User:Iazyges/Oddities

Just funny things i've come across in talk pages and article space, also a list of funny pages ive come across, this will contain profanity.

From a Talk:Louis C.K. RFC

"At some point recently, an underling at Ziff Davis had to pitch the Gawker acquisition idea to CEO Vivek Shah. As you know, underlings travel in small packs, so let me describe the way I see that meeting going down."
"Underling 1: I think we should buy Gawker’s business. It’s a perfect fit with our company."
"CEO: In what way?"
"Underling 1: Well, Ziff Davis is a digital media company that specializes in websites for consumers making important buying decisions."
"CEO: Go on."
"Underling 1: And Gawker is like a rapist eating his own vomit."
"CEO: Wait, what?"
"Underling 2: That’s not all. When you think of Gawker, you automatically think of Hulk Hogan’s penis. That’s like a celebrity endorsement without the licensing fees."
"CEO: Why in the world would we want that in our portfolio?"
"Underling 3: They get a lot of clicks."
"CEO: But reputation-wise…"
"Underling 1: Gawker isn’t the only property we’d be buying. It comes with Jezebell."
"CEO: Tell me about Jezebel."
"Underling 2: Well, Jezebel is what you’d get if a Zika virus took the wrong prescription meds, burrowed into a day-old turd, and called itself a publication."
"CEO: What would the whole thing cost?"
"Underling 3: Probably only $100 million or so."
"CEO: And what exactly would we be buying?"
"Underling 1: Well, we’d mostly be buying their talent."
"CEO: Such as?"
"Underling 2: We’d get their writers, who apparently can’t get jobs at credible publications. And we’d get an executive team that is filled with sociopaths who chose one of the rare employment situations in which you can destroy the lives of strangers from a distance."
Credit to Guy Macon for posting this.

On https://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/Proposals_for_new_projects

It seems quite possible that... the number of flying polar bears is larger than the number of websites written in ...the Friulian language.
Credit to Michael Snow

Neo-romans

https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk:99.29.153.17&oldid=282024319 "Fuck off. You are a bunch of fucking Neo roman assholes. and you have now made an enemy."

Portageville

At the end, portageville is a place of hoes and slutty teenagers. This place of saints and celluloid. https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Portageville,_Missouri&diff=prev&oldid=711769887

User:º¡º's zen like answers

Carry on, fat buddhaman! -Susan Mason

It is not the Buddha that carries on, but the on that carries Buddha. -º¡º ROFL -Susan Mason

When you ROFL, the world ROFLs with you. -º¡º Please could you add some latin characters to your sig, so we can read your name when you sign? -Tarquin

Your nature is reflected within your question. -º¡º "Long live the Gang of Four! Long live Chairman Mao!" - Oh s--t, I thought it was just a sig... -&#35918&#30505sv

It is at the moment when one ceases awareness of shit, that it is most likely to be stepped in. -º¡º 远看不是屎，近看不是屎，捡起来看还不是屎，放在嘴里尝一尝才领悟是屎。 -Beiguo

Only by tasting it may we avoid stepping in it. -º¡º My browser doesn't see the chinese figures. I don't want you to quit using them, I just wanna know how I can see them. -Susan Mason

A browser that sees is like a dog that talks, the fact that it exists is more disturbing than what it has to say. -º¡º One cannot visit www.netscape.com twice and still get the same thing. -Beiguo

Can one visit it once and get the same thing? -º¡º Could you refrain from using words like "whitewash" to describe the work of others? That word implies an intent to mislead and downplay negative aspects of something. When it is used against a user who did not have such an intention it is likely to lead to hurt feelings. -mav

Does intent to wag lie in the tail, the dog, or the boy with the food? -º¡º I'm jealous that you're BigFatBuddha and I'm not. Best wishes. -Arthur

I too am jealous that you are not BigFatBuddha. -º¡º 尼甫言男人挑女人上田男人有安上土 -&#35918&#30505sv

I'm not that kind of Buddha. -º¡º Fat Buddha, why a mouse when in spins? -Tarquin

The walrus barks "higher is fewer". -º¡º なつのはなはだれのはいくですか -ちき

Sodesune -º¡º I shall add, this beast hates the Soul. -Wanli

Take care that the beast does not destroy the man in you. -º¡º In my opinion, the underlying picture should only be changed if it's a better quality version of the same thing. -Martin

How can things change for the better if they stay the same? -º¡º Why do you change between Unicode 161 (¡) and 9635 (▣) for your nose? -Geoffrey

Because Tarquin asked me to. -º¡º Thanks for adding that map of Iraq. It really helps us visualize the places named in the 2003 invasion of Iraq article. -Uncle Ed

I am humbly corrected. My map does nothing to help visualize places. It only helps to visualize a map. -º¡º The browser helps to visualise the map; the map only helps to visualise the names as places.Harry Potter 21:51 20 Jun 2003 (UTC) When you're paddling down the street in your canoe, and the wheels fall off, how many pancakes does it take to make a doghouse? -Stephen Gilbert

Only one, but the pancake must be doghouse shaped to begin with. -º¡º Is it the Buddha who is big and fat, or is it the Buddha's fat that is big? -Stephen Gilbert

It is not the Buddha that is BigFat, but the nature of Buddha that is BigFat. -º¡º I don't think that it is a good idea for you to change other people's comments. Perhaps you should change them back. -snoyes

There are many things that should perhaps be done, but far fewer that ever will be. -º¡º Oh BigFatBuddha, are not the words that I speak jewels to be treasured? -Martin

Indeed Martin, they sparkle in the light and provide wealth to the beholder. -º¡º If Bush speaks in a forest, and there is no liberal there to hear, is he still wrong? -Uncle Ed

Only if he speaks the words of Clinton. -º¡º How do you know that Buddha was a Buddhist? -º¡º

If Buddha was, then Bodhi was not what you thought it was. -Usedbook Code point 0x1B3C is undefined. Please enlighten me with the zen behind the unreadable signature! -67.117.82.5

Do you believe that sixty-nine equals ninety-six? -º¡º That which is softly secured is nevertheless secured. -Martin

As with cheese, there are many levels of firmness. -º¡º And yet the hardest cheese is not the best cheese. -Stephen Gilbert

The protected cheese may only be eaten by superusers, the rest cannot comment on the flavor. -º¡º Nice addition to Freedom fries. -Kingturtle

Is not the name of a thing a different thing then the thing? -º¡º I am what I am, and Tannin is what he is, and I was unaware that we were the same person. -Martin

While we may all be the same in the great wheel of life, this was just a BadBuddhism. -º¡º I appreciate the effort on the SARS table, but it still looks big to me. -Someone Else

Perhaps it would look smaller if you stood further from your monitor? -º¡º Why is anti-Americanism the fault of Americans, while anti-Francism is also the fault of the Americans? -Zoe

You have tickled the Buddha inside. -º¡º The cause of this is known to non-americans to be the Americans. -VdSV9 A wheat plant growing in a corn field is a weed. -Anthere

Even a corn plant growing in a corn field is a weed, if it is the wrong sort of corn. -º¡º The Buddha is more man than I! -John Owens

The Man is more I than Buddha. -º¡º Good work on the First Lady proposal. -ÉÍREman

I hope we are in harmony. -º¡º Are you removing all instances of "refers to"? -Camembert

Not all, only some, and perhaps poorly. -º¡º I never before noticed that weakness in my writing. -Arthur

Your writing is strong, it is the language that is weak. -º¡º Are you redirecting "football" to "sport"? -Ams80

I am redirecting "cat whiskers" to "cat". -º¡º This redirect is doubly stupid. -Anthere

Do two stupids make a smart? -º¡º I suggest that people may wish to AssumeGoodFaith. -Martin

In this suggestion we are in harmony. -º¡º Edit links are good things. -Mav

Only when they are good, or the bad ones too? -º¡º Why do you keep making such terribly short stubs? -LittleDan

I do not know how to make terribly long ones. -º¡º Hey, revert me all you want. At this point, I really don't give a damn. -Zoe

Three naked birds, even named twice, make only one omelet. -º¡º Is your new signature a concession to the pro-ASCII lobbyists? -Martin

It is not a concession to the pro-EBCDIC lobbyists. -º¡º I want what you sign to match your actual username in some way. - Tarquin

This will trouble you no more. -º¡º How exactly do you pronounce "º¡º"? -Wesley

The same as I pronounce the sunlight shining on my face.-º¡º We should have a privacy policy. -Martin

A policy is only as weak as those who ignore it. -º¡º Hope you're having a nice break, hope you come back soon. -Martin

I've wandered far afield, and am likely not to return. My illusions were reduced when I found the mailing list, and found how little was thought of me. -º¡º please accept my apologies then. ant May your wanderings bring you to lands more appreciative of your talent. -Martin Your name looks like a male penis - VdSV9

Nevertheless it does not look like a female penis. Could you refrain from using these usernames and the words you used to describe the world? It's very racist.

96.242.88.189 (talk) 2:46 pm, 23 February 2014, Sunday (2 years, 7 months, 1 day ago) (UTC−6)

Editor dislikes the new creating your first article screen

I've been editing for 12 years, and started a few hundered articles. Today, for the first time, whenever I start a new article, HALF OF MY SODDING SCREEN IS TAKEN UP BY A "Before you edit your first article..." message, which message is so far from welcome as to make me wish those responsible could be immediately be wheeled out behind the wikipedia building and summararily shot. Can we please not pull this sort of stunt? Can we please put even a jot of thought into thee things before we do them? 1. Who is responsible? 2. Where is the discussion? 3. Why am I being served with an inappropriate and useless and screen-obscuring message each and every time I create an article? 4. Why should I have to do something extra (preview) to get back to normality. Bad bad bad bad bad. --Tagishsimon (talk) 6:04 pm, Today (UTC−5) https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Wikipedia%3AVillage_pump_%28policy%29&type=revision&diff=743117011&oldid=743108967

Den of pigs

PLEASE DO NOT malicious ly reverse the edits of another user and vandalize their talkpage. this is a community, not a crazy den of pigs. Smith Jones (talk) 12:09 am, 20 June 2008, Friday (8 years, 3 months, 22 days ago) (UTC−5)

https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk:NewUser7&diff=next&oldid=220506353

Willy on Wheels

When Do i get payed?

When do I start getting paid for this? --Bridge Boy (talk) 4:50 pm, 12 May 2012, Saturday (4 years, 4 months, 30 days ago) (UTC−5) https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk:Bridge_Boy&diff=prev&oldid=492267727

The forbidden Assyrian genesis

Look above. He's banned. Ancient sockpuppeteer and longtime mysticist POV-pusher apparently, obsessed with the claiming Serbian origins for parts of neighboring peoples and... Assyrians, oddly enough. Fascinating case really. Wiki has all the most interesting people.-- User:Calthinus|Calthinus 05:30, 24 April 2018 (UTC)

Apple

This is the true Vice President. Stop sabotaging progress, the impact Apple has made for the past decade is equivalent to what Bilal achieved in 2 months. He has been rallying Apple Support advisors, community managing on the Discord to spark innovation in a sea of mediocre conversations about materialism. And of course the article he wrote titled "Dear Apple Users" was what put Apple Inc. back on track. By the power invested I will report you for treason if you disobey. Do not interfere with Earth's growth. Wikipedia is notorious for not allowing a change of narrative. Well now is the perfect time to comply with me. Dont follow suite of your peers. The old guard must fall. They have sucked our souls and left us forgetting our values. This ends now so stand down. I repeat stand down! 50.98.184.111 (talk) 4:51 pm, 2 February 2023