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User talk:Salmanbinsultan/sandbox

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Review

[edit]

I did some copyediting and left a few templates. Next steps could include an:

  • infobox
  • a more encyclopedic tone
  • categories
  • maybe a photo (?)
  • more links to other articles
  • when it is in mainspace, make sure it's not a Wikipedia:Orphan

-Reagle (talk) 15:34, 1 March 2017 (UTC)[reply]


I did some minor copyediting throughout. I really like this topic, the designer sounds like a cool guy. Similar to Prof Reagles' critiques above I think that you should focus on the tone of your article to make it a bit more encyclopedic. You use terms throughout that are based in perception more than fact (saying he's a successful businessman fro example) I would recommend finding interviews that he's done so that you can use his own words to get the same points across. Additionally, a photo would be a good idea and just more references throughout. I enjoyed reading, keep it up! :)

-NUrb93 — Preceding unsigned comment added by NUrb93 (talkcontribs) 16:02, 3 March 2017 (UTC)[reply]