Talk:The Hall of Egress/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Courcelles (talk · contribs) 19:03, 23 April 2018 (UTC)

• "The episode was written and storyboarded by Tom Herpich, from head writer Kent Osborne, Jack Pendarvis, Ashly Burch, and Herpich." from what? It feels like a word is missing here.

• You're right. I was missing "a story by".--Gen. Quon (Talk) 19:40, 23 April 2018 (UTC)

• "Finn and Jake set out to found a dungeon" Found? As in to start a dungeon?

• That was a typo; I fixed it and rewrote the following sentence to make it all flow better.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 19:40, 23 April 2018 (UTC)

• Ref 8 appears not to be an RS. Got another source for this "business practice"? (NB:In reality PT Barnum never did half the stuff he's alleged to have done, making me wonder if this too is apocryphal.

• Good point. I've replaced it with a dictionary entry hosted by the Cornell Law School. Would that be OK?--Gen. Quon (Talk) 19:40, 23 April 2018 (UTC)

• Much better. Courcelles (talk) 19:42, 23 April 2018 (UTC)

• What won the Emmy that year?

• How does that look?--Gen. Quon (Talk) 19:43, 23 April 2018 (UTC)

• "The episode, which debuted on March 5, 2016 on Cartoon Network." is a sentence fragment. Courcelles (talk) 19:43, 23 April 2018 (UTC)

• I have corrected this.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 19:44, 23 April 2018 (UTC)

That's all I've got. Courcelles (talk) 19:09, 23 April 2018 (UTC)

@Courcelles: How does these changes look?--Gen. Quon (Talk) 19:44, 23 April 2018 (UTC)

• Looks good. Promoting. Courcelles (talk) 19:48, 23 April 2018 (UTC)