Talk:William Claflin/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Ealdgyth (talk · contribs) 13:50, 10 September 2016 (UTC)[reply]

I'll be reviewing this article shortly. Ealdgyth - Talk 13:50, 10 September 2016 (UTC)[reply]

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism):
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall:
Pass/Fail:

Lead:
- Not required, but you have "1869–1872" and "1877–1881" but then "1868 to 1872" ... consistency is a good thing. Done Magic♪piano 19:04, 12 September 2016 (UTC)[reply]
- "between Radical and moderate wings of the Republican Party" shouldn't it be "between the Radical and moderate wings of the Republican Party"? Done Magic♪piano 19:04, 12 September 2016 (UTC)[reply]
- I see that "and was the state's first governor to actively support full women's suffrage" has a ref in the lead, but it really should be discussed in the article body also. Done Magic♪piano 19:04, 12 September 2016 (UTC)[reply]
Early years:
- Why did he move back to Massachusetts? Did his health improve? Answered Magic♪piano 19:04, 12 September 2016 (UTC)[reply]
- When did Lee Chaflin die? Is his death one reason for William continuing the partnership?
  - Clarified He became a partner before his father died. Magic♪piano 19:04, 12 September 2016 (UTC)[reply]
Politics:
- "Claflin followed his father in both religion and politics" - but his father's religion hasn't been mentioned, nor has William's... Done Magic♪piano 19:04, 12 September 2016 (UTC)[reply]
- "In 1866 Claflin was elected Lieutenant Governor under Governor Alexander Hamilton Bullock, winning reelection on the same ticket two times.[15] He was elected governor in 1868," - were the terms for only one year? The time frame here doesn't make sense - if he was elected Lt Gov in 1866, and then was re-elected in 1867 and 1868, he can't also have been elected Gov in 1868... unless I'm missing something.
  - Fixed. Every once in a while this bites me. The election is one year, the inauguration the next; he was first elected in 1865. Magic♪piano 19:04, 12 September 2016 (UTC)[reply]
- "Along with his father, Claflin donated funds to purchase land for Claflin University, the historically black Methodist university.." - but they founded the university so it wasn't "historically black" at the time of its foundation. Need a better wording here - I get what you're trying to say but it's misleading as it's written.
  - Well, it's true that it wasn't historically black at the time of its founding, but it was founded for the express purpose of educating freed slaves. I figured use of the phrase would indicate the purpose of the founding, but I can clarify if you think it's really needed. Magic♪piano 19:04, 12 September 2016 (UTC)[reply]
Later years:
- "In 1854 he purchased a farm that had once been owned by two governors: Simon Bradstreet (a 17th-century governor of the Massachusetts Bay Colony), and William Hull, governor of the Michigan Territory." - why is the fact that the previous owners were governors important? Looks like trivia to me. What does it tell us about Claflin?
  - I'm trying to give historical context for what he's doing on the estate. Magic♪piano 19:04, 12 September 2016 (UTC)[reply]
References:
- I'm not seeing the Austin reference used in the notes, did I miss it? If it's not used, it shouldn't be in the References
  - Removed that source was not particularly useful in what it had to say about Claflin. Magic♪piano 19:04, 12 September 2016 (UTC)[reply]
- What is the "Goldman" ref in the notes? It's not in the references. Added Magic♪piano 19:04, 12 September 2016 (UTC)[reply]
- A quick search of Google Scholar turned up. Not required to use these, but figured they might help.:
Copyvio check:
- Earwig shows no problems. Googling of some random phrases showed no issues.

I've put the article on hold for seven days to allow folks to address the issues I've brought up. Feel free to contact me on my talk page, or here with any concerns, and let me know one of those places when the issues have been addressed. If I may suggest that you strike out, check mark, or otherwise mark the items I've detailed, that will make it possible for me to see what's been addressed, and you can keep track of what's been done and what still needs to be worked on. Ealdgyth - Talk 14:18, 10 September 2016 (UTC)[reply]

I"ve seen this but am like totally swamped in real life. Will hopefully get to it tomorrow! Ealdgyth - Talk 14:11, 16 September 2016 (UTC)[reply]

All these changes look good. Passing the article now. Ealdgyth - Talk 12:57, 19 September 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for taking the time to review it! Magic♪piano 14:03, 19 September 2016 (UTC)[reply]