User:D-Day/The REAL Jimbo Wales Story

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It has been suggested that this article or section be merged into Jimmy Wales. (Discuss)

It has been suggested that this article or section be merged into Uncyclopedia:Jimbo Wales. (Discuss)

James Wales was born June 6, 1966 in Alberquerque, New Mexico. He came as a suprise to his parents as well as everyone else at the movie theatre. His dad took one look at him and named him "James", which angered his mom, who wanted to name him "Encyclopedia." She got revenge when she bought him his first Christmas present.

From an early age, Baby Wales took an interest in the world around him, especially in the area of physics. He grew fascinated by how a hand would move a tortilla into a mouth, and often preformed experiments in this field.

Education

Young Jimbo enrolled in the Neverland Preschool in Los Olivos, California at the age of 5. "I fondly remember our teacher." said Wales in a recent interview. "He always played fun games with us."

Wales went through the public schools before graduating with from the University of Las Vegas with a degree in Elementary education. Unfortunately, his prospective employers found out where he went to pre-school, and had no choice but to turn him down.

Personally Speaking...

Jimbo's friends describe him as rather shy.

"While the rest of us were out playing kickball and riding our bikes, Jimmy liked to stay inside and write math textbooks." --Cameron Diaz.

"When we were young, Jimbo's nickname was 'The Hulk.' I don't why. The name didn't suit him." --Keith Urban

"I LOVE YOU JIMMY! MAKE ME YOUR SOULMATE!" -- Willy on Wheels

Early Career

Eventually, Jimbo decided that he wanted to go into the entertainment business. He joined the circus, where he became famous as "Happy & Slappy, the 2-Headed Clown." After that, he joined the music industry. In 1993, he joined the music industry, where he became a one-hit wonder with the chart-topping dance track I Wanna Be A Woman. His second single, a cover of Bon Jovi's Wanted Dead or Alive, failed to crack the top 40 due to the Macarena craze.

At a charity event in Tierra Del Fuego two years later, Wales met Larry Sanger, an entrepenuer. Sanger was the owner of a "little project" named Nupedia. At the time, Nupedia was nothing more than a support group for troubled Elvis impersonators. With Jimbo's help, Nupedia was transformed into a free encyclopedia that anyone could edit. Plus, it was the first source of online karaoke found anywhere on the web.

In order to accomplish this goal, the encyclopedia needed funding. Jimbo went and borrowed a large sum of money from his brother Johnbo Wales just before he was fired from the bank. Jimbo is still paying his brother back by washing his car twice every day.

Personal life

Always the ladies man, Jimbo has dated many of the world's most attractive women, including Paris Hilton, Julia Roberts, Cindy Crawford, Princess Diana, and more recently, Carrie Underwood. He was also asked twice to be the star of ABC's reality show The Bachelor, but he turned the opportunity down both times.

Jimbo currently lives in the luxurious pad pictured at the right. He's lived in it for ten years. Jimbo loves his house, and wouldn't trade it for the world. The only downside, according to Jimbo, "People keep trying to come and take it away."

Professional life

In 2001, Jimbo began training to play rugby. He was selected by the El Paso Pirates with the first overall selection in the American Rugby Association's First-Year Player Draft two years later. Jimbo made an immediate impact, and was named Rookie of the Year. Unfortunately, he was suspended during his second season of competition for decapitating too many players. There also rumors that he has taken anabolic steroids, but Jimbo denies this.

In recent years, Jimbo has begun acting as well. He orginally was cast as the role as the economics teacher in Ferris Bueller's Day Off, only to be replaced by Ben Stein on shooting day because he was ill. In August 2006, Jimbo made his big screen debut in the blockbuster, Snakes on a Plane.

Presently

Jimbo currently works as a spokesmen for Supercuts. As you can see, he may have a beard, but when it comes to fantasy football, Jimbo says "Don't Worry, Be Happy!"
In addition to Wikipedia and Supercuts, Jimbo also works as a full-time joke writer for Larry the Cable Guy.
Jimbo is also being pursued by a stalker named Willy on Wheels. If you see him, Jimbo wants you to call the cops NOW.