User talk:Azurashi
First Message
[edit]If I could give you cookies I would.TeaglesCS (talk) 17:53, 19 February 2016 (UTC)
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Joeyw526 (talk) 17:55, 19 February 2016 (UTC)
RaggyMan was here — Preceding unsigned comment added by RaggyMan (talk • contribs) 17:58, 19 February 2016 (UTC)
Welcome!
[edit]Hello, Azurashi, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Ian and I work with the Wiki Education Foundation; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.
I hope you enjoy editing here. If you haven't already done so, please check out the student training library, which introduces you to editing and Wikipedia's core principles. You may also want to check out the Teahouse, a community of Wikipedia editors dedicated to helping new users. Below are some resources to help you get started editing.
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If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Ian (Wiki Ed) (talk) 19:40, 19 February 2016 (UTC)
Peer Review Round 2
[edit]One thing I would suggest for this article is to remove the definition section. I feel like this part of the article could probably be incorporated within the first paragraph before the table of contents. I think this would make the article flow a bit more.
In areas of applications, some areas are worded a bit oddly. For example, when you begin to list what they have been developed for, you then start in the middle of a sentence.
For the history section, are the 1500s, 1600s and the like needed? I feel the sections do not really offer anything the the article in general. Perhaps you can expand on them, or delete them in general.
Some areas in the history seem like they need citations.
In the 2010s sections, some things are relating to the present tense. However, later on this won't be a case, perhaps you can change the tense in the 2010 section?
As you mentioned in your comments, the commercialization section seems overwhelming. If you just split up into multiple subsections, perhaps by company or year, it will make it easier to get through.