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Polygamy

Is the current generation just ignorant of the advantages and joys of polygamy or is the practice of polygamy just an immoral way of living.

Definition/explanation of the contentious topic

Polygamy has existed before this generation and among several civilizations as well as other Religions such as Islam. Polygamy was practiced in the past by many successful leaders, and rulers. It was in many cultures a normal and respected family set up. The generations born before world war two, and the baby boomers born after the Second World War, thus between 1948 to 1965 are the most likely generations that practice and support polygamy. As of late the generation has almost totally stopped practicing polygamy and it is currently viewed as an old uncivilized way of living. My question is, if it worked for all the successful man in the past. For example the likes of King David in the Holy Bible 2 in verses found in the book of Samuel 5:13, President Mobutu Seseseko of the then ‘Zaire’ but currently known as the Democratic Republic of Congo, President Jacob Zuma of South Africa, King Mswati of Swaziland, king Goodwill Zwelithini of the Zulu clan in KZN, who happens to be a direct descendent of Shaka Zulu kaSenzangakhona has six wives. Why can it not work for every other family? The Zulu Kingdom is one of the most successful and well known African kingdoms. The questions are “Were those leaders uncivilized and immoral or they were practicing what every other men wants but has no courage and the power to do so?” Cultures; the Zulu culture E.g. King Goodwill Zwelithini has six wives, same goes for President Jacob Zuma also with six wives, and both respected man. Religions Muslims and the Mormons also believe and encourage polygamy. Take for instance the Quran 30:21 ‘and of his signs is that he created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought? Christian Lamech took him two wives, the name of one was Adah and the other Zillah 1 king11:3/ Gen 4:19

Presentation of contradicting topics

In support of polygamy

Sometimes, due to medical reasons or any other reasons, women find themselves unable to bear any offspring and some men would leave them for a fertile woman who will bear his offspring, polygamy saves such women from shame and a lonely ending in in that the other ‘sister ‘wives/s will bear children and she can be a part of their lives and forget her own fruitlessness. With the current epidemic of HIV/ AIDS being caused or increased by men and women who wander from their marriages and engage in multiple partners, polygamy, if practiced in the proper manner like it used to be in the past, can save a lot of people from being infected, in that if a husband has three wives and they all engage with him alone and he , with them alone, they can keep their circle free from contracting the virus unlike if a man just wanders from his marriage and multiple partners who also have their other partners. Also with the current world of equal rights and gender equality, women find themselves working eight hour jobs and by the time they get back home after work they are exhausted and it is difficult to cope with all the house chores. Polygamy can be advantageous in that the women can help each other with all the house hold work and taking care of the children. In the past women used to work all day in the fields and those in a polygamous marriage would be able to help each other with the house chores after a long day at the fields. In a monogamous relationship, the wife might end up going to bed in the middle of the night when everyone else is already asleep in order for her to finish all her chores and be able to face the next day, there by depriving the husband of attention and quality time with his wife. The population of man is ways way less than that of women that is why you find most women knowingly and unlawfully in an affair with a married man and that ends up in squabbles and broken marriages but if both partners knowingly and willingly enter into a marriage with the full awareness of the possibility of polygamy, then more women might find themselves homes with the men they love and can take care of instead of having a lot of single mothers out there. The fact is that you cannot tell the other women with no partner to just disregard her emotions and desire or to just engage in homosexuality. She also needs attention from men. Polygamy helps to bring all those women together and more women get the love and attention they need in a lawful civilized manner. In the past, polygamy was a symbol of success. The more money, the more wives, meaning, as the saying goes, ‘behind every successful man there is a strong woman. So the more wives, the more success a man can generate. Unlike the men in a monogamous marriage, the men in a polygamous relationship are satisfied because one wife makes up for the shortfall of the other and there is always someone to give him some attention. Polygamy also brings along different people with different personalities. Like the saying goes, the more the merrier. Polygamy is has a capability of bringing that into a family and if two are fighting, there is always a shoulder to cry on and advise and support. It is a fact that most men, at some time in their marriage, wander off and have extra marital affairs. He simply cannot be satisfied with one partner, it is better for him to have a polygamous marriage than continue seeking solace from different women, there by defiling the very existed of his marriage and bring diseases to the faithful unsuspecting wife. Tell me, why the world would legalize Homosexuality and not polygamy. Who is judge to say one is better than the other? In polygamy, a person is restricting himself to his responsibilities and commitment since he has to be with his wives and treat them co-equally in everything. To that he is just establishing a bigger family and limiting himself to an honest acceptable relation. That is simply honorable.

Arguments AGAINST polygamy

Naturally, no man or woman wants to share a partner, more so a husband, that is why you find , especially of late, men butchering women after suspecting them of having another affair of finding them with other men in compromising positions. Take for instance the Namibian newspaper dated 30 July 2012, where a man shot his girlfriend to death of her face after finding her in bed with another man. Polygamy brings along all the fighting and resentment in the daily lives of some women. Unlike in a monogamy where the woman might find peace and quiet in her house, women are constantly reminded of the fact that the other woman down the passage shares the love and attention of her husband and there is no running away from that fact. It is more painful for the first wife seeing her husband marrying young beautiful women while she herself has aged because of bearing children for this mankind a polygamous marriage there is bound to be more children and women to support and if they are all not employed, it can be a burden for the man to cope alone, thereby building even more anger and resentment in the men. Some wives who bring a long a contribution to the household will then be favored above the others .A man of multiple wives, like for instance King Mswati of Swaziland who currently has thirteen wives cannot possible satisfy all the women to their every need. He can be rich and be able to satisfy them with money but lack in other aspects. That is why now and again you hear that one of the royal wives has been caught giving ‘favors ‘to other men or that the royal wife has fled the royal house hold. His sixth wife, Angela Dhlamini, even went to the extent of fleeing the monarch/ Royal house hold because she cannot bear the loneliness as the husband never gives her attention. She calls it ‘emotional abuse’. She is the third wife to have left the King in recent years. Less attention is given to the wives as they have to share the attention amongst all of them. If the husband is working, it even becomes worse because he spends more time at work and when he comes home tired, the wives have to understand that she might only be able to get his attention on another day which is not known to her yet. Less time with the husband and the women can be lonely but married women. The other aspect that is common in polygamous marriages is jealousy and unshared love. Since the women by nature like to have full attention and full unshared love from her partner. Also, the family can have a lot of chaos and malfunctioning since the husband spends less times in disciplining and guiding the children and even the wives themselves. Polygamy is unfair and discriminating in that it is one sided. The husband can have more than one partner while the wife should marry only and exclusively one.

Conclusion/ Opinion

The current generation looks at polygamy with such demeanor because, higher costs of leaving, and loss of traditional values. Polygamy, if practiced accordingly, is an honorable way of living by brave and respected men at its core. It is better to be engaged in a polygamous relationship than to have a lot of extra marital affairs with lose women. In my opinion, polygamy is better and safer than having concubines’.

References

• Zulu Royal Family
• www.islamology.com
• www.sunday_world.co.za retrived on 2012-07-16
• The Holy bible
• The Namibia Newspaper