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Talk:Silver Bullet (Knott's Berry Farm)/GA1

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Reviewer: Themeparkgc (talk · contribs) 07:56, 22 May 2013 (UTC) GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria[reply]

  1. Is it reasonably well written?
    A. Prose quality:
    B. MoS compliance for lead, layout, words to watch, fiction, and lists:
  2. Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
    A. Has an appropriate reference section:
    B. Citation to reliable sources where necessary:
    C. No original research:
  3. Is it broad in its coverage?
    A. Major aspects:
    B. Focused:
  4. Is it neutral?
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. Is it stable?
    No edit wars, etc:
  6. Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
    A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content:
    B. Images are provided if possible and are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:
  7. Overall:
    Pass or Fail:
    I have passed the article. Themeparkgc  Talk  01:03, 25 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

[edit]
History
  • You haven't introduced who Cedar Fair is
Fixed.--Dom497 (talk) 01:51, 23 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • Was the announcement really on December 1. Seems Coaster-Net had all the details in November. Might be worth checking out.
Couldn't find anything that states it was announced in either November or December other than the source you stated and the RCDB press release. Could the Coaster-Net article just have been leaked info?--Dom497 (talk) 01:53, 23 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
That might've been the case. Leave it as December then. Themeparkgc  Talk  09:15, 23 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • History section seems a bit sparse. Here are some ideas:
  • Preparations were underway in September 2003 [1]
Added--Dom497 (talk) 11:19, 23 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • Any other relevant information from the ride's announcement? One thing I found was it was set to open on Christmas Eve 2004. ("In Brief: Parks & Attractions". Amusement Business. 115 (50): 7. 15 December 2003.)
Don't take this the wrong way, but am I just supposed to believe you (which I do) as I can't find it on the internet?--Dom497 (talk) 01:57, 23 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Do you happen to be a member of the Toronto Public Library? If not, based on the information in your userpage I presume you could get a free membership. With a library card, you should be able to do a search for Amusement Business and access copies of it online. Here's a direct link to one of the articles which should work provided you have a membership login. I access Amusement Business through a similar proxy hosted by my local library. If not, feel free to believe me ;) (though, of course, only use the citations for information which I have directly said is included). Themeparkgc  Talk  09:15, 23 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Added.--Dom497 (talk) 11:16, 23 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • It was part of a wider $85 million investment in Cedar Fair parks ("Parks in bloom: Will business blossom?". Amusement Business. 117 (4): 6,24. 2005. {{cite journal}}: Unknown parameter |month= ignored (help))
See above.--Dom497 (talk) 01:57, 23 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Done.--Dom497 (talk) 11:16, 23 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • Any more information about construction? [2]
Added.--Dom497 (talk) 02:00, 23 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • It was the fourth ride Knott's added in 2004 [3] [4]
Added.--Dom497 (talk) 21:11, 23 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • Is the fact that a newly-married couple rode the ride really notable?
Removed.--Dom497 (talk) 00:45, 23 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Sixty seats were made available though only 13 seats were bidded on." --> "Although sixty seats were made available, only 13 of these received bids."
Fixed.--Dom497 (talk) 00:57, 23 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • I'd also consider chronologically merging the information about the first rider auction into the main part of the history section.
Merged.--Dom497 (talk) 11:17, 23 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Ride experience
  • "two corkscrew's" --> "two corkscrews"
Fixed.--Dom497 (talk) 00:57, 23 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "After the corkscrew, the train makes a banked left turn before going through the second corkscrew." - this sounds a little odd, maybe: "A banked left turn separates the two corkscrews."
Fixed.--Dom497 (talk) 21:12, 23 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "long, the" --> "long, and the"
Fixed.--Dom497 (talk) 00:57, 23 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "It was manufactured by Clermont Steel Fabricators located in Batavia, Ohio who manufactures Bolliger & Mabillard's roller coasters." --> "Silver Bullet, along with all of Bolliger & Mabillard's other roller coasters, was manufactured by Clermont Steel Fabricators located in Batavia, Ohio"
Fixed.--Dom497 (talk) 00:57, 23 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The colour of the lift and supports of the lift are red while after the pre-drop, the track is yellow with red rails with the supports coloured white." --> "The track and supports of the lift hill are red, with the remaining track being yellow with red rails and the remaining supports colored white."
Fixed.--Dom497 (talk) 00:57, 23 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "lasts about two minutes" --> "lasts approximately two minutes"
Fixed.--Dom497 (talk) 00:57, 23 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "in a single row for a total" --> "in a single row, for a total"
Fixed.--Dom497 (talk) 00:57, 23 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The supports for the seats and the seats themselves are a light blue, the over-the-shoulder restraints are red, and the coverings for the wheels are red." --> "The seats are coloured light blue, while the over-the-shoulder restraints and the coverings for the wheels are red."
Fixed.--Dom497 (talk) 00:57, 23 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
In popular culture
  • You shouldn't be citing copyright violations on YouTube
See below.--Dom497 (talk) 01:50, 23 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • Unfortunately, if you address the above item, this will become mostly unsourced and it will probably have to be removed unless another source could be found for the information
Should I just remove the entire section then?--Dom497 (talk) 01:50, 23 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
That's probably the only course of action unless there are other sources (not IMDb) out there. Themeparkgc  Talk  09:15, 23 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Section removed.--Dom497 (talk) 11:18, 23 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • If you really think the McGraw-Hill book is worth including, you could link to the publisher in the prose. Additionally you could be a bit more specific -- McGraw-Hill have a lot of text books.
Removed.--Dom497 (talk) 00:57, 23 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Awards
  • This should really be a "Reception" section rather than a section with just a table and no context
See 2 points below.--Dom497 (talk) 11:25, 23 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • I'd also add some prose to lead in to the information in the table, highlighting some important points (e.g. debut year, peak position etc)
Added.--Dom497 (talk) 11:25, 23 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • There's a pretty good review in Amusement Business (Taylor, Joel (2005). "Silver Bullet". Amusement Business. 117 (3): 38. {{cite journal}}: Unknown parameter |month= ignored (help))
How am I supposed to access that (can't seem to find it on the net)?--Dom497 (talk) 01:47, 23 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
See above. Themeparkgc  Talk  09:15, 23 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
I won't be able to access that review.--Dom497 (talk) 11:20, 23 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
So I take it you aren't a member of that library and can't access any of those sources? Here are some quotes you could use (note: you don't have to use them all):
  • "In all, it's an exhilarating 2 1⁄2 minutes from start to finish."
  • "Here's more high praise: After a second ride, my usually iron-clad stomach was begging for mercy."
  • "One of the most impressive qualities of Silver Bullet is its smoothness."
  • "Manages double-barrel feat of being smooth and comfortable while delivering twisting, stomach-churning excitement."
Themeparkgc  Talk  04:50, 24 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Can you take a look at the second quote I added in the article. I doesn't sound right but I don't know how to re-word it as I don't really know what the beginning even means.--Dom497 (talk) 19:26, 24 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
How about: He was also impressed with the ride's smoothness and overall excitement, stating that the ride is "smooth and comfortable while delivering twisting, stomach-churning excitement."  ? Themeparkgc  Talk  23:01, 24 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Done.--Dom497 (talk) 23:20, 24 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • Any other reviews?
Can't seem to find any others.--Dom497 (talk) 01:47, 23 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • Did Knott's state their performance improved after adding the ride?
Nope.--Dom497 (talk) 01:15, 23 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
References
  • "Ultimate Roller Coaster" --> "Ultimate Rollercoaster"
Fixed.--Dom497 (talk) 00:57, 23 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "wwwCOASTERFORCEcom" --> "Coaster Force"
Fixed.--Dom497 (talk) 00:57, 23 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • Ref 12 has inaccurate title
What else am I supposed to put?--Dom497 (talk) 00:57, 23 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Silver Bullet, Knott's Berry Farm {{!}} Picture Gallery Themeparkgc  Talk  09:15, 23 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Fixed.--Dom497 (talk) 11:30, 23 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • NewsPlusNotes is not a reliable source
I swear I've discussed this somewhere but that interview is pretty famous (in a way) and I'm sure they didn't make that up. Either way, there's the other source that mentions the same thing. If you really want it removed I'll take it out.--Dom497 (talk) 00:57, 23 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Two options I guess. The first is remove it – the other source seems to cover this content anyway. The second is to change it to cite interview and remove the blogspot reference. (Miller, Ken (2008). "Getting On Track With B&M" (Interview). Interviewed by Scott and Carol Holmes. {{cite interview}}: Unknown parameter |city= ignored (|location= suggested) (help); Unknown parameter |month= ignored (help)) Themeparkgc  Talk  09:15, 23 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Done.--Dom497 (talk) 18:38, 23 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "BestRollerCoasterPoll.com" --> "Best Roller Coaster Poll"
Fixed.--Dom497 (talk) 00:57, 23 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • You could also add Mitch Hawker's name to the reference (|first=Mitch|last=Hawker)
Added.--Dom497 (talk) 00:57, 23 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Miscellaneous
  • "$16,000,000 USD" --> "US$16,000,000" or "US$16 million"
Fixed.--Dom497 (talk) 01:01, 23 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "just before the final helix" - seems like this is unnecessarily tacked on as a helix isn't an inversion.
Fixed.--Dom497 (talk) 01:01, 23 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • no mention of the ride's:
  • western theme, as mentioned in various sources including [5] and the "In Brief" Amusement Business article
Done.--Dom497 (talk) 21:18, 23 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • themed area in the prose (again, "In Brief" Amusement Business article mentions this)
Is it Fiesta Village or Indian Trails?--Dom497 (talk) 21:18, 23 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
A quote from that article: "The $16 million, western-themed Bolliger & Mabillard inverted coaster will board from Ghost Town and will run into the Fiesta Village and Indian Trails" Themeparkgc  Talk  04:50, 24 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Added.--Dom497 (talk) 19:09, 24 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

The article will be on hold for 7 days to allow these items to be resolved. Themeparkgc  Talk  07:56, 22 May 2013 (UTC) Edited Themeparkgc  Talk  22:54, 22 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

How do you find all this stuff (TELL ME!!!! :p ) --Dom497 (talk) 02:00, 23 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
For most stuff from the 1990s through to 2006, there'd most likely be an article in Amusement Business. If not, Park World Magazine might have something. Ultimate Rollercoaster has some good articles for stuff that happened in the early 2000s – constraining a Google search by website helps there. The same sort of Google searches could be done for local newspapers/stations. Themeparkgc  Talk  04:50, 24 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

And, a few more items with the recent additions:

  • "western themed" --> "western-themed"
Fixed.--Dom497 (talk) 19:06, 24 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "carry's" --> "carries"
Fixed.--Dom497 (talk) 19:06, 24 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Since Silver Bullet's debut in 2004, it has managed to place in the one hundred spots in the Mitch Hawker's Best Roller Steel Coaster Poll excluding 2010 where it placed in 99th and in 2011 where the poll was not held." --> "Since Silver Bullet's debut in 2004, it has consistently been ranked in the top 140 positions in Mitch Hawker's Best Roller Steel Coaster Poll. It peaked at position 99 in 2010."
Fixed.--Dom497 (talk) 19:06, 24 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Themeparkgc  Talk  04:50, 24 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Sorry, but a couple more things I've just noticed on a final pass through the article:

Fixed.--Dom497 (talk) 23:08, 24 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • link "amusement park" in the lead
Fixed.--Dom497 (talk) 23:06, 24 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • What's a wingover? You should be consistent with the terminology and stick with corkscrew.
Fixed.--Dom497 (talk) 23:06, 24 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "carryies" --> "carries"
Didn't I already do this? There is only 1 "carry" in the article. :P --Dom497 (talk) 23:06, 24 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
There is no "y" in the plural. I've fixed it. Themeparkgc  Talk  01:03, 25 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "three of the parks" --> "three of the park's"
Fixed.--Dom497 (talk) 23:06, 24 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Themeparkgc  Talk  23:01, 24 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

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