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Talk:Porpoise/GA1

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GA Review

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Reviewer: Cwmhiraeth (talk · contribs) 14:54, 3 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]

First reading

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I hesitated to take on this GA review because the article lacks polish, giving the impression it has been thrown together rather than being arranged rationally. So I think it needs a bit of work to get it to the required standard. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 15:39, 3 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]

  • In the lead it states "Several species exhibit sexual dimorphism" but in the Anatomy section it states "All species have female-biased sexual dimorphism".
Done
  • In Taxonomy section "Sllllouthern Hemisphere".
Done
  • "During the Miocene (23 to 5 Mya), mammals were fairly modern." - This needs further explanation.
Done
  • Wikilink "cetartiodactyls",
Done
  • It is usual when describing an animal to start at the head and progress towards the tail. In the Anatomy section, consider the order in which you provide the information.
Done
  • We need some citations for the sizes of different species of porpoise.
Done
  • "though those physical differences as small." - typo
Done
  • "This blubber can help with protection to some extent as predators would have a hard time getting through a thick layer of fat and energy for leaner times;" - either needs additional punctuation or separation into two sentences.
Done
  • "the primary usage for blubber is insulation from the harsh underwater climate." - If this is the main reason for having blubber, it should probably come first.
Done
  • The "Tinker" reference in "Locomotion" is about vertebrae. You need references for all the other bits of information earlier in the paragraph.
Done
  • "Porpoises have two flippers on the front, and a tail fin. These flippers contain four digits. Although porpoises do not possess fully developed hind limbs ..." - This is another instance of the facts being strung together in a non-logical order.
Fixed
  • "When swimming, porpoises rely on their tail fin propel them through the water. Flipper movement is continuous. Porpoises swim by moving their tail fin and lower body up and down, propelling themselves through vertical movement, while their flippers are mainly used for steering." - This is another example.
Fixed
  • "Some species log out of the water, which may allow then to travel faster, and sometimes they porpoise out of the water." - I know this is wikilinked, but it is pretty incomprehensible unless you click through.
Fixed
  • "Their skeletal anatomy allows them to be fast swimmers. They have a very well defined and triangular dorsal fin." - Perhaps this information should be in the Anatomy section. What is the structure of the dorsal fin?
Done
  • "Unlike their counterparts, they are adapted for coastal shores, bays, and estuaries." - What counterparts are we talking about here?
Done
  • "When porpoises surface, their lens and cornea correct the nearsightedness that results from the refraction of light; they contain both rod and cone cells ..." - It is not clear what "they" refers to.
Done
  • "...large amounts of light to pass through the eye and, therefore, a very clear image of the surrounding area." - Add "they are able to form" after therefore.
Done
  • "Porpoise vocalisation is likely to serve several purposes. One reason is for the use of their sonar that may generate up to 20,000 watts of sound and be heard for many miles." - These sentences are unclear.
Removed
  • I'm not sure why the bit about "whistles and clicks" is indented.
Fixed
  • Citation needed for the later part of the first paragraph in "Intelligence".
Done
  • "... in which a porpoise travelling at high speeds make long jumps out of the water or skim the surface." - Singular subject, plural verb.
Done
  • Citation needed for the later part of the last paragraph in "Intelligence".
Done
  • The life cycle section is not ordered logically. You need courtship before birth, mammary glands before feeding and weaning is in the wrong place.
You might want to check if I did it right
  • "In rare cases, alga, such as Ulva lactuca, are consumed." - "In rare cases, algae, such as Ulva lactuca, is consumed."
Done
  • "...grouping sandlance onto shore are common year-round." - What does "grouping" mean?
Fixed
  • References 7 (Reeves) and 36 (Wade Bunnel) need attention.
I fixed ref no. 36, but what's wrong with ref no. 7?
I went along and fixed it. There was no title for ref no. 7 which caused an error. You accidentally used "journal" instead of "title". Could you also provide a page number for it please. Burklemore1 (talk) 05:30, 7 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]

A few more comments

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  • The word "captivity" occurs three times in the first two sentences of the "In captivity" section.
I removed one; is that okay?
  • "Breeding success has always been poor with porpoises, which is mainly due to their isolation." - If porpoises are kept in isolation, breeding success is likely to be zero.
Fixed
  • The section "Drive hunting" has no references.
Fixed
  • "often polluted meat" - why would the meat be polluted?
Fixed
  • "(95% CI = 14, 93)" I don't understand these figures.
Another user added a bunch of opinionated (probably plagiarized) material, but I thought I got rid of all that stuff; I guess I didn't...
  • I have done quite a lot of copyediting, please alter anything I have got wrong.
  • The two middle paragraphs of the "Environmental hazards" section need serious rewriting.
That user again... Done
That user again... I haven't finished this one yet.

GA criteria

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  • A number of alterations have been made since this review started and I am satisfied that the article meets the style criteria and complies with MOS guidelines on prose and grammar, structure and layout.
  • The article uses many reliable third-party sources, and makes frequent citations to them. I do not believe it contains original research.
  • The article covers the main aspects of the subject and remains focussed.
  • The article is neutral.
  • The article is stable.
  • The images are relevant and have suitable captions, and are either in the public domain or properly licensed.
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