User talk:Aguyer
Review of your Article about Lupinus mutabilis by Michael Mannale --Mannalem (talk) 16:03, 15 November 2012 (UTC)
- My personal opinion is that the first few sentence above the Conten-Box should give a short overview about the biology plant, the difference to the other plant species of its family, how it is used for... Don't tell only about the plant as an Alternative crop. Make distinct statements. ("could be" is not a very good statement for an encyclopedia)
But there are other interesting aspects why Lupinus mutabilis could be an important international crop. - This sentence is judgmental and indistinct. Delete it or make a clearer statement about the other interesting aspects. I think it is better to describe the potential importance some where in the text below. --Mannalem (talk) 16:58, 15 November 2012 (UTC)
'Biology' -I would suggest you to write first some obvious staff which are unique for this subspecies and then go into detail. E.g.: How can I distinguish it from oder species, what is special about it regarding other plant of the same family? The information about the number of chromosomes could be told a little later. In general the sentence are a little choppy.
My suggestion for to improve this content: Lupinus mutabilis is an annual herbal plant. The steam is hollow and highly branched. Plant hight reaches from 0.5 to 2.80 meter, depending on the environmental condition and the genomic properties. Due to the higher vegetative growth, species from northern South America reach higher altitudes than species from the south.[3] The genome contains 2n = 48 chromosomes and there is a high genomic variation which lead to big differences in morphology. Several archtectural tiype exists of L. mutabilis. Most common is the branching in V-form, which has the highest biomass production. The basal branching type has the positive feature that its infructescence is at the same level (of what?). This species is preferably promoted because of its early ripening and the homogeny seed quality.[3] --Mannalem (talk) 16:58, 15 November 2012 (UTC)
Use
- Arrange the content in a bette order.
1. Human consumption
2. Green Manure and Soil Improver
3. Compunds (with table)
My suggestion to improve this content: Human consumption The bone-white seed has been used as a food by Andean people since ancient times, especially in soups, stews, salads and by itself mixed with boiled maize. Like other legumes, its protein is rich in the essential amino acid lysine. It has a soft seed coat that makes for easy cooking.
It may have not been more widely used because it is bitter taste, due to the alkaloid content. For lupines it contains unusually high, amounts of sparteine, which make up nearly half its alkaloid content. However, the alkaloids are water-soluble and can be removed by soaking the seeds for some days in water. It is also possible to remove the alkaloids by denaturation with heat treatment.[2]
Green Manure and soil improver As a legume, Lupinus mutabilis is able to fix Nitrogen from the air. Succeeding cultures can profit of 60 to 140 kg nitrogen per hectare. Incorporated in the flowering stage it also can raise the quantity of organic matter and improve the soil structure.[2]
Compounds L. mutabilis contians 42% of protein and 18% of fat in average. [3] The high fat content has allowed commercial oil pressing. The protein digestibility and nutritional value are reportedly similar to those in soybeans.
--> table Contents int the seed --Mannalem (talk) 16:58, 15 November 2012 (UTC)
Agricultural Aspects
Soil and climate requirements
-is the cold-tolerance only for the sub species L. mutabilis or is it the same for all lupinus? Maybe you can mention this in your text.--Mannalem (talk) 16:58, 15 November 2012 (UTC)
Sowing
-make a gap between the traditional farming practices and the improved cultivation.
My suggestion to improve the text: Traditional farming practices Before sowing minimum tillage is done. As a second step the sowing of 100 to 120 kg unselected seed per hectare is done.
Improved cultivation practices It is recommended apply 80 kg Phosphorus and 60 kg of Potassium as Fertilizer before sowing. Than the sowoing could be done eighter by hand sowing or by seed drill. Therefore 90 kg selected seed is sown in a row distance of 60 to 80 cm. Plants usually germinate fast due to the high fat content in the seeds.[1] --Mannalem (talk) 16:58, 15 November 2012 (UTC)
Harvest "Yield is variable and depends on soil, nutrient availability and environmental conditions." -This sentence could be deleted! That's general for all plants.--Mannalem (talk) 16:58, 15 November 2012 (UTC)
Disease control' - I don't get what you really mean with the following sentence. it is very long. Did you not already wrote this before? "In case that seed production that is done by the cultivator, diseases can be controlled by reducing the number of seed that are infected and by a permanent control of diseases in the field and the removal of infected plants.
- The following content should be placed together with the first sentence or in the next capture "Breeding goals" "Breeding of disease resistance and tolerance seems to be a promising tool for disease control in the future."
--Mannalem (talk) 16:03, 15 November 2012 (UTC)
A kitten for you! hihi:-)
[edit]![](http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/7/75/Cute_grey_kitten.jpg/150px-Cute_grey_kitten.jpg)
Ich habe so eben deinen Wikipedia Artikel "reviewed". Ich habe alles im "Talk" geschrieben. Gruss Michi
Mannalem (talk) 16:06, 15 November 2012 (UTC)
Review by Siebemat
[edit]A lot of interesting additional information!
In general
Try to start your sentences with the essential informations! Start sentence not with a hint to another part of the article, maybe some readers are not interested to read the whole article and look only for some specific information. If poosible, reduce the lenght of your sentences and try to implement the writing style of a "common" wikipedia article.
As mannalem has already commented a lot on structural chances I will concentrate a bit more on orthografical aspects.
Contents
- 1 Origin and dissemination ---> no capital "d"
- 5 External links ---> no capital "l"
Origin and dissemination
- There was found the greatest genetic variability of Lupinus mutabilis in the world ---> rewrite
- (e.g. In this area, the greatest genetic variability of Lupinus mutabilis was found in the world.)
- The plant has been domesticated for more than 1500 years ___
- ...,especially for its high protein content. ---> rewrite (e.g. mostly because of its high protein content)
Biology
- Depending on the genomic properties and environmental conditions height reaches from 0.5 to 2.80 meters. ---> rewrite
- In general species from northern South America reach higher... --->reach ?
- Genomic variation is big and therefore morphology varies too. ---> unclear, rewrite
- There exist several architectural types. ---> is arcitectural appropriate in this context?
-This type has the positive feature that infructescence is at the same level. Therefore this species is preferable. Other reasons to boost this type are early ripening and stability and homogeneity of the quality of seeds.
- ---> Very long sentences with a lot of "and". Maybe a better word than "boost".
Morphology
- Leaves are palmate and have a typical appearance. ---> explain more, what typical appearance
Development
- The growing cycle...
- Phenological phases are: emergence,... ---> Other word ?
Green manure and soil improver
- ---> no capital "m" in manure
- As a legume... ---> rewrite (is this important?)
- Succeeding cultures can profit of 60 to 140 kg nitrogen per hectare. ---> Where is the nitrogene, in the plant, the soil,...?
- Incorporated in the flowering stage it also can raise the quantity of organic matter and improve the soil structure. ---> rewrite, not fluent to read
Soil and climate requirements
- Lupinus mutabilis is a crop for cool climates and exists mainly in cool valleys at high altitude, such as the Andes at tropical latitudes. ---> cool, cool valleys, rewrite sentence
Sowing
- is there an other farming practice than traditional?
- seeds
- Sawing of 90 kg selected seed in a distance of 60 to 80 cm then is done. ---> rewrite
Crop rotation aspects
- Early varieties of Lupinus mutabilis, with a growing period of about 150 days, can be cultivated in ___ rotation with potatos and cereals.
- Nematode disease of potato can be controlled by alkaloids when potato is cultivated after Lupinus mutabilis. ---> rewrite
Harvest
- In traditional farming practices harvest occurs when plants have reached full maturity. ---> is there a modern practice?
- Harvest at a water content of 8-12%. --->water content of what?
- The yield is variable and depends on soil, nutrient availability and environmental conditions. From peasant plots average yield is about 500 to 1000 kg per hectare (finish sentence) under suitable conditions yield reaches up to 3500 kg per hectare.
Disease control
- ...breeding goals aim to a low alkaloid content ---> rewrite
- A reduction of soil born saprophytes can be reached by removing dry straw from the field.
- In case that seed production that is done by the cultivator, diseases can be controlled by reducing the number of seed that are infected and by a permanent control of diseases in the field and the removal of infected plants. ---> what do you want to say, rewrite and shorten or split in different sentences
- Another possibility is to treat seeds with a fungicide prior to sawing.
Breeding goals
- no reference to other parts of the article (since... blablabla is ...)
- ...but not in the seeds.