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GA Review

[edit]

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Reviewer: Casliber (talk · contribs) 10:56, 5 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Right - let's get down to it. Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 10:56, 5 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]

  • All four paragraphs in the lead begin with "Pinnipeds..." - try and tweak so there is a maximum of three or better two doing this.
Fixed. LittleJerry (talk) 14:57, 5 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Hmm, I meant trying to use some other words - this is tricky and I wll have a go myself a bit later today. Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 20:45, 5 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Assisted by a friendly copyeditor. Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 10:48, 6 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • First impression of the lead is that it is succinct, but that the sentences may be a little on the short side, making for some slighlty stilted prose. Am looking for sentences to combine.
Better? LittleJerry (talk)
Let me read it again. Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 20:45, 5 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Update - damn - that is really really hard! (not to have each sentence start with seal/pinniped). I will ask someone. Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 01:11, 6 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • Throughout the prose, there are probably a few too many "pinnipeds" -any that can be removed without introducing ambiguity would help the prose
Better? LittleJerry (talk) 17:42, 5 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • Otariids are also known as eared seals due to the presence of external ear flaps or pinna. - "flaps" is plural while "pinna" is singular - choose one or the other....
Fixed. LittleJerry (talk) 14:57, 5 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • The majority of pinnipeds have fur coats... - if walrus only exception, then "Almost all pinnipeds have fur coats..." more accurate
Fixed. LittleJerry (talk) 14:57, 5 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • Ensure things like northern elephant seal are linked at first instance. There might be others.
Fixed. LittleJerry (talk) 15:14, 5 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • indigenous people exploited them for their meat, blubber and fur coats - "exploited" carries a negative connotation - I think "used" might be slightly better word here. Also put in passive tense maybe - to have the same subject for both verbs.
Fixed. LittleJerry (talk) 21:24, 5 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • Unlike other marine mammals, pinnipeds have two pairs of flippers on both the front and back, the fore-flippers and hind-flippers. - makes it sound like it has eight flippers momentarily - I'd reword this.
  • etymology not in body of text.
  • Pinnipeds spend many months at a time at sea and so they must sleep in the water. - sounds weird - either have "Pinnipeds spend many months at a time at sea, so they must sleep in the water. " or maybe "Pinnipeds spend many months at a time at sea and must sleep in the water. "
  • They are entirely absent from Indo-Malayan waters. (in body), doesn't totally agree with Although Pinnipeds occur in all oceans (in lead) to me
Fixed. LittleJerry (talk) 15:16, 6 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • The pinniped ear is well adapted for hearing underwater - can leave the "well" out....
  • In the Intelligence section, you have one pinniped's name in quote marks, the other not - conform them

Otherwise, this article is looking in good shape - I am reduced to real nit-picks prose-wise and I can't see any glaring omissions. Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 12:04, 6 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Replaced photos just to be safe. LittleJerry (talk) 22:35, 6 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]
That is a bit of a shame - the diagram was pretty good. Something to maybe look for sourcing for or ask the drawer. Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 22:43, 6 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]

1. Well written?:

Prose quality:
Manual of Style compliance:

2. Factually accurate and verifiable?:

References to sources: - will do a spotcheck a bit later today looks in order.
Citations to reliable sources, where required:
No original research:

3. Broad in coverage?:

Major aspects:
Focused:

4. Reflects a neutral point of view?:

Fair representation without bias:

5. Reasonably stable?

No edit wars, etc. (Vandalism does not count against GA):

6. Illustrated by images, when possible and appropriate?:

Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:
Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:


Overall:

Pass or Fail: - I wll do some spot checking a bit later today - but looking good Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 22:43, 6 September 2013 (UTC) looks in order. Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 14:44, 7 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]