User talk:Ollin nahui
Moving proposal forward
[edit]Hi, Ollin nahui! Congratulations on getting your proposal finished. I agree that the youth article is quite underdeveloped and lacks sources that frame perspectives from the global south. The next, urgent, task is to create your list of sources. This will help you know how to proceed. I suggest looking for an article by Bucholtz from the Annual Review of Anthropology (if you email me I can send it to you). I think you could tackle two or three sections of the youth article as well as the lead paragraph to successfully complete the project. Good luck - consult with me as needed! Please post your sources as soon as you can. Prof.Vandegrift (talk) 15:25, 4 October 2014 (UTC)
Sandbox feedback
[edit]I know that youth is hard to define, but it may be helpful to give a general age range of what constitutes youth. A lot of your classmates have used Furlong's definition for youth. I would recommend the same.
In what ways is your terminology and definitions section different from the lead-in? There seems to me to be a lot of repetition in the two sections right now. Maybe condense your lead-in paragraph to avoid redundancies?
I think it may also be helpful from a structural standpoint to reorganize mortality, obesity, and YRBSS into one larger group that you could call 'health'. To me, all of the topics fall under this larger umbrella of concern.
Can you find statistics about childhood obesity from other parts of the world? I worry that by starting the article with statistics about the US and then not giving other statistics from other places, it falls into systemic bias.
The bullying section is also fairly long. I would recommend condensing this topic by eliminating the section about its definition. Most readers are likely familiar with the idea and if they want to find out more, they can always visit a page about bullying.