW, Swarovski and Crown Royal according to Tanner Stransky -> The video makes use of product placement, including BMW, Swarovski and Crown Royal, according to Tanner Stransky Done
- Lopez later confirmed, in an interview -> no comma needed Done
- Lopez said the idea behind giving fans the choice was to give them a chance to see what she experiences -> tense Done
- Which of the three was chosen? Done
- gold gladiator heels and a gold dress -> repetitious
- ✗ Not done if you read the sentence "gold gladiator heels and a dress" it implies that the heels are gold but not necessarily the dress.
- the arrival of Lopez -> Lopez's arrival Done
- she is putting on a pair -> This tense is not used in a synopsis Done
- as the camera switches to and descends from above, showing the club scene unfolding. -> Don't quite understand. Is she outside or in? Done
- Las Vegas-style crystal chandeliers hang from the ceiling. -> Seems like a sentence fragment Done
- Again, Lopez is repeated to often Done
- The scenes and Lopez were both styled to pay homage to her background as a professional dancer. Lopez said the video as "introducing people to a new J.Lo-ration of party people" -> revise and merge Done
- In one scene, she plays a dominant queen of the party who watches from above, on a balcony surrounded by servants. -> don't you think this description is a bit dramatic and over-done
- Lopez is styled -> she was styled Done
- "gold cardio barre". -> ." Done
- LA Times over-link Done
- According to the Los Angeles Times, she shakes her "money maker [(derrière)]." -> choppy reading Done
- Spliced in between these scenes, Lopez it is seen dressed in black harem pants and a bikini top, Lopez walks through the crowd to mount a circular stage on the Las Vegas-style dancefloor -> revise a bit. Lopez, Lopez Done
- "breaking it down 'fly-girl' style" (lower image). -> that image has been removed long ago Done
- was welcome with positive reception, -> welcomed Done
- positive reception, praising the expensive finish, arrangement, Lopez's sense of fashion and the overall execution. -> who is praising?
- Tanner Stransky said, the video brought -> This comma is really unnecessary Done
- the video brought together a flawless realness with an expensive set-up, something which are -> that is, which are is for multiple things (i only see one) Done
- Following the video's fulll premiere -> extra L Done
- Following the video's fulll premiere -> did the video semi-premiere? Done
- video, video Done
- Kyle Anderson from MTV's Newsroom agreed, commenting that the premiere of Lopez's video almost overshadowed the episode of American Idol in which it was shown -> thats a pretty basic and unspecific quote. I wouldn't say he agreed with a guy calling it sexy Done
- Emma Collins from Hollyscoop.com agreed that the video was fun and catchy -> The previous reviewer complimented her hair and the set, how are they similar? Done
- annoyed that "On the Floor" continues -> tense Done
- made specific reference -> made a Done
- particularly noting clever cross-promotion. -> its. Also, you could elaborate a bit on that Done
- clever cross-promotion. and applauding Lopez -> improper use of punctuation Done
- and applauding Lopez for moving on from her previous lack of commercial success in recent years: "these days, she's crushing it." -> again, more career fluff Done
- to her "day job" despite being everyone's "new favourite Idol judge." -> I'm guessing that implies dancing as her job? Not sure about this Done
- The sex appeal in the video for "On the Floor" was likened to that last displayed by Lopez in the video for 2002's "I'm Gonna Be Alright". -> unsourced, poor sente"Jennifer Lopez once told us in song that 'I’m Gonna Be Alright' and now she’s proved it... The curves she displayed when she recorded the hit video nine years ago have been replaced by a leaner, fitter look." -> nothing to do with "OTF" Done
- Rolling Stone magazine -> axe magazine
- My main concern is how there is absolutely no real mention of Lopez's "big" performance at Idol. There should be a live performance section with description, viewrship, reviews and commentary on the performance Done
- Now that I looked, you have one disemb link for "Love Don't Cost a Thing" Done
- 1 and 2 have linking issues
- 3 - why italics? why not linked?
- 5 seems poorly formatted
- 6 link
- 7 - look at 3
- 17 issues
- Please look through all references as similar issues persist throughout.
- Well Unique, you got a lot of work here, so take your time. If you need help, suggestions or explaining, feel free to ping me. I have watch-listed this page. Good luck! :)--CallMeNathan • Talk2Me 22:17, 7 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]
- Well, we are already two days past the allotted 7-day limit (9 days already) for fixes to be made. I appreciate the work and effort that has been made to correct said issues, but lets please try and have this done before the weekend.--CallMeNathan • Talk2Me 03:37, 16 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]
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