Talk:Pitfalls/GA1

GA Review[edit]

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Reviewer: Lordtobi (talk · contribs) 10:08, 11 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]

It is a long way from meeting any one of the six good article criteria Y
It contains copyright violations Y (Earwig's says copyvio has a probability of 58.8% because Google Play is using the lede from your article. )
It has, or needs, cleanup banners that are unquestionably still valid Y
It is not stable due to edit warring on the page Y

~~They recruited a cellist, violinist, and classical choir for the production. – Does 'they' in this case refer to the group or the recording studio?~~
~~Most of the songs were written and composed by vocalist Einar Solberg. – Given the preceding sentence, it is not immediately clear that this is the group's vocalist, not any vocalist they hired.~~
~~Pitfalls charted higher than Malina (2017) – Consider mentioning that Malina was the previous album by Leprous.~~

~~... at Ghostward Studios in Stockholm, Sweden with ... – Add a trailing comma after 'Sweden'.~~
Thirteen were ultimately made, but only nine could be completed due to time constraints. – I suppose this should say "Thirteen songs". I would also clarify how far 'made' goes here, i.e. they began recording but could not do all recordings in time.

I like to avoid repetition. Both "recorded" and "songs" appear closely behind this sentence. "made" was the best word to describe the information without repetition. Cognissonance (talk) 17:12, 11 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Indeed, repetition should be avoided, but keep WP:ELEVAR in mind. "Thirteen" here could refer to any noun in the prior sentence; out of the given context, I initially assumed the "halves of the songs" were the ones they made. As for the word "made", I commonly associate it with completion. "planned" might be a suitable alternative. Lordtobi (✉) 18:43, 11 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]

~~He saw Pitfalls as the largest production and musical departure yet ... – Clarify here that it was the largest production for Leprous, not overall.~~
"I Lose Hope" was frowned upon in its infancy, but reached new potential in studio ... – This should probably say "in the studio".

"in studio" rings correct, like "in hospital". Cognissonance (talk) 17:12, 11 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Interesting. Grammarly marks this as incorrect and I cannot seem to find any online resources on the matter (even the source you cite uses both versions). But alas, this is not a GAN obstacle. Lordtobi (✉) 18:43, 11 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]

~~... at which point drummer Baard Kolstad and Børven applied – Consider swapping the names for a better flow.~~
~~A classical choir in Belgrade, Serbia was booked} – A trailing comma here also.~~

~~... as a limited mediabook CD with two bonus tracks, jewelcase CD, 2LP vinyl record ... – I would clarify both "CD"~~ and "2LP" here.

Not sure how to clarify 2LP. LP really just means vinyl record, so there's two of them, contrary to 1LP. Cognissonance (talk) 17:12, 11 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]

~~A link to LP record might be handy.~~ LPs are vinyls of a specific size and tend to differ from EPs and singles. Lordtobi (✉) 18:43, 11 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Mentioned Inside Out, but no need to add source. Cognissonance (talk) 17:12, 11 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Well, in this case there already were sources for this . Lordtobi (✉) 18:43, 11 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]

~~In the reviews table, I would use the more accurate "8.7" score from Blezt, rather than the star-ratings system.~~
Prog, PopMatters, Sputnikmusic, Ultimate Guitar, and drummer Mike Portnoy included ... – If Portnoy is mentioned to be a drummer, the other four entities should be classified as magazines to avoid ambiguity.
~~"Observe the Train" was viewed as a calming interval ... – Make sure that the reader is still aware that this is Araneda's opinion.~~

~~The commented-out refs (which assume are used to verify the track lengths) are probably not a good choice here. Considering adding them to the respective total lengths.~~
The table for the bonus tracks shows the total length of the entire album rather than only the sum of the two songs. Is this intentional/common practice?

I wondered that myself, but found that a featured article had done it that way. Cognissonance (talk) 17:12, 11 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]

If it works there, it'll also work here. Lordtobi (✉) 18:43, 11 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]

~~Ogendal is not mentioned before this point. I would add an in-line source for them as was done for other not-previously-noted entries. The commented-out ref is thereby redundant.~~

~~Same note as in the lead; mention briefly that Malina was their previous album to establish context.~~
~~Swap the two sources at the end of the sentence to obtain numerical order.~~

~~For accessibility, I would add |trans-title= params for non-English sources.~~

Used Google Translate. Adjust if you see something wrong with the German translations. Cognissonance (talk) 17:12, 11 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Google Translate is fine since we're only dealing with accessibility. Lordtobi (✉) 18:43, 11 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism):
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall:
Pass/Fail:

@Cognissonance: Incoming, my first GA review, so I hope I covered everything. Overall, the article is well-written and comprehensive, pretty much meeting all GA standards. I pointed out a few minor issues above. Once fixed, I'll be happy to promote the article to GA status. Regards, Lordtobi (✉) 10:08, 11 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]

@Lordtobi: I did almost everything and left some notes above. Cognissonance (talk) 17:12, 11 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks, I left additional replies in-line. Lordtobi (✉) 18:43, 11 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]

@Lordtobi: Finished with the rest. Really appreciate the review, which was perfectly done. You can ask for my help anytime. Cognissonance (talk) 19:03, 11 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]

In that case, I think we're done here. Cheers! Lordtobi (✉) 19:10, 11 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]