Talk:Valis III/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: TarkusAB (talk · contribs) 02:09, 17 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

I will review this article. Please ping if I don't get to it within a week. TarkusAB^talk/contrib 02:09, 17 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

eponymous series - change to "Valis series". It's shorter and easier to understand (not a policy/guideline, but a good essay on this: WP:TITULAR)
titular mystical sword - change to "mystical Valis sword", also in the Gameplay section. (again, WP:TITULAR)

Gameplay

No comment

Plot

No comment

Development & Release

In the first paragraph a lot of the staff are listed out, sourced to the game credits. Since none of these people are notable enough to have their own Wikipedia page, and reliable sources do not mention them, it's odd for us to go into this level of detail, so I think they should be removed. I think it's OK to keep the director and producer mentioned, since they are the project leads, and maybe Osamu Nabeshima, because a source does talk about him, but yea, this section needs some pruning.
The article uses "PC Engine version" and "TurboGrafx-CD version" interchangeably. If the source is talking about the Japanese version explicitly, then "PC Engine" should be used, but otherwise TurboGrafx-CD is good to talk about the platform from a worldwide perspective. I changed how the system was introduced in the second paragraph of development, but if this needs to be fixed elsewhere in the article, please fix.
SD Valis and an additional title -Is the additional title not a Valis game? If it is a Valis game, it seems odd to not mention what it is.
The physical edition of the collection is also planned for an English localization by Limited Run Games. - Two questions. 1) Did this come out yet? 2) I don't think it's fair to say a "physical edition" will be "localized". The term "localized" is usually when saying the game itself will be translated and changed for a different locale. I don't think Limited Run touches the game programming. Just "Western release" or something like that is fine here.

Reception

For a GA review, I'll let it slide, but this section could use improvement. It uses too much "He said this. She said this." without drawing comparisons between reviews to find similarities in their commentary to arrive at what most reviewers liked/disliked. For an FA review, this definitely would need a rewrite.
the PC Engine version sold better compared to the Sega Genesis release. -"TurboGrafx-CD" might work better here than "PC Engine", assuming he's talking about worldwide sales
ranking at the number 396 spot in a 1995 public poll. -396 among what? All Genesis games released by then? All Sega games?

Legacy

I think this section can be removed. It's so short, and Syd of Valis and Valis X came out later, so it isn't really accurate that this was her last game. I do understand what you're getting at, but this is maybe better discussed in the series article than here. It's not really the game's "legacy".

Those are my comments. TarkusAB^talk/contrib 18:06, 18 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

@TarkusAB: I addressed most of the issues pointed out, though you got me there at the first point about the reception section. @A.WagnerC: can tackle the remaining issues. Roberth Martinez (talk) 19:42, 18 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Development & Release

Point 1 - Done
Point 2 - Done
Point 3 - Done
Point 4 - Done

Reception

Point 1 - Done
Point 2 - Done
Point 3 - As that is an interview by Masayasu Yamamoto for a Japanese magazine, PC Engine is correct. Even the source that translated the interview excerpts into English uses the term PC Engine.

Legacy

Point 1 - Done

I think now there aren't any other issues anymore. The reviews in the reception topic has been split into two paragraphs to talk about each console. @TarkusAB: Can you see if the article is ok? ✍A.WagnerC (talk) 22:44, 18 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

KGRAMR and TarkusAB - I added a new topic, "Characters". Can you then see if it's better or not? Best regards. ✍A.WagnerC (talk) 14:04, 19 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

@KGRAMR: @A.WagnerC: I appreciate KGRAMR for shortening and reformatting the character list. A list is not appropriate per WP:VGSCOPE #6. Now on a separate note, it's not quite good writing to write out both console names with a slash in between. PC Engine CD-ROM²/TurboGrafx-CD is hard to understand for someone unfamiliar with the console's history. Since the system article uses the TurboGrafx brand names, it's better to just write "TurboGrafx-CD" everywhere on the English Wikipedia. The first time PC Engine is mentioned in the article, it can be mentioned that it is the Japanese model of the TurboGrafx-CD. I suppose if you really wanted to, you could put a footnote. Anyways, I will make these changes. Same with the Genesis. Only time I would argue for using the Japanese console titles is if the game was a Japanese exclusive.

That being said, I'll pass it because that issue should not prevent GA. TarkusAB^talk/contrib 02:48, 23 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

@TarkusAB:Hey, no problem! I'm glad to help with improving articles. Also, this is now the first Valis article to be within the GA range! Roberth Martinez (talk) 15:19, 23 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]