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Talk:Yoga the Iyengar Way/GA1

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GA Review

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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 17:17, 23 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Many thanks for taking this on. Chiswick Chap (talk) 18:35, 23 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

  • A two-sentence lead is a little too short for me. I'd look to get one or two sentences covering each major section of the article in there.
Done.
  • "yoga teachers Silva, Mira, and Shyam Mehta." I would repeat their surnames just in case there's some confusion that they may just have single word names?
Done.
  • Perhaps the lead could introduce them as "Silva Mehta, and her children..."?
Done.
  • "problems practice remedial yoga" shouldn't that be practise?
Done.
  • "from Mr. Iyengar from" Mr? We don't normally do that.
Removed.
  • Where is Mira's date of birth referenced? In fact, is it important? Neither Silva nor Shyam's are mentioned?
Removed.
  • Check refs are sufficiently populated, e.g. for online sources, either a publication date or an accessdate as well as title and publisher/work.
Parameters filled in.
  • The Topics covered section is a little odd aesthetically, perhaps bullet point the sections instead of have all those separate tiny paras?
Done.
  • "a short introduction to yoga in" can't believe that's the first point at which you could link generic yoga.
Linked earlier.
  • "asana" is linked in the previous section.
Removed link.
  • So is pranayama.
Removed link.
  • "The book is in a large format (215 x 275 mm, close to A4 size), " firstly convert to Imperial, and secondly, does this apply to both the original print and the 2006 reprint?
Converted, and yes.
  • "get a double-page" a little colloquial, perhaps "are featured on a ..."?
Edited.
Linked.

That's all I have on this at the moment, interesting read, thanks. The Rambling Man (Staying alive since 2005!) 15:11, 24 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Great, all looking in order, I juggled some of the last section around to keep reviews together. One thing niggling me, the footnotes, some of them could be reused if that's possible, i.e. MMM1 and MMM3 are the same, similarly MMM10, MMM11 and MMM12 are the same. It looks a little odd to see those repeated... The Rambling Man (Staying alive since 2005!) 18:55, 24 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
Refs merged. The Rambling Man: Many thanks for the review! Chiswick Chap (talk) 09:05, 25 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
Great, nice work, happy to pass this now. Cheers. The Rambling Man (Staying alive since 2005!) 09:24, 25 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
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