User:A2129120/sandbox

Introduction

“Freedom from a childhood fever” is a poem in free verse by Kamal Kumar, who goes by the pen-name Nilotpal Chattopadhyay. It has been published in the collection of poems Srishti Sukher Ullashe (2011), by Suknya Enterprises. His other works include Bibarna Ramdhanu (2012) and Jete Nahi Dibo (2013). This poem was first written in Bengali and then translated into English by Olivia Roy.

Original Text

Translation I

On days of ruthless fever during childhood –

rested two hands on my head – hands of care and

love, hands, whose touch would soothe my heart,

amid the melancholy of sickness.

The hands would carry soaked

cloth to cool the forehead,

the hands would carry pitchers of

water to wash the head,

day and night the hands would toil,

sometimes to get medicine in a

jhinuk, sometimes a touch of

assurance,

the fever wouldn't subside,

restlessness would engulf me in

grief,

but only the hands would sober all the restlessness that

clouded my heart

whenever a cry of "maa" would escape the mouth.

Catfish stew with vegetables of a

sort, in the comfort of mother’s lap

without a word I would gulp it all

down, chide, muri, sandesh, she would

bring everything that I wanted

and never a word of complaint.

One hand would cater to my sickness,

the other would serve a household as huge as that of Raavan’s

With love, warmth and care,

A mother would free her child of sickness

medicines, sweets,

milk, she would bring it

all,

she has ten hands like Maa

Durga, and who worships her?

who remembers the goddess of the

household after growing up is she tucked

away somewhere in the corner of our busy

lives?

is an F.R.F.C.S. certified doctor

more important today on

motherless nights for a good night's

sleep?

Translation II

The melancholy of

sickness, only the touch of

two hands, of love and care

Would soothe this restless heart.

Sometimes to wash the head,

Sometimes to carry water in

pitcher, the hands would toil all

day

Everytime a groan of "Maa Maa" escaped

This mouth.

Fish stew with vegetables of the sort,

I would gulp it down all,

As long as ma rocked me in her lap,

Puffed rice and sweets,

She would bring it all,

Ten hands she has like Maa

Durga catering to a sick child

with one,

And serving the huge household in

another, does anyone worship her?

Growing up, do we remember her?

Is she somewhere tucked away in the corner of

Our busy lives?

Is an F.R.S.C.F certified doctor more

important today on motherless nights of peaceful sleep?

Form

Translation I

Translation I is a free verse poem. It is written in the form of stanzas. It consists of 36 lines, divided into five stanzas with four, twelve, six, four, and ten lines respectively. This translation has no set rhyme scheme. The syllables are not arranged in a traditional metrical format; thus, the translated poem lacks a metrical pattern.

Translation II

Translation II is a free verse poem consisting of 23 lines without a proper rhythmic meter. The lines of this translation are short without a recognisable metrical pattern.

Summary

Translation I is divided into five stanzas. In the first stanza, the poet is reminiscing about his childhood days when he would fall sick and crave the care of his mother. The poem is in the form of retrospection to make the readers feel nostalgic about their childhood when their mother's touch would be the only source of peace. He feels comfort as he vividly remembers the warmth of his mother's palm, as she would caress the forehead of the poet when he had a high fever.

The poet remembers when his mother would bring a wet cotton cloth to cool his forehead. Throughout the poem, there is particular emphasis on hands. The hands have been personified in every instance. By doing so, the poet tries to convey the essence of the nurturing quality that hands connote and its relationship to motherhood. For example, in the second stanza, the poet breathes life into the hands by describing the act of carrying water pitchers to wash the head. He says that it is the hands that toil day and night to care for the sick child, sometimes to get medicine, sometimes to provide a touch of assurance, sometimes to feed, and so on.

The poet moves on to now focus on the word "maa," which means “mother” in Bangla. He says that every time he uttered the word in his sickness, a sense of relief would wash over all his restlessness as his mother would come to cater to his needs. By invoking words such as  "hands" and "maa", the poet is only trying to unify people beyond cultural barriers with the nostalgia of being in the company of our mothers during our childhood.

In the third stanza, he remembers the remedial goodness of fish stew with vegetables beside his mother's lap's warm nook. He would gulp down whatever his mother would bring, from sweets to puffed rice, without a single word of complaint.

The fourth stanza returns to the notion of hands and how the personification of it is associated with motherhood. He compares his mother with Maa Durga, the Hindu Goddess of feminine power and strength. In other words, he is metaphorically implying the multitasking capability of his mother, just like the Goddess, who has ten hands to cater to and protect her worshippers.

Finally, the poet contemplates how mothers are treated differently from goddesses. Although we equate the latter with motherhood, we don't celebrate our mothers with such grandeur and valor. The poet ends the poem with open-ended questions like:

she has ten hands like Maa

Durga, and who worships her?

who remembers the Goddess of the

household after growing up is she tucked

away somewhere in the corner of our busy

lives?

is an F.R.F.C.S. certified doctor

more important today on motherless nights

for a good night's

sleep?

(Translation I)

Analysis

The poem has been translated culturally and linguistically (Dryden’s theory on translation: Imitation) from Bengali to English. Translation I not only imparts cultural knowledge but also preserves the essence of the text in the native language. Translation involves the politics of language and identity, making the function of a translator vital, rigorous and cautious. In considering translation as a form, Walter Benjamin believes that the “hallmark of bad translations” is when a piece of art is translated merely for communication. However, Translation I has transcended the “hallmark of bad translations”. The core of "the enigmatic, the unfathomable, the poetic" is culturally intact. The conscious act of not translating some words "jhinuk", "maa", "chide", "muri", and "sandesh" defines the degree of adherence to the original text. The cultural setting of the first translation  attempts to be ‘faithful’ to the poet’s intended meaning. The translated text suffers various alterations and always risks the original context of the poem. In this case, Translation I has critically braided cultural terminology into the translation, maintaining the essence of the source text. Dynamic translation of the poem has offered some form of liberty to the translator to hold together the cultural context of certain words. The poem's apparent shape, including the rhyme scheme, is changed in this translation.

In Translation II, the translator has incorporated John Dryden's notion of ''Imitation". It decodes from the source, word to word, which also impacts the cultural meaning of the source. This translation abandons the source language's totality to express the poem's message. The essence is also maintained in this version.