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Talk:Slow Dancing (Aly & AJ song)/GA1

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GA Review

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Reviewing

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Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 05:56, 21 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]


Good Article review progress box
Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV ()
3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant ()
Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed

I will conduct this review today! --K. Peake 05:56, 21 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Infobox and lead

[edit]
  • The writing/production sentence should be the second of the para instead; follow this by the first four sentences of the second para moved here since they should come before the actual release date
  • "Ryan Spraker and Yves Rothman," → "Ryan Spraker, and Yves Rothman,"
  • "also producing the track." → "also handling the production."
  • In the new order, the comp and lyrics parts should start the second para
  • ""Slow Dancing" was originally envisioned" → "It was originally envisioned"
  • "re-wrote it into a" → "re-wrote it as a"
  • "updating its lyrics to" → "updating the lyrics to"
  • ""Slow Dancing" was originally" → "the song was originally"
  • "they found its soft," → "they found the soft,"
  • ""Slow Dancing" was positively received by critics" → "The song received positive reviews from critics"
  • "isolation and longing as" → "isolation, and longing as"
  • "A music video directed by Aly's husband Stephen Ringer" → "A music video for the song directed by Stephen Ringer"
  • "A Touch of the Beat Tour beginning in" → "A Touch of the Beat Tour, beginning in"

Writing and recording

[edit]
  • "Ryan Spraker and Yves Rothman,[1][2] while Rothman produced" → "Ryan Spraker, and Yves Rothman,[1][2] while Rothman also produced"
  • [9] should only be invoked once in the sentence
  • "but they did not complete its lyrics" → "but did not complete the lyrics"
  • "its subject matter and" → "the subject matter and"
  • Done.
  • "AJ admits that" → "AJ admitted that"
  • "during which they" → "during which the duo"
  • "Rothman agreed that they" → "Rothman agreed that Aly & AJ"
  • "where it was impossible for listeners to envision anything" → "where listeners would not envision anything"
  • [8] should solely be invoked at the end of the sentence
  • "completed for the album." → "completed for A Touch of the Beat Gets You Up on Your Feet Gets You Out and Then Into the Sun."
  • "include Sylvain Carton on saxophone;" → "included Sylvain Carton on saxophone;" with the wikilink
  • "cello and organ;" → "cello, and organ;"
  • "of summer evenings spent" → "of summer nights spent"

Release

[edit]
  • This should be the section after music and lyrics
  • Remove wikilink on studio album
  • Remove commas around Jared Rosenberg
  • "AJ argues that TikTok exposure" → "AJ argued that the TikTok exposure"
  • "instead claiming they" → "instead asserting the duo"
  • "and hoped the song" → "and he hoped the song"
  • "AJ insists they were not" → "AJ insisted they were not"
  • Remove or replace Gaudie per WP:RSSM
  • "The duo credits fans' response" → "The duo credited fans' response"
  • "James McAlister and The She-J" → "James McAlister, and the She-J" per MOS:THEMUSIC

Music and lyrics

[edit]
  • Remove wikilinks on "Attack of Panic" and "Joan of Arc on the Dance Floor"
  • "observed that the band's" → "observed that Aly & AJ's"
  • Remove or replace The Crimson White per WP:RSSM
  • "with a simple guitar riff" → "with a guitar riff"
  • Remove or replace CommRadio per WP:RSSM
  • "cello and saxophone." → "cello, and saxophone."
  • Introduce Thomas Bleach here
  • Remove or replace Pipe Dream per WP:RSSM
  • "while other critics have likened" → "Certain critics have likened"
  • Fixed.
  • Remove or replace The Independent Florida Alligator per WP:RSSM
  • "the chorus admitting" → "the chorus admitting," with the pipe
  • "The song's pre-chorus reads" → "The song's pre-chorus is repeated"
  • Remove pipe on COVID-19 social distancing
  • "with Forty5 Presents dubbing it" → "with the staff of Forty5 Presents dubbing it"
  • "The Alternative Press's Augusta Battoclette" → "Alternative Press's Augusta Battoclette" with the pipe

Reception

[edit]
  • Any thematic order for the reviews here, i.e what they focused on?
  • "said it possesses a" → "said the song possesses a"
  • Remove or replace Pipe Dream per WP:RSSM
  • Removed.
  • "both AJ and Aly's vocal performances, Maggiore said" → "Aly & AJ's vocal performance, Maggiore said,"
  • "music critic Thomas Bleach felt the song perfectly demonstrates the band's" → "Bleach felt the song perfectly demonstrates the duo's"
  • Remove or replace The Hoya per WP:RSSM
  • "while Sweety High's Taylor Augustin" → "whereas Sweety High's Taylor Augustin"
  • Remove or replace Benedetto per WP:RSSM
  • "said the artists" → "said Aly & AJ"
  • "of its lyrical weight" → "of the lyrical weight"
  • Remove pipe on Alternative Press
  • "Writing for the Alternative Press, Augusta Battoclette likened" → "Writing for Alternative Press, Battoclette likened"
  • Remove or replace The Daily Californian per WP:RSSM
  • "one of the album's three best tracks." → "one of the three best tracks on A Touch of the Beat Gets You Up on Your Feet Gets You Out and Then Into the Sun."
  • "Ineye Komonibo of Refinery29 included" → "Komonibo of Refinery29 included"

Music video

[edit]
  • "Directed, edited and produced" → "Directed, edited, and produced"
  • "The sisters credit" → "The sisters credited"
  • "which in turn distinguishes" → "which in turn distinguished"
  • Are you sure "as time passes" is useful at the end?

Live performances

[edit]
  • Remove wikilink on TikTok
  • "New Years Eve celebration." → "New Year's Eve celebration." with the wikilink
  • "the duo performed "Slow Dancing" on" → "they performed "Slow Dancing" on"
  • Fixed.
  • Remove or replace The Lantern per WP:RSSM

Credits and personnel

[edit]
  • Use {{spaced ndash}} so there is the right space between credits and personnel

References

[edit]
  • Copyvio score looks too high at 46.2%; cut down overquoting to fix this
  • Make sure all of these are archived by using fix dead links
  • Cite Broadcast Music, Inc. as publisher instead on ref 2
  • Remove or replace ref 3 per WP:SELFPUB
  • Cite Jaxsta as publisher instead on ref 4
  • See WP:RSP for why I am in the middle about refs 5 and 57, also fix MOS:QWQ issues with these either way
  • Cite Apple Music as publisher instead on refs 6, 31 and 43, also only wikilink on the first instance
  • Fix MOS:QWQ issues with ref 8, also what makes it and ref 70 a reliable source?
  • Cite iHeartRadio as publisher instead on ref 13
  • Cite MTV Australia as publisher instead on ref 14 and pipe to MTV (Australian and New Zealand TV channel)
  • Fix MOS:QWQ issues with refs 15, 29 and 59
  • Cite Amazon as publisher instead on ref 17
  • WP:OVERLINK of Paper on ref 19
  • WP:OVERLINK of Google Translate on ref 20 and pipe GQ Russia to GQ
  • What makes ref 21 a reliable source?
  • Remove or replace ref 24 per WP:RSSM
  • Remove or replace ref 25 per it being a gossip site
  • Remove or replace ref 27 per WP:RSSM
  • Remove or replace ref 32 per above
  • Fix MOS:CAPS issues with ref 33 and what makes it reliable exactly?
  • Remove or replace ref 34 per WP:RSSM
  • Cite Refinery29 as publisher instead on ref 35
  • WP:OVERLINK of Google Translate on refs 36 and 41, also the last name should be cited followed by first plus middle
  • Remove or replace ref 37 WP:RSDISCOGS
  • WP:OVERLINK of Billboard on ref 38
  • Remove or replace ref 39 since that was founded by a YouTube user and has no staff
  • Remove or replace ref 40 per WP:SELFPUB
  • Remove or replace ref 42 per WP:RSSM
  • Remove or replace ref 44 per WP:RSP
  • What exactly makes ref 46 a reliable source?
  • Remove or replace ref 47 per WP:RSSM
  • Remove or replace ref 53 per above
  • Pipe StyleCaster to SHE Media on ref 55
  • Fix MOS:QWQ issues with ref 56 and cite Idolator as publisher instead
  • Cite Audacy as publisher instead on ref 61
  • I'm not sure about ref 62 since it seems like a gossip website; what constitutes reliability?
  • Cite Young Hollywood as publisher instead on ref 63
  • Remove or replace ref 64 per WP:RSSM
  • Cite WKNC-FM as publisher instead on ref 65 and fix MOS:QWQ issues
  • Remove or replace ref 66 since that has an editorial team of merely two
  • Remove or replace ref 68 per WP:SELFPUB since that looks similar to Medium
  • Cite WERS as publisher instead on ref 69
  • Remove or replace ref 71 per WP:RSSM
  • I don't see much an editorial team for ref 72, so what exactly makes it reliable?
  • Remove or replace ref 73 per WP:RSSM
  • Remove or replace ref 76 per above
  • Cite ABC News as publisher instead on ref 77
  • Remove or replace ref 79 per WP:RSSM
  • WP:OVERLINK of Us Weekly on ref 80

Final comments and verdict

[edit]
  • Hi K. Peake; please be advised that I have decided to withdraw my GA nomination of this article, due to the amount of sources you've deemed unreliable. Unfortunately I am struggling to find the time to replace/correct them within a reasonable timeframe; perhaps I will revisit at a future date. Apologies for wasting your time.--Changedforbetter (talk) 15:28, 5 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]
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