User:DJ Cane/GA List

This is the list from Talk:Kennewick, Washington/GA1 showing edits that need to be made. I am placing it here so I can check stuff off as I work on them. Notes I have addressed are in italics.

Lead

No refs in lead
Omit sentence with pop count for Tri-Cities, fits better in that topic's article
The discovery of Kennewick Man along the banks of the river... -- which river?

Native peoples

Native Americans populated the area around modern-day Kennewick for millennia before being discovered and settled by Americans who descended from Europeans. -- touchy topic. Just say "European descendants"
There are conflicting stories on how Kennewick gained its name; most attribute it in some form to the Native Americans living in the area. -- who? (who tag added)
Legend holds that the strangest was "Tehe," -- reading the referenced article, there is no mention of this being "the strangest" so I have to assume this is your own opinion. The source also does not inform of the little girl
This is corroborated by early settlers sent to the area with the city listed as Tehe, Washington. -- settlers or letters?
Any information on the of the tribe(s) that settled in the area? (tribe names, village names, etc)

Settlement and early 20th century

subheading -- settlement by whomst? clarify as you had just talked about native settlement
The Umatilla and Yakama tribes ceded the land Kennewick stands on at the Walla Walla Council in 1855. -- expand; why did they cede?
Some Ainsworth residents would commute to what is now Kennewick via small boats for work. -- expand; what type of work?
This initial boom only lasted briefly, as most of the people who came to Kennewick left after the bridge was finished. -- why and to where?
Like many other agricultural communities, the Great Depression had an impact in Kennewick. -- vague; communities where? what kind of impact? assume the reader doesn't know what the Great Depression is.
Growth was aided by federal projects that improved the Columbia River. -- improved how? you can probably merge this with the next couple sentences

Hanford boom

the United States opened the Hanford nuclear site in and north of Richland. -- in and north??
The federal government constructed housing in Richland, but many employees of that site then commuted from Kennewick. -- why?
The plutonium refined at the Hanford site was used in the Fat Man bomb used to attack Nagasaki in 1945 in the decisive final blow of the war. -- I would omit the part after 1945
As the Hanford Site's purpose has evolved, there has continually been a tremendous influence from the site on the workforce and economy of Kennewick. -- grammar; not really sure what you're trying to say here
An effort to build a new bridge began in 1949 and was funded in 1951. -- by who?
Traffic between Kennewick and Pasco, largely due to commuters heading to and from the Hanford Site in Richland and McNary Dam, which was under construction near Umatilla, Oregon. The two-lane Green Bridge was the only one for automobiles across the Columbia River in the Tri-Cities at the time, and the 10,000 cars crossing it daily had created traffic problems. -- incoherent
In 1963, the Washington State Board Against Discrimination indicted Kennewick for its sundown town policy. -- result??
Cars that didn't have external filters stopped functioning during the eruption -- this is a misinterpretation of the source
Kennewick and surrounding areas have been dusted by smaller eruptions of Mount St. Helens since. -- as late as..?
The 1980s also brought the two most serious attempts -- debatable, opinionated; advise remove
This resulted from an economic -- These*?
and what about the second merge attempt?

1990 to present

Ownership of the bones has been a matter of great controversy. -- why?
After a court litigation, a group of researchers were allowed to study the remains and perform various tests and analyses. -- expand upon the court litigation if it doesn't have its own article
primarily due to consistent job growth in the metro area during that period. -- how?
While growth has been experienced throughout the city, new development has been strongest in the Southridge area along U.S. Route 395 and in the west part of the city. -- why?

More later. --truflip99 (talk) 03:22, 19 April 2020 (UTC)

Geography

The entire Pacific Northwest is threatened with subduction zone earthquakes, which can exceed magnitudes of 9. -- denote richter scale
The last of these earthquakes, which are similar to the 2011 Tōhoku earthquake in Japan -- rather, say "which could be compared to"
Damage is expected to be minimal in and around Kennewick, but destruction west of the Cascades could have a major impact of the economy of inland areas. -- you should probably precede this with "should the next earthquake occur"

Demographics

25.7% of all households were made up of individuals -- do you mean single individuals
cite needed for 2000 census

Economy

Irrigation has further enhanced the region, further diversifying the product coming from the Columbia Basin. -- specify; enhanced the region's what? what product?
Despite this growth, unemployment remains above both the national and state averages. -- give example in a particular year
residents who commute to those areas for work. -- I assume you mean who commute from Kennewick?

More later. --truflip99 (talk) 19:23, 19 April 2020 (UTC)

Culture

The most significant of these is the Tri-Cities Water Follies -- sounds like opinion; if it's the largest, then better to just say that (with source)

Sports

I would make Spots a sub of Sulture as it isn't that big
The other significant professional sports team in the Tri-Cities, the Tri-City Dust Devils (associated with the San Diego Padres) plays at Gesa Stadium in Pasco. -- omit significant; say that it is a farm team

Parks and rec

which was placed in the southeast corner of the complex as a memorial to the victims of the September 11 attacks in 2001. -- was, as in no longer there?

Education

Vocational programs at Tri-Tech firefighting, radio broadcasting, and auto body technology. -- fragment sentence
address the unreliable source tag

Media

make this a sub of the Culture sub

Refs

Ref 8: not a valid url
Ref 10: need author, date, access date
Mass, Cliff (2008). -- unacceptable formatting; need to use either WP:CITESHORT or WP:IBID
Ref 127: unacceptable formatting, use citeweb tp
Ref 128: access date