Talk:Pere Marquette Lumber Company/GA1
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Reviewer: Hog Farm (talk · contribs) 17:23, 18 April 2020 (UTC)
Criteria
[edit]1. Prose ✓ Pass
2. Verifiability ✓ Pass
3. Depth of Coverage ✓ Pass
4. Neutral ✓ Pass
5. Stable ✓ Pass
6. Illustrations ✓ Pass
7. Miscellaneous ✓ Pass
Comments
[edit]1.
- "The village lots were sold out to individuals and that became the core of a" - I don't think the word "that" is necessary
- Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 19:34, 18 April 2020 (UTC)
- Link Ludington (the city) in the first mention in the prose
- Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 19:42, 18 April 2020 (UTC)
- "In addition he owned a parcel" - Comma after addition
- Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 19:46, 18 April 2020 (UTC)
- Filer is a duplink
- Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 19:53, 18 April 2020 (UTC)
- Three consecutive sentences in the first paragraph of the structuring section begin with the same word, can this be varied?
- Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 09:38, 19 April 2020 (UTC)
- "The officers of the new company were Delos L. Filer as president, John Mason Loomis as treasurer, and L. H. Foster with James Ludington as secretaries." - Since the full names are given in the preceding sentence, Filer and Loomis can just be referred to by their last names for conciseness' sake.
- Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 19:53, 18 April 2020 (UTC)
- "The officers of the new company were Delos L. Filer as president, John Mason Loomis as treasurer, and L. H. Foster with James Ludington as secretaries." - Were L. H. Foster and Ludington both secretaries? If so, swap the and and the with. If not, L. H. Foster's title needs to be specifically stated and secretaries should be singular
- Done
- The company shouldn't be referred to as "they". They is a plural noun, and a company is a singular legal entity in the US, even if there are multiple officers.
- Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 09:58, 19 April 2020 (UTC)
- "left over lumber" - I think leftover is one word in this context
- Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 09:59, 19 April 2020 (UTC)
- Barrel (unit) is linked at the second instance, not the first. It should be linked at the first instance
2.
- Does Hanna have an ISBN or is the book from before the ISBN era?
- Done - it so happens that the local Ludington library had copy of the book. It did NOT have an ISBN. Published before that era. --Doug Coldwell (talk) 10:06, 19 April 2020 (UTC)
- Endash instead of the short dash in the page range for ref 11.
- Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 10:15, 19 April 2020 (UTC)
3.
- If there's any additional information about the effects of the company on the city of Ludington, it can be added to the Legacy section
4.
5.
6.
- Is there a specific reason that one caption is in large text? It looks a little out of place
- Done - fixed.--Doug Coldwell (talk) 20:09, 18 April 2020 (UTC)
- Do you think it'd be helpful to add a picture of Ludington?
- Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 20:08, 18 April 2020 (UTC)
- I was thinking more of the person, not the place. The section is mostly about James Ludington. Hog Farm (talk) 20:41, 18 April 2020 (UTC)
- Done changed to James Ludington. --Doug Coldwell (talk) 21:12, 18 April 2020 (UTC)
7.
- Lead could use some more information. For instance, the name of the founder, the dates active, and any important things that happened to the company should be mentioned
- Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 15:08, 19 April 2020 (UTC)
- Is the article expanded to a state that you feel like an infobox would be warranted? I have a personal bias towards infoboxes, so I'll leave this as a judgment call for you
- Done - added. --Doug Coldwell (talk) 21:00, 18 April 2020 (UTC)
- I think Background would be a better title for the History section, as the Structuring section is really the one about the company's history.
- Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 19:57, 18 April 2020 (UTC)
That's the first pass through, placing on hold. Hog Farm (talk) 19:00, 18 April 2020 (UTC)
- @Hog Farm: I have addressed all the issues. Can you take a look at it again. Thanks. --Doug Coldwell (talk) 15:08, 19 April 2020 (UTC)
- Looks good. I made a couple small tweaks to the infobox. Passing now. Hog Farm (talk) 18:59, 19 April 2020 (UTC)