Talk:Vicky Knight/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: MWright96 (talk · contribs) 13:33, 23 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Going to review this article. MWright96 (talk) 13:33, 23 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall:
Pass/Fail:

Lead

"She has starred in Too Ugly For Love (2014), and Dirty God (2019)." - the comma is unneeded in this instance
"Knight received burns to 33% of her body - don't use the % symbol per MOS:PERCENT
"from the 2003 fire" - a 2003 fire
"'she doesn't get acting roles in films." - better and avois the use of unnccessary contractions outside of quotations per MOS:CONTRACTION: receive no acting roles in films.
"Knight participated 'in the sponsored 28-mile walk," - a sponsored 28 mi (45 km)
"After raising £1,000," - Afterwards,

Done ~~ CAPTAIN MEDUSA^talk 00:44, 24 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]

2003 fire

"which had been owned by her grandfather, but was then being run by her uncle," - and was run by her uncle,
"Kevin Knight and his wife Kate.[5][3][6] - the arranging of the sources here should be in numerical order
"Later he died from the injuries" - more gramatically correct; Springer later died
"who entered the fire to save them.[9][6]" - same issue as the second issue I've mentioned in this section
"Vicky Knight received burns to 33%" - the % symbol should be changed to per cent per MOS:PERCENT
"She tried to hide her scars" - how about using the word conceal rather than hide?
How about give a specific mention that Knight was bullied verbally and physically as stated in The Guardian source?

Done ~~ CAPTAIN MEDUSA^talk 00:52, 24 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Career

"She later stated that she was duped" - use a more formal word in place of "duped" such as deceive
"Jay Weissberg of the Variety wrote" - try to change the opening part of this sentence so it is different than the similarly worded one before it
"Knight has said that Dirty God has completely changed her life. She further added that it was "helping her come to terms with her scars." - reword the sentence to Knight stated Dirty God changed her entriely life in helping her cope with her burn scars. to limit a violation of WP:LIMITED
"The same year she was nominated for Breakthrough Brits by British Academy Film Awards (BAFTA)" - the text in bold should be changed to for the Breakthrough Brits Award by the British Academy Film Awards (BAFTA).

Done ~~ CAPTAIN MEDUSA^talk 00:57, 24 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Personal life

"known as Vicky Chaundy.[2][9][3]" - the arranging of the sources here should be in numerical order
"Knight finds hard to access her emotions about her scars, she further added" - better and concise Knight added she finds it difficult to enter the emotions concering her scars
"She also revealed that she was feeling suicidal, she said" - this is an improvement and concise She also revealed she has had sucidial ideation
"She has participated in a sponsored 28-mile walk" - use the convert template on 28-mile
"work as healthcare assistant" - should be worded as work as a healthcare assistant
if she doesn't get any more acting roles in films." - the text in bold should be worded to in the event she recevies no more roles in films to avoid using unncessary contractions outside of quotations per MOS:CONTRACTION
"She has also said she would like to write a book about her life." - There is close paraphrasing in this sentence and does not pass WP:LIMITED. Please reword the sentence to limit the close paraphrasing here.

Done ~~ CAPTAIN MEDUSA^talk 01:09, 24 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]

References

References 1, 4 and 11 should include the dates they were published and the authors who wrote the articles
Reference 7 must require the work that published the article
Reference 17 has an incorrect publication date of 2 November 2019 that should be 30 October 2019
The author of reference 18 is entered as "Gant2019-07-08T08:33:00+01:00, Charles" when it should be just "Gant, Charles"
Also the same source is missing the date it was published

Done ~~ CAPTAIN MEDUSA^talk 11:54, 24 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]

This article has some issues, some minor and some major. For minor issues, there are a few grammar issues, such as using contractions, and neutral/words to watch issues. One of the main issues are the close paraphrasing - some of which would be better reworded to avoid a WP:LIMITED violation. As most of the issues seem like quick fixes, with others being like they could be fixed with some work, the review will be put on hold for the time being. MWright96 (talk) 16:00, 23 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]

MWright96, I have fixed all the issues mentioned above. ~~ CAPTAIN MEDUSA^talk 11:57, 24 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]

@CAPTAIN MEDUSA: Now promoting to GA class. Note I have made some changes to the prose of the article. MWright96 (talk) 13:02, 24 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]

MWright96, Thank you. I have On Her Shoulders, Mike Wallace Is Here and Nischal Basnet opened for GA. You can review it; if you're interested. Thanks. ~~ CAPTAIN MEDUSA^talk 13:05, 24 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]