Talk:Pusher Love Girl/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: Robin (talk · contribs) 00:00, 9 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Initial review

Lead/Background and production

The lead needs to cover its critical reception, live performances, and chart performance.
to the love of his girl. --> to the love of his significant other, as it sounds more formal (just a suggestion).
Timberlake's manager Johnny Wright stated that although in the project were involved artists who are also primarily and Timberlake's friends it was tough keeping the album a secret, making them use codenames for the project --- This doesn't make sense.
- Done — Statυs (talk, contribs) 20:04, 19 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Composition/critical reception

Is 411mania a credible source?
These sections both follow the same template of author-of-publication. To keep the prose fresh, I suggest using formats that I've used at Gotta Be You (One Direction song)#Critical reception.
Using the word "wrote" is also a recurring trend in both sections. I suggest using words such as appreciate, favor, opine, describe, classify, commended, lauded, and credited.
Genevieve Koski of The A.V. Club called "Pusher Love Girl" the album's best track.[26] MSN Music's Robert Christgau also cited it as a highlight on the album. --- Could these sentences be merged. Also, did these reviewers say why they favoured the song?
The critical recep section needs to be formatted into 2 or 3 paragraphs.
- Done — Statυs (talk, contribs) 20:04, 19 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Live performances

He performed the song live at the 55th Annual Grammy Awards on February 11, 2013.[33] Timberlake performed the song on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon on March 12, 2013.[34] Timberlake performed the song at the SXSW MySpace Secret Show on March 17, 2013 ---- These sentences need to be merged. See, for example, how editors did so at Single_Ladies_(Put_a_Ring_on_It)#Live_performances's fifth sentence.
Unlink the 55th Annual Grammy Awards as well.
- Done — Statυs (talk, contribs) 20:04, 19 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Refs

Various refs have issues. As you're an experienced editor, I expect you to fix them without me telling you how.
Note; I don't care if you add publisher parameters, just follow one template for the entire article.
- Done — Statυs (talk, contribs) 20:04, 19 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Final examination

Lead

such as heroin, cocaine, plum wine, MDMA and nicotine, to the love of his significant other. --- this reads quite tedious. Does the lead really need to cite 5 narcotics?
"Pusher Love Girl" received generally positive reviews from contemporary music critics, many of which cited it as being the best song on The 20/20 Experience. Some critics, however, were critical of the song's length and it's lyrics. ---> 'many of which' should be changed to 'many of whom', because critics aren't which subjects.
Some critics, however, were critical of the song's length and it's lyrics ---- This sentence is grammatically incorrect. "It's", which means "it is", needs to be changed to "its".
Following the release of The 20/20 Experience, due to strong digital downloads, it appeared on the charts in South Korea, the United Kingdom and the United States. The song debuted on the singles chart in South Korea at number 15. It additionally peaked at number 64 on the US Billboard Hot 100 chart and at number 20 on the UK R&B Chart. ----> Change it to: Following the release of The 20/20 Experience, due to strong digital downloads, it reached number 15 on the South Korean singles chart, number 64 on the US Billboard Hot 100 chart, and at number 20 on the UK R&B Chart.
- Done — Statυs (talk, contribs) 20:03, 19 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
The lead doesn't cover its live performances. I asked for this in the beginning of the review.
- Whoops, Done — Statυs (talk, contribs) 20:54, 19 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Composition

411mania's Jeremy Thomas commented that the lyrics are not in the "tortured, emo-driven way that we might expect". --- Change to; the lyrics are not in the "tortured, emo-driven" context that listeners could expect.
- Done — Statυs (talk, contribs) 20:06, 19 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Are 411mania and Popdust reviews reputable works? If not, they need to go.
- Yes, they are. — Statυs (talk, contribs) 20:06, 19 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  - Okay. Robin (talk) 20:17, 19 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Vocal style

Since a person's vocals are considered an instrument, why is the 'Vocal style' section segregated from the composition section?
- Maybe composition should be changed then; that section is about the music of the song; the production. While vocal style is about his vocals. There's a significant amount of information for both. — Statυs (talk, contribs) 20:10, 19 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  - I suggest you do so. Robin (talk) 20:18, 19 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
'According to' is used too much. Consider playing with the sentences.
- Done. — Statυs (talk, contribs) 20:10, 19 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Critical response

Nick Krewen, writing for the The Star, responded negatively to the song, stating that "Pusher Love Girl" is a "dull dirge" of a song that "plods along at a midtempo slog lasting five minutes, before a false ending and equally dull coda drag our carcasses another 400 meters after its initial impact". ---- Change to; Nick Krewen, writing for the The Star, dismissed it is a "dull dirge" of a song that "plods along at a midtempo slog lasting five minutes, before a false ending and equally dull coda drag our carcasses another 400 meters after its initial impact".
Robert Copsey of Digital Spy wrote that "Pusher Love Girl" and "That Girl" begin "perky enough", but that is "hard to justify" their length when they "begin to feel repetitive after the first three and self-indulgent thereafter". ---- Omit the info on "That Girl". It kinda comes out of nowhere. Change the plural wording to singular.
- Done — Statυs (talk, contribs) 20:13, 19 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Live performances and covers

The section only cites one cover version, so rename it to 'Live performances and cover/cover version'
- Done — Statυs (talk, contribs) 20:16, 19 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
For his performance, like the scene in The Wizard of Oz "where things suddenly burst into Technicolor, the TV screen switched to vibrant hues as a curtain went up to reveal a full orchestra" ---- Why is this relevant? Maybe if you reword, make the wording more formal, I'll see the light. Its publication/author should be present.
- Removed — Statυs (talk, contribs) 20:16, 19 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Billboard ranked Timberlake's performance of "Pusher Love Girl" and "Suit & Tie" at the cerenomy as being the best performance of the night. ---- If the performance was a medley of the two songs, you should cite that at the 'Timberlake next performed the song live at the 55th Annual Grammy Awards on February 11, for which he received a standing ovation' sentence.
- It wasn't a medley. He performed "Suit & Tie" in full and then went into "Pusher Love Girl" in full as well. — Statυs (talk, contribs) 20:16, 19 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  - I thought it was a medley due to the singular wording. Robin (talk) 20:27, 19 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Refs

In various refs, the title parameter is messed up. Ref 8, for example, "Not a drop of hindsight on forward-looking '20/20' – Houston Chronicle" should be "Not a drop of hindsight on forward-looking '20/20'". Clean these up.
- Done — Statυs (talk, contribs) 20:19, 19 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Ref 26 - thestar.com should be written as The Star.
- Done — Statυs (talk, contribs) 20:19, 19 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
29 and 33 - Billboard and its publisher need to be delinked
- Why? You can either link them all, or just link its first appearance. — Statυs (talk, contribs) 20:19, 19 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  - Its first appearance is in reference 9. Which guideline states that it's appropriate to link them all? Robin (talk) 20:30, 19 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
    - I don't know where the location of talking about linking in refs is, but I was told at FLC before to "link all, or link once". — Statυs (talk, contribs) 21:28, 19 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
      - References can be linked: 1) In the first reference only or 2) Or in all references. That is a non-written guideline. — Tomíca^(T2ME) 21:33, 19 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
        Okay. Robin (talk) 21:38, 19 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
34 - MTV News' publisher is Viacom, not MTV Networks.
- Done — Statυs (talk, contribs) 20:19, 19 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Status

On hold.

Sorry for the late reply, it's exam week, so I've been pretty busy. I believe I have fixed all the issues but the refs, which I will do later today. Thanks for the review! — Statυs (talk, contribs) 16:19, 12 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
- Great. I'll give the article a final examination when you finish with the refs. Robin (talk) 18:06, 12 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Status, have you forgotten about the refs? Robin (talk) 22:02, 17 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Completely. I will fix them right now. — Statυs (talk, contribs) 22:31, 17 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

I think I've gotten them corrected now. — Statυs (talk, contribs) 22:39, 17 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

~~I'll have that once-over posted by the end of the week. Kinda busy. Robin (talk) 22:54, 17 June 2013 (UTC)~~[reply]

I've concluded the review. You have seven days. Robin (talk) 19:58, 19 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

I believe everything has been corrected.

— Statυs (talk, contribs) 20:19, 19 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Yes, all of them. Passing. Congrats Robin (talk) 21:41, 19 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.