User talk:Cricha09

This user is a student editor in University_of_Guelph/Pet_Nutrition_(Fall) .

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Hello, Cricha09, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Ian and I work with the Wiki Education Foundation; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.

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If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Ian (Wiki Ed) (talk) 02:27, 17 October 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Reply

What article are you planning to expand? Thanks. Ian (Wiki Ed) (talk) 21:54, 27 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Hi Ian, We aren't expanding on a page, the plan was to create our own on hypoallergenic dog food. The page is in my sandbox, we were hoping you could look it over? thanks, Cricha09 (talk) 22:27, 27 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Feedback

I strongly recommend expanding the Allergies in dogs article instead.

If you choose to create a new article, you need to make sure that you have a lead section that sumamrises all the major points in the article, in a balanced fashion. (If you expand the allergies in dogs article, you need to make sure that the lead reflects the additions you made to the article.)

I would move the "nutrients" section down, and the diet types up, and change "nutrients to look for" to something that doesn't tell the reader what to do - like maybe just "nutrients".

Go for more direct factual statements. Your goal is fairly spare prose that says what the facts are, it doesn't try to convince the reader, one way or the other. For example

One method that may be used to try and combat this immunologic response in dogs with food allergies is the use of hydrolyzed proteins in the diet.

could be re-written as something more like

Hydroluzed proteins can be used to combat immunologic responses in dogs with food allergies.

Ian (Wiki Ed) (talk) 21:00, 29 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]