Talk:Typhoon Halong (2002)/GA1

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GA Review[edit]

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Reviewer: Yellow Evan (talk · contribs) 00:52, 8 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]

  • "Typhoon Halong (international designation: 0207,[1] JTWC designation: 10W[2], PAGASA local name: Inday) in 2002 passed just south of Guam only one week after Typhoon Chataan struck the island and left heavy damage." I suggest removing "only" as IMO it adds no value to the sentence. 00:52, 8 November 2012 (UTC)
  • " The seventh named storm of the season, Halong developed near the same location as Chataan on July 5 near the Marshall Islands." either remove the second or third part, it's too redundant IMO. YE Pacific Hurricane 00:52, 8 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]
    • I disagree. It's key to mention the connection with Chataan, and explain where that is. It could've developed near Philippines and also affect Guam, but the fact that it took a similar path just a week later is pretty important. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 19:46, 8 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The storm disrupted relief efforts from Chataan, causing additional power outages but little damage." AFAIK you should put a comma before "but". YE Pacific Hurricane 00:52, 8 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]
    • It's not necessary, and I think it flows better without it. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 19:46, 8 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • " deaths in the country." how many? YE Pacific Hurricane 00:52, 8 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]
    • I deliberately avoided that in the lede, since it was an extended period of flooding in the country that can't be identified to one particular storm. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 19:46, 8 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • "In early July, a circulation developed along the monsoon trough near Enewetak Atoll, with an associated area of convection."I suggest re-wording this to "In early July, a circulation associated with convection developed along the monsoon trough near Enewetak Atoll.". YE Pacific Hurricane 00:52, 8 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • " The system removed nearly stationary,[3] tracking slowly to the southwest.[2] " read this sentence out loud plz. YE Pacific Hurricane 00:52, 8 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • "he agency classified Halong as extratropical. " already lined above, so delink. YE Pacific Hurricane 00:52, 8 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]
    • Given how important becoming extratropical is to the lifetime of a tropical cyclone, I opted to link it a second time. Is that OK? I'd hardly call it overlinking. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 19:46, 8 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • Any aftermath? YE Pacific Hurricane 00:52, 8 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • How come no see also section? YE Pacific Hurricane 00:52, 8 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]