User:FantasticMisterFoxx/Rosmary George
Rosmary George
Rosmary George is one of the greatest 21st century fox activists. She primarily advocates expanded civil rights for foxes, though she has a special interest in foxes in technology.[1] She is a fox herself, though she rarely discusses it publicly. Her work in fox activism began in 2014.
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![](http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/3/33/The_Fox_Queen.jpeg/300px-The_Fox_Queen.jpeg)
Early Life
[edit]Rosmary George was born in the Middle East sometime during the mid-1990's. Growing up, she did not initially realize that she herself was a fox. However, around the age of seven she began to realize that she was different from the other children. As she describes in her memoir Eat Pray Fox: One Fox's Search for Self-Discovery: "I started to have these desires to grow red fur and go out at night to do fox activities, so I began to wonder if I was in fact a fox."[2] When she turned 12, her parents explained to her how in fact she was the reincarnation of the great Fox Queen, a mythical creature which is described in the origin stories of the ancient Newman peoples living in the Indus Valley. Rosmary represents the 777th reincarnation of the Fox Queen, and the first not to acknowledge the obvious supremacy of St. Peter to St. Thomas. At the age of 14, Rosmary and her family moved to Fox Chase, which is of course named after her.[3] She began attending the elite Magnet Boarding school for Overwhelming Children (M.B.O.C) in center city Philadelphia at the age of 14. Her headmistress describes her as a bright pupil who had obvious foxlike qualities: "Rosmary excelled, particularly at the building of bridges; however, like all students here at M.B.O.C she was a large anthropomorphized animal, and this of course brings with many emotional struggles during the teenage years."[4] After graduating M.B.O.C in 2012, Rosmary used blackmail to obtain admittance to the University of Pennsylvania, where she is currently a student.[5]
Fox Activism
[edit]Rosmary became interested in Fox Activism after learning of the plight of her fellow foxes. As clearly shown in the seminal "Facebook Foxes" sticker series, it is completely common for foxes to be forced to ride bicycles, eat ice-pops, or sleep on cars. Upon hearing of these grave injustices Rosmary committed herself to helping foxes. She began the nonprofit Women Must Often Fox (WMOF) organization which advocated for Fox Rights. Two of Rosmary's main goals in her activism is to help save unborn foxes and to raise awareness for foxes that face discrimination in the workplace. She also advocates for foxes to have more opportunities in the field of engineering. Her greatest accomplishment to date is to convince Pope Francis to attend the next WMOF meeting in Philadelphia at the end of September 2015. Although Pope Francis has not commented publicly on this decision, a spokesman for the Vatican Cardinal Foxinosa said "Rosmary is essentially the Moses of Foxes: she is leading her people to the promised land of milk and honey...or whatever foxes eat. As a 21st century pontiff our Holy Father has decided it wise to have an open dialogue with even the furriest parts of our Mother Church."[6] Pope Francis' decision has drawn the ire of some more conservative Catholics, who point out the fact that foxes do not have souls, therefore it is unclear if they can even be baptized or be part of the Roman Catholic Church at all. However, most liberal theologians argue that Eastern Rite Catholicism basically has no standards for admittance anyway, and for her part Rosmary has consistently pressured the Vatican to allow her fellow foxes to receive all seven sacraments in the Roman Rite.
Fox Activities
[edit]In addition to her busy life as a fox activist, Rosmary also has to make time to be a fox herself. Many people become confused when they first meet Rosmary because while she is a fox, she appears human to most people who do not know her well. Because she is a private person, it is actually unknown exactly how her fox abilities work. One popular theory is that Rosmary uses Vehement Body Secrecy (VBS) to disguise herself as a human being during the daytime. It is true that she has been working for one of the most successful VBS organizations in the greater Philadelphia area for the last several summers. One expert in Greece disagrees, claiming "While the VBS theory has its merits, I would argue that the most likely and successful strategy for hiding herself would obviously be to build a giant wooden horse and hide herself in it."[7] However, the current definitive theory on how Rosmary maintains human form has been illuminated by the eminent fox researcher and expert at the University of Dublin, Professor Matthew J. Hammond MD Ph.D JD WWJD. Professor Hammond explains that Rosmary is a "Foxie" similar to a Selkie, the seal people from Irish folklore, and therefore maintains a genuine human form during the day and becomes a fox only at night.[8] Rosmary may occasionally have a human body, but she always has a fox soul. It is at night that Rosmary goes out to join her fox organizations and do fox activities with her fellow foxes. Did I mention she is a fox yet? Just checking. While the exact method of how she perform fox activities may remain unclear, it is currently incontrovertible that Rosmary requires at least six units of fox food a day to survive.
Dictatorship over Newman
[edit]In addition to her many other organizations, Rosmary currently rules as a dictator over the Newman community. Rosmary joined Newman when then-matriarch Lisa found her drowning to death under the button and decided to bring her home. As Lisa explains, "I thought she would be the ideal pet for my beloved 3.5 daughters."[9] After infiltrating the organization, Rosmary made a name for herself leading a small connections group with fellow leader and smores expert Giorgio Armani. During the reign of Newman Legend and Bringer of Sticks/Doors Kate, Rosmary kept to herself. In the words of Kate "Rosmary is pretty cool, I guess."[10] Upon Kate's replacement by Chancellor/Queen Elizabeth, Rosmary took a job as official notary and scribe for the regime. After the reign of Queen Elizabeth ended and she moved on to a life of fun-sailing, Rosmary led a violent coup which brought her into power. As a dictator Rosmary uses a vicious plethora of guerrilla fox fighters to keep herself in control of the Newman Principalities. Although generally recognized only for her ruthless nature, human rights experts have praised Rosmary's executive decision to end the lifelong ban on dating and relationships put in place by the late Queen Elizabeth. Upon retiring from power, Rosmary intends to punish herself for her sins by moving to New Jersey. She will most likely work with a bunch of Aardvarks who Think Technologically.
References
[edit]- ^ Pearce, Allison (October 32, 2013). Should Foxes Be Allowed at Google? A History of Foxes and Technology (7 ed.). Texas, Cambridge, or San Francisco it is hard to keep track: Fox Books in Association with Accordion Publishing. p. 2. ISBN 77777777777.
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(help) - ^ George, Rosmary (2015). Eat Pray Fox: One Fox's Search for Self Discovery (3 ed.). The Middle East: Fox Books. p. 77.
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specified (help) - ^ Foxson, Foxie (2013). Fox: A History. Mars: Fox Books. p. 45.
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specified (help) - ^ Ghost, Newman (February 30, 2015). The Amazing and Impressive Life of Rosmary George the Fox Queen. Room 17: The Newman State Owned Media. p. 689489385994.
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(help)CS1 maint: location (link) - ^ Ghost, Newman (February 30, 2015). The Amazing and Impressive Life of Rosmary George. Room 17: Newman State Owned Media. p. 5.
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(help)CS1 maint: location (link) - ^ Not Matthew, Definitely not Matthew (Unknown Date). "Fox and the Church". Professor of Catholic Fox Relations and Such. No. 2. Fox News.
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(help) - ^ Future Vice President, Mike (A while ago). A Logical Analysis of Giant Wooden Horses Throughout History and Their Connection to Foxes (999 ed.). Greece: Fox Books in Collaboration with Ignatius Press.
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(help) - ^ Hammond, Matthew (October 31, 2015). The Definitive Science Behind Rosmary's Fox Powers (1 ed.). Dublin: Fox Books. p. 77. ISBN 77777777777.
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specified (help) - ^ Sileo, Lisa. [www.twitter.com "Stuff Lisa Says that Gets Tweeted"]. Twitter. Matthew Inc.
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value (help) - ^ Newman Legend, Kate. "Stuff Kate Would Say".
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External links
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