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"Canada's armorial arms consists of a beaver resplendent beneath a thistle apparent, adjoined by a lion rampant, a muskrat lethargic and maples redundant, bordered with guile superlicious and garlands uncertain...unless it is on display in a Governor General's procession in a month beginning on a Tuesday, if the procession is preceded by a duke or nobleman of lesser bloodline, but not by a standard-bearer of a third-order gene recessive, in which case the pattern is reversed and all bets are off."