User talk:Douglmai
This user is a student editor in Oregon_State_University/HST_310_The_Historian's_Craft_(Winter_2020) . |
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[edit]Hello, Douglmai, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Shalor and I work with Wiki Education; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.
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If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 19:59, 12 February 2020 (UTC)
Peer Review - Tanveer Sandhu
[edit]Hi Maiya,
Nice job on your article! Here is my review.
- How could your peer improve the lead? Is it essential to mention "one year after the assassination of Abraham Lincoln?" I don't think the article has much to do Abrahram Lincoln. If it does, then maybe add why Lincoln was especially important to the attendees of the convention?
- Is the overall article structure clear? It is clear and easy to follow, but were there only two meetings for the entire convention? Not to say yours did, but my convention had six meetings. If there were more, then maybe you could mention something about those?
- Is there balanced coverage of the topic? Is the tone neutral? I thought the tone was neutral, and did not sense any bias. I liked that you used a newspaper as a source.
- Are the sources reliable?
I think the sources you used were both reliable and trustworthy and I liked how used a variety: the minutes, journals and books.
- What proofreading or writing suggestions do you have to improve the article? Your grammar was good and the story was easy to read with little to no typos.
- What other things would you add or fix in the article? The first section, Jan. 10 1866 just describes general formatting and rule setting. Maybe you could delve deeper into this day of the convention--what came out of it, what did people talk about, etc. Otherwise, great job with your article! SandhuT (talk) 04:49, 14 March 2020 (UTC) Tanveer Sandhu
Prof. Smith comments on first draft of Wikipedia article
[edit]Hi Maiya,
I think you're off to a very good start with this article. There are just a few things that I would like to see you work on for the final draft.
1)I think the lead needs to be more general and straightforward. If you look at several Wikipedia articles, you'll see that they really just state the most basic facts in the lead, and in a short sentence. I would go with something like:" The Georgia State Freedmen’s Conventions of 1866 were the first statewide meetings of African Americans to discuss civil and political rights after emancipation and the end of the Civil War."
I would put a sentence like that at the very top as your lead, between the page title and the overview section. It will help get the basic information at the very start of the article. Then, you may need to modify your "Overview" section a little to cut out any repetition with the lead.
3) Remember that you need to have a least three sources for your article. I only see citations to two sources right now. Maybe some of the sources in your preliminary bibliography could be cited in different places?
4) On a similar note, you don't have that many citations throughout the entire essay. Remember that, as with a history paper, you need to cite your sources whenever possible. Use the citation tool in Wikipedia to your advantage. See the article template that I handed out in class.
5) I would like to see one last heading at the end of your article, something like "Outcomes of the Convention" or "Legacies." You do a great job explaining what happened day-by-day, but the reader doesn't really get a sense of what the big picture outcome of the convention was. Can you summarize a few key important outcomes at the end of the article to make it clearer what the convention accomplished?
6) Finally, were African American women involved in the convention at all? Our partner website, the Colored Conventions Project, really wants us to add material on women whenever possible. Please check your minutes again on this point and include information on women if possible.StaceySmithOSU (talk) 15:35, 15 March 2020 (UTC)
Healy feedback from peer review
[edit]Your lead is solid. I don't think it needs much improvement. The only suggestion would be to include hyperlinks to other wikipedia articles for people like Lincoln and the other leaders of the convention if they have pages. The overall structure is done well. I think it was a good idea to split the two conventions on different dates into their own sections for clarity. The tone is sufficiently neutral. I didn't get in indication of bias, just a straightforward explanation of what occurred at the conventions. The only real suggestions I would have is to add hyperlinks to things throughout the article. You reference Robert's Rules of Order which I had to look up because I wasn't sure what it was. It has a wiki page so you could link to that and do the same for anyone in the article you mention that has a wiki page. Also you only use your references one time each. You could use those more than once, like in the "Overview" section when you mention the date of the convention you could cite the minutes of the proceedings. Healym24 (talk) 17:47, 12 March 2020 (UTC) — Preceding unsigned comment added by StaceySmithOSU (talk • contribs)