Talk:Pardosa pseudoannulata
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Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment
[edit]
This article was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment, between 15 September 2020 and 17 December 2020. Further details are available on the course page. Student editor(s): Keremyucebas.
Above undated message substituted from Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org assignment by PrimeBOT (talk) 02:06, 18 January 2022 (UTC)
Behavioral Ecology Student Comments
[edit]This article is really informative and interesting; I especially found the sections on sexual cannibalism to be really interesting and well-written. You also did a really great job in adding in hyperlinks to this article. I added a couple more hyperlinks in, and also made some grammatical and sentence structure edits, mostly in places where I thought the sentence structure was a bit confusing or could be worded differently to flow better. One suggestion I have is to make this article a bit more concise. There are multiple instances where you write "It is seen that..." before the sentence. In these cases, this phrase can be removed so that only the actual findings are stated. RenaBio472 (talk) 22:07, 26 November 2020 (UTC)
I definitely think that this article has a lot of important information and is well-researched. I think that expansion in certain sections such as the "Web"one would be very beneficial. a. I went through and added some hyperlinks where I felt appropriate and also removed some that were unnecessary such as a hyperlink for the word “web,” “agriculture,” or “rice.” I went through and changed some of the grammar errors that were present. I also changed some places where stuff like “studies have shown” were written to be more direct as this sort of wording is unnecessary for Wikipedia. I moved the "Abdomen size" section to the "Description" heading because that felt like a more appropriate spot for it. Finally, I changed some of the sentence structure because some of the sentences were hard to make sense of. I would rephrase the following two sentences because I struggled to understand what was being said:
"This feature is a motivational factor for males in terms of sexual cannibalism, as the male will parent all of the female’s offspring, making the paternal investment worthwhile." "As mate size dimorphism, the difference between the sizes of mates, increased, sexual cannibalism occurs more frequently." Kekaze (talk) 09:13, 1 December 2020 (UTC)
This is a well constructed and thorough article that needed few changes. I did make some minor grammatical adjustments, mainly to fix comma use, cut down on passive voice (ie. phrases like “seen to be”), and delete some unclear wording. There were several points, for example, where “they” or “its” were referring to the species, but, because of sentence order, this was not clear. There were also two identical sections with the heading abdomen size, one under the description section and the other in the diet section. As this section mainly referred to abdomen size in the context of prey capture success, I deleted the section under description. I also changed “display interesting courting” to “display unique courting” to make the description here slightly more objective. Stomatz (talk) 02:31, 2 December 2020 (UTC)