Talk:Vitamin E/GA1
GA Review
[edit]The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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Reviewer: Etriusus (talk · contribs) 04:04, 8 December 2022 (UTC)
I'll review this, always glad to see a Vital Article come through here. Immediately, I am worried about the handful of citation needed tags and the glaring number of sentences that are missing sources. I will keep the review open for now (until 12/15), since I am familiar with the general quality of your work, but I won't go much further until these issues are resolved. Once this is resolved, we can discuss a time frame for the rest of the page. I understand these topic can take time, vital articles tend to be a long haul. Thankfully, my degree is related close enough to this topic (Human Biology) for me to give a relatively technical review of the article. Etrius ( Us) 04:04, 8 December 2022 (UTC)
Please use a Done, strikethrough or some other means of indicating an issue is resolved..
Images
[edit]- File:Tocopherols.svg
- File:Tocopherol, alpha-.svg
- File:Beta-tocopherol.png
- File:Gamma-tocopherol.png
- File:Delta-tocopherol.png
- File:Tocopheryl acetate.png
Technically, there is nothing inherently wrong with this copyright. That being said, a structural formula copyright (see File:Alpha-Tocopherol Structural Formulae V.1.svg) is more accurate. No other issues noted with the copyrights.
Copy-vios
[edit]- I'll continue to make spot-checks as this goes on.
Earwig only flags 3-4 word proper nouns and phrases that really can't be reworded.
Sources
[edit]The missing citation issue has been raised above.
- Done Prasad K (2011). "Tocotrienols and cardiovascular health". Current Pharmaceutical Design. link should be added
Prose
[edit]- All the external links have been checked, they are still live.
- Done The see also section should be cut, Tocopherol & Tocotrienol are already linked
Intro
- Done
Vitamin E deficiency, which is rare and usually...
move to the end of the paragraph - No'2,000 mg' convert template (ounces for all the Americans in the room)
- Fixed 'The authors' either specify or generalize
- No; all vitamins have hitory as last paragraph of Lead Frankly, the second paragraph should go at the end. It is chronologically out of order.
- Fixed Does the 3rd paragraph need to be on its own? It is a single sentence and works better at the end of paragraph 5.
- Done
Both natural and synthetic tocopherols...
Move to end of paragraph - Done Specify in the beginning that there are 5 tocopheryles, 4 natural and 1 sythentic (tocopheryl acetate)
Chemistry
The nutritional content...
move to later in the paragraph, it doesn't make sense to introduce a RRR configuration before explaining methyl groups, adding to the end would work.R" sites
You and I know what this means but specify this is a functional group. I can potentially read like its a chiral center- 'stereoisomers' If memory serves, this is not the correct term. I get what the page is going for, in respect to the tail, those specific segments are stereoisomers (enantiomers, diastereomers, etc). That being said the structures of each type of tocopherols, as a whole, are not isomers. Perhaps 'phytyl tail chirality' or 'stereochemistry' would be more accurate.
- Furthermore, why is this its own section? Tocotrienols subsection breaks down the stereochemistry within its own section
- 'reaction from continuing' be more specific. I assume Vitamin E acts in a fairly specific way as a reducing agent. I would help drive home the biological importance if more specificity of what the lipid radicals damage.
- 'electrophilic mutagens' so, acids. Radicals, are generally electrophilic, seems a bit WP:TECHNICAL. This also implies these radicals act on DNA, which would be good to mention.
- 'unique properties' Technically, nucleophile-electrophile rxns are stupidly common, and by definition pretty much all radical breakdowns are nuc-ele reactions. The sentence as a whole sounds nice but isn't really saying much.
- 'hydrophobic side chains' you mean unsaturated side chains, saturated side chains are also hydrophobic
Palm oil is a good source of alpha and gamma tocotrienols
out of place sentencetwo corresponding centers
This should be reworded- There is plenty of space, why not add the 4 Tocotrienols' structures to the box?
which would have a 2S rather than 2R configuration at the molecules' single chiral center
redundant, also a bit confusing since it hasn't been established prior that dextrorotatory = R.unlike synthetic dl-alpha-tocopherol
keep the terms consistent. Also, is this needed? perhaps saying an S config is theoretically possible but not commercially made gets the point across just fine.
Function
Vitamin E affects gene expression
Needs to be expanded significantly. A cursory search has turned up a number of sources
Biosysthesis
chemical family of compounds made up of four tocopherols and four tocotrienols
reword
- are 'tocochromanols' the general classification for all vitamin E? Only in plants? This isn't clear why new terms are being brought up
and plants that through mutations have lost the ability to synthesize α-tocopherol demonstrate normal growth.
reword sentence, order of ideas is confusion- 'normal synthesis capacity' specify
- ' reverse is true' specify
- 'same article mentions' not encyclopedic wording, needs to just be stated in a matter-of-fact way
- 'Focusing on tocopherols' same as above
- 'caustic soda' link
- ' The synthetic has 73.5% ' The synthetic version has...
- extra '</ref>'
Deficiency
- nerve problems reword to neurological problems
Dietary recommendations
- Fixed
The Japan National Institute of Health..
sentence is clunky - Fixed '...is an outlier' could be misconstrued as subtle WP:POV. I don't disagree, still recommend rewording to make this wording is simpler
- Most countries do not have vitamin dietary recommendations Overall, this section is very well written. I'd love to see more countries represented.
Sources
- Done
Worldwide, consumption is below recommendations according to a summary of more than one hundred studies...
repeat sentence, cut the preceding sentence or reword. common form found in the North American diet
any other diets/continents?
Metabolism
- 'vitamers' I feel like this an important term that should have been brought up sooner
and all of the vitamin E vitamers are metabolized and then excreted via urine.
unclear on what this means. I assume this means un-excreted bile.so this appears to be a means of disposing of excess vitamin E
I would hope urine is an excretory process. Rather redundant info- 'chiral 2 site' 2nd chiral site reads better
A rare genetic defect of the TTPA gene results in people exhibiting a progressive neurodegenerative disorder known as ataxia with vitamin E deficiency (AVED) despite consuming normal amounts of vitamin E. Large amounts of alpha-tocopherol as a dietary supplement are needed to compensate for the lack of α-TTP
repetitive, cutAs an example of a result of the preferential treatment, the US diet delivers approximately 70 mg/d of γ-tocopherol and plasma concentrations are on the order of 2–5 µmol/L; meanwhile, dietary α-tocopherol is about 7 mg/d but plasma concentrations are in the range of 11–37 µmol/L
Info is out of place
Testing for levels
- Done section is arbitrary. The info could be split between Dietary recommendations and Deficiency
Research
- Done Rename section to 'health effects' or something in that same vein
- Removed text, as it was interpretive, i.e., original research
For the conditions described below...
What is the purpose of this paragraph. It reads more like a disclaimer than a wiki article.
- Shortened This whole section seems to be going a bit too much in depth on the studies, especially the 'cancer' section. I get the need to explain but breaking down methodology isn't really necessary. Try to keep this focused on the health effects. As a whole, this section should be pared down
- Not possible to have a ref for what the EFSA has not done, so sentence removed
The European Food Safety Authority (EFSA) reviews proposed health claims for the European Union countries. As of September 2022,, EFSA has not evaluated any vitamin E and cancer prevention claims.
missing citation
There are a number of instances where I'd love to see more coverage on other countries, or at least mention that other countries do not have dietary recommendations. On a broader scale, I am concerned that there is a no 'function' section. The Anti-oxidant function is buried in the chemistry section and the specific functions are spread amongst the entire article. This make it somewhat difficult to get a read on what Vitamin E actual does. This review was a beast but here are the first set of edits. I'll put this on hold but there is going to be some serious legwork ahead. Etrius ( Us) 05:02, 15 December 2022 (UTC)
- @David notMD, any update? The review has been live for a week now and I don't see any progress made (assuming you aren't drafting something). Do you have an idea of when you'll get around to this? I understand that this is a long one and the holidays are coming up so I'm more than willing to accommodate. Especially with Vital Articles, I'd love to see them pass, but I do expect you to be actively working on it if able. If something is unclear in my recommendations, please let me know either here or in the talk page discussion. Etrius ( Us) 19:21, 22 December 2022 (UTC)