User talk:Slaughs8639
| This user is a student editor in UC_Denver/PBHL_2052_(Spring_2018) . |
Welcome!
[edit]Hello, Slaughs8639, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Ian and I work with the Wiki Education Foundation; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.
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If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Ian (Wiki Ed) (talk) 20:52, 15 March 2018 (UTC)
Peer Review
[edit]I thought including how war affects human sex ratio was a great addition to the article! Especially since war is male dominant and had great affects on sex ratio after war. Maybe by including an example like the Paraguayan war during the 19th century, where most of the male population had died after the war was over, then all of a sudden there was a sudden increase in males being born. The exact cause for war breeding more males is unknown, but there are a lot of studies that have been done, so these studies can also be added to the article. Reasons behind the two theories could be added to further explain and help understand its correlation to war. VCS03 (talk) 05:12, 3 April 2018 (UTC)
2nd peer review:
Not bad altogether. Just make sure to really focus on punctuation. Also I would re-read and retype the last several sentences and try to reword it a little bit as it feels a little exhaustive and does not flow quite as smoothly as it could. Use more than just one source, 3 is usually a good basis, but without additional sources the validity of what you're saying diminishes. It's confusing to me when talking about Sussmilch to understand if that is a demographer and that is their name or something else entirely, be direct and type out their full name if so. The sentence after that has a quote, but the delivery would be much more effective if you just reworded what he's saying in your own voice. Overall, not bad.