Talk:Tropical Storm Podul (2013)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Cloudchased (talk · contribs) 20:55, 21 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

I'll be taking this one. Looks good :) Cloudchased (talk) 20:55, 21 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Generally, the prose is pretty clear and has few issues, and I don't have any ref nitpicks for once. :p Even so, there's still a few spots that could be clarified:

"After crossing the Philippines, the depression intensified into Tropical Storm Podul on November 14." Was it designated at this time or did it intensify into a TS? Or both?

The JMA had designated it as a TD several days prior. It became a TS and was named Podul at the same time. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 21:39, 21 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

"the circulation" → "its circulation"?

K. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 21:39, 21 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

"Podul killed 42 people in the country and caused 74 injuries." You could compact this slightly into "Podul killed 42 people and injured 74 others in the country" or something along these lines.

They're the same number of words, and yours is just one character shorter. That's a bit too minor to consider "compacting", and I'll keep it as is if that's alright :P ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 21:39, 21 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

"On November 9, an area of disorganized convection, or thunderstorms, persisted" – wait, persisted? Then where did they come from? Word choice issues, methinks.

Not quite. The JTWC clearly said the convection persisted. They don't say where it came from, but for what it's worth, convection often forms throughout the earth fairly randomly, sometimes simply due to the interaction between warm water and cooler atmosphere. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 21:39, 21 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Links should generally include the abbreviations (e.g. Joint Typhoon Warning Center (JTWC)) per the MoS. No, really.

Can you link to the part of the MOS that mandates this? I've always done it differently. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 21:39, 21 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

"[PAGASA] initiated advisories on Tropical Depression Zoraida, after the system entered the area of responsibility of the agency." → "after the system entered its area of responsibility." Scratch the commas, make it simple to read, please. :P

I like it! ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 21:39, 21 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

"... although operationally the agency had classified the system two days prior." – er, could you explain what this means?

What part are you confused about? The word "operationally"? Or that the JMA first started issuing two days before they said a TD developed in the BT? ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 21:39, 21 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

"the convection became less organized" → "its convection became less organized"

K. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 21:39, 21 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

"declaring that the depression degenerated" → "declaring that the depression had degenerated"?

May I ask why the additional word is necessary? ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 21:39, 21 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

"crossed over Palawan island and into the South China Sea" – if the area beyond Palawan island is the SCS, then the "and" isn't necessitated.

Right you are! ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 21:39, 21 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

"the convection had rapidly increased" → "that convection had rapidly increased"; just an opinion.

Like it! ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 21:39, 21 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

"but warm water temperatures and moderate outflow were expected to allow intensification." I feel like this part needs more emphasis, as well; maybe add an "even so" to indicate that the conditions were generally favorable despite the wind shear?

Changed "but" to "although" - better? ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 21:39, 21 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

"10–minute" ... "1–minute" – oi, use a hyphen. Dashes aren't dashing in this place... see the MoS.

You sure? I used that for a recent season FA, and there were no objections. 1 minute seems like it's referring to a duration of time, not as a description to the winds. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 21:39, 21 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

"the latter agency only estimating tropical depression-force winds" is redundant; merge that part with the JTWC info, please.

K. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 21:39, 21 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

"For Palau and nearby Yap island, the Guam National Weather Service warned of the potential of heavy rainfall and high surf." Flip this sentence around to start with the GNWS part. ;)

K. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 21:39, 21 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

"After the extreme damage from Typhoon Haiyan that struck the Philippines" – extreme damage struck the Philippines? Wording, please.

Switched. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 21:39, 21 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

"which affected rescue work" – nitpick, but how so?

The source didn't really say. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 21:39, 21 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

"including 1,400 the resort town" – I think you might have forgotten a word or two here...

Nope. I mentioned the total number of people forced to evacuate, which included 1,400 in that resort town. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 21:39, 21 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

"canals or dykes" – Use "and"! >:(

- K. :P ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 21:39, 21 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

"The high rainfall increased levels along rivers" – I was on level 25 today but then I lost my last life to the red ghost. Er, what type of levels? Please clarify in the article. :P

Water? :P ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 21:39, 21 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

"record set in 1981" ... "worst in Vietnam since 1999" – by? If it isn't known then I'll let it slide.

Unfortunately, I have a theory but nothing definitive. Lazy media peeps :( ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 21:39, 21 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Overall, it's very well-written and I don't have any other issues to bring up. Also, kudos for archiving/rescuing those few links. ;) Nice work as usual, Hink! Cloudchased (talk) 21:28, 21 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]