User talk:Wpears2/sandbox

Homework 2/5/2015

Editing

The Louisiana Purchase page has many grammatical and clarity problems. The author should proofread their work and make changes. An example of an edit I would make is below.

The Louisiana Purchase(French: Vente de la Louisiane "Sale of Louisiana") was the acquisition of the Louisiana territory (828,000 square miles) by the United States from France in 1803. The U.S. paid fifty million francs ($11,250,000 USD) and a cancellation of debts worth eighteen million francs ($3,750,000 USD) for a total of sixty-eight million francs ($15,000,000 USD) which averages to approximately four cents per acre]. Adjusting for inflation, the modern financial equivalent spent for the Purchase of the Louisiana territory is approximately ($305 million in 2023 U.S. dollars which averages to less than forty-two cents per acre).

The Louisiana territory included land from fifteen present U.S. states and two Canadian provinces. The territory contained land that forms Arkansas, Missouri, Iowa, Oklahoma, Kansas, and Nebraska; the area of Minnesota that is west of the Mississippi River; a large portion of North Dakota; a large portion of South Dakota; the northeastern section of New Mexico; the northern portion of Texas; the area of Montana, Wyoming, and Colorado east of the Continental Divide; Louisiana (including the city of New Orleans) west of the Mississippi River; and small portions of land that form the Canadian provinces of Alberta and Saskatchewan.

France controlled the Louisiana territory from 1699 until it was ceded to Spain in 1762. In the hope of re-establishing an empire in North America, France regained control of the Louisiana territory in 1800 under the rule of Napoleon Bonaparte. A slave revolt in Haiti and an impending war with the Britain led French officials to sell the Louisiana territory to the United States, who originally sought to purchase the city of New Orleans and its adjacent lands.

The Louisiana Purchase occurred during the term of United States President Thomas Jefferson. Before the purchase was finalized, the descicion faced domestic opposition as some argued that it was unconstitutional for President Jefferson to aquire the territory. Jefferson agreed that the U.S. Constitution did not contain provisions for acquiring territory, but decided to proceed with the acquisition. The purchase included an agreement to remove France's presence in the territory and protect U.S. trade access to the port of New Orleans and the Mississippi River. Wpears2 (talk) 18:38, 5 February 2015 (UTC)

Approved. A much needed project indeed. Josef Horáček (talk) 17:54, 7 February 2015 (UTC)

Did you forget to make the edit? Josef Horáček (talk) 22:15, 17 February 2015 (UTC)

Nice work. Josef Horáček (talk) 22:19, 23 February 2015 (UTC)

Homework 2/9/2015

The article that I have chosen to improve the resources is Black magic. Wpears2 (talk) 15:39, 9 February 2015 (UTC)

Approved. Josef Horáček (talk) 19:47, 10 February 2015 (UTC)

Homework 2/12/2015

References

"Hex." Columbia Electronic Encyclopedia, 6Th Edition (2013): 1. Literary Reference Center. Web. 11 Feb. 2015.

"Immortality." Funk & Wagnalls New World Encyclopedia (2014): 1p. 1. Funk & Wagnalls New World Encyclopedia. Web. 11 Feb. 2015.

"necromancy". Merriam-Webster's Collegiate Dictionary (11th ed.). Springfield, MA: Merriam-Webster. April 2008.

"Black Mass." Funk & Wagnalls New World Encyclopedia (2014): 1p. 1. Funk & Wagnalls New World Encyclopedia. Web. 11 Feb. 2015.

Wpears2 (talk) 02:03, 12 February 2015 (UTC)

All of your sources are encyclopedias and dictionaries. It's against WP policy to use other tertiary sources for WP articles. You need to find different sources. Josef Horáček (talk) 00:41, 17 February 2015 (UTC)

Homework Corrections

Macmullen, Ramsay, and Eugene Lane. "From Black Magic To Mystical Awe." Christian History 17.1 (1998): 37. History Reference Center. Web. 19 Feb. 2015.

"Voodoo 2.0." Newsweek Global 163.9 (2014): 92-98. Academic Search Complete. Web. 19 Feb. 2015.

Evans-Pritchard. "Sorcery and Native Opinion". Africa: Journal of the International African Institute Vol. 4, No. 1 (Jan., 1931) , pp. 22-55.

Long, Carolyn Morrow. "Perceptions of New Orleans Voodoo: Sin, Fraud, Entertainment, and Religion". Nova Religion: The Journal of Alternative and Emergent Religions, Vol. 6, No. 1 (October 2002), pp. 86-101 — Preceding unsigned comment added by Wpears2 (talk • contribs) 05:30, 20 February 2015 (UTC)

I appreciate your effort to find better sources. You'll notice that another user has reverted your edit and put all the encyclopedia sources back into the article (he or she didn't understand why you deleted them). You should point out to that user that you were the one who added those sources in the first place, and that WP discourages editors from using other encyclopedias as sources. Also say that you added new, better sources. Hopefully the user will understand your choices and allow you to remove the encyclopedia references from the article. Josef Horáček (talk) 03:01, 2 March 2015 (UTC)

Homework 2/13/15

The article I chose was College application because it is missing a lead section. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Wpears2 (talk • contribs) 07:44, 13 February 2015 (UTC)

Homework 2/20/2015

Lead article for college application. A long lead section doesn't seem necessary due to the short length of the entire article. The lead section below would be long enough to cover the existing article.

College Application refers to the competitive process by which individuals apply to gain entry into a College or University. Applications to College generally require basic background information of the applicant such as: family background, grade point average, standardized testing scores, extracurricular activities, and awards received in high school. Most colleges have their own set of requirements for the information that is necessary for a college application. A common requirement on a college application the applicant's standardized testing score and a high school transcript. In the United States, the most widely accepted standardized tests that are used by Universities are the ACT and the SAT. Also, some colleges require that the application include Letters of Recommendation and a personal essay. Wpears2 (talk) 08:43, 20 February 2015 (UTC)

Homework 2/23/2015

The first paragraph in the United States section of the college application should be the beginning of the lead section. Another correction that should occur is the combining of "'Gaming' the college application process" with the United States section. There should also be more countries' application information included in the article. Another thing that needs to be fixed is the source section of the article. Wpears2 (talk) 07:22, 23 February 2015 (UTC)

Homework 2/26/2015

Lead Section Draft for college application

College Application refers to the competitive process by which individuals apply to gain entry into a college or university. Applications to college generally require basic background information of the applicant such as: family background, grade point average, standardized testing scores, extracurricular activities, and awards received in high school. Most colleges have their own set of requirements for the information that is necessary for a college application. A common requirement on a college application the applicant's standardized testing score and a high school transcript. In the United States, the most widely accepted standardized tests that are used by colleges and universities are the ACT and the SAT. Also, some colleges require that the application include Letters of Recommendation and a personal essay. A commonly accepted application used by many universities is the "Common Application" which is an online application that is used by 517 colleges and universities. Wpears2 (talk) 01:40, 27 February 2015 (UTC)

Yes, this article needs all the help you suggested. Your new lead is a good start. Some suggestions: 1. "Application" in the first sentence is lower case. 2. No colon after "such as." Never do that. You can, however, put a comma in front of "such as." 3. Sentence beginning "A common requirement" is missing a verb? 4. Sentence beginning with "In the United States" - delete "that are." 5. Revise the sentence on the Common Application. Something like, "The Common Application is a popular online ... used by over five hundred..." (Don't use an exact number - I'm sure it fluctuates year by year.) Josef Horáček (talk) 03:09, 2 March 2015 (UTC)

Correction to Lead section

College application refers to the competitive process by which individuals apply to gain entry into a college or university. Applications to college generally require basic background information of the applicant, such as family background, grade point average, standardized testing scores, extracurricular activities, and awards received in high school. Most colleges have their own set of requirements for the information that is necessary for a college application. A common requirement on a college application is the applicant's standardized testing score and a high school transcript. In the United States, the most widely accepted standardized tests used by colleges and universities are the ACT and the SAT. Some colleges also require applications to include a Letter of Recommendation and a personal essay. A commonly accepted application used by many universities is the "Common Application" which is an online application that is used by over 500 colleges and universities.Wpears2 (talk) 19:34, 2 March 2015 (UTC)