Talk:Raya (Raya and the Last Dragon)/GA1

GA Review

Unsuccessful. — Chris Woodrich (talk) 19:41, 1 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Nominator: Fieryninja (talk · contribs) 17:11, 24 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: Crisco 1492 (talk · contribs) 14:05, 23 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Image review

File:Raya (character).png - This doesn't appear to be a screenshot, as per the FUR. I haven't actually cracked open my BluRay, but this looks like a render made available by Disney. If this is from the internet, a source link should be included.
File:Kelly Marie Tran on MTV International.jpg - Correctly licensed. May work better on the left of the screen.

Prose and comprehensiveness review

A lot of one-to-two sentence paragraphs and sections in #Appearances. Might be worth merging these into "Other appearances"
Cassie Steele was initially cast in the role until the character underwent changes and the filmmakers decided to find a different type of performer for Raya and replaced her with Tran. - A lot of detail for someone who wasn't cast. If you were to rework this, while including the previous sentence, it should read better.
English variant is not consistent (for instance, I see both ize and ise spellings). As an American film, I'd expect American English to be used.
Producer Osnat Shurer said that this arose organically by sitting together and discussing the story. - Perhaps "Producer Osnat Shurer said that this arose organically as the team were sitting together and discussing the story."? A sit-down discussion isn't necessarily organic.
including "a history of powerful women" - Does he mention any of them?
Rather than drawing ideas from one specific place for creating the fictional land of Kumandra, the team took inspiration from many cultural influences across the countries of Southeast Asia. - this feels like overkill, given that the entire paragraph has been saying this in different ways
According to Walt Disney Animation Studios, the replacement was made out of a need to have a different type of performer. - This is a corporate non-answer. Shurer's answer is a bit clearer, but ideally we should be able to say why she was wrong for the part.
López Estrada and Hall were stunned by her audition and knew that she was perfect for the role. - Then why wasn't Tran cast?
After improvising one of the scenes, the filmmakers decided to change it to match her performance due to being so impressed by her interpretation, which López Estrada said "had us all in tears". - This reads as though the filmmakers were improvising, which is not what you intend
Watch for curly quotes - they aren't allowed under the MOS, even in references.
She felt that she had previously viewed the world through rose-coloured glasses - This idiom doesn't seem to be used correctly; Rosy retrospection is retrospection, i.e., reflecting on the past... and as mentioned in the article, Tran's earlier Disney movie had some negative consequences. A more encyclopedic paraphrasing should help address this issue.
Discussion of Fa Mulan is conspicuously absent in discussion of Raya and the desire to have an Asian Disney princess. Did the sources ignore her?
Disney Princess film - not a genre, and we've just finished discussing how Raya became a Disney princess. Might be worth finding a different phrasing
Hong Kong action films - Definitely good to link this on first mention
that in Malay language it means "celebration" - I realize that this is what the source says, but the word "Raya" in Malay languages is a lot broader than just "celebration" (he seems to be referring to its usage in hari raya, i.e. Eid, rather than its usage in other contexts. Probably worth a gloss to Wiktionary.
Raya is an 18-year-old girl who has physical strength but guards her emotions following the trauma of losing her family in childhood. - To ensure this is clearly framed as fiction, perhaps "Raya is depicted as"
Pencak silat is not a proper noun, and thus the p should be lower case
Overall, review which words have been incorporated into English and which will need to be italicized as loan words. For example, sabai, dhoti, pencak silat, etc.
Chief Benja invites the Tail, Talon, Spine, and Fang lands to join in a feast. - It's not the lands eating, it's representatives of their people. Should be reworked.

Source review

Per MOS:REF, citations should be consistent. Consequently, please review to ensure that the capitalization of sources and the rendering of dates is consistent; right now, the references are all over the place.
Numerous references are missing elements found elsewhere. For example, Ref 30 doesn't have an access date, whereas almost all of your references do.
Not a GA criterion, but archiving online references should help future-proof this article.

Spotchecks

[1]

a. - Supported

b. - Supported

c. - Supported

[10] - Supported
[21] - Supported

Paraphrasing is problematic. According to Earwig, there is a 72.7% chance of copyvio, and reviewing it I'm seeing a few sentences are not covered as direct quotations or under WP:LIMITED. This will need work.

Conclusion

The article has merits, but I have some concerns about the sourcing and paraphrasing. — Chris Woodrich (talk) 16:52, 23 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

I see that the nominator has been inactive for almost a month. There are too many issues for me to feel comfortable passing this article in its current state. I am thereby closing this nomination as unsuccessful. — Chris Woodrich (talk) 19:41, 1 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.