Another anime episode list. Don't worry, this one's a lot shorter than season 9. -- Goodraise (talk) 20:23, 7 February 2009 (UTC)
Restarted on 00:44, 18 February 2009 (UTC)
Goodraise, in the future, I wouldn't have multiple nominations running, especially when the first still needs some fine-tuning. While the writing in this one is a little better, there are still problems, as evidenced by my copy-edit of the first episode. Dabomb87 (talk) 21:14, 7 February 2009 (UTC)
Alright, I'll refrain from nominating multiple lists in the future. :\ -- Goodraise (talk) 21:34, 7 February 2009 (UTC)
I'm going to refrain from supporting as of yet until a copyeditor or another, more grammatically-minded reviewer appears. Good work though on the list itself. Like the colors :D NOCTURNENOIR( t • c ) 04:47, 18 February 2009 (UTC)
Why are there no references for the theme music? Even though they may be covered by the general reference, I think that an inline citation should be good here.
"A small group of navy ships chases the Straw Hats around."
"To escape them, they sail through an area of wild currents, surrounding an almost uninhabited island."-->To escape them, the Straw Hats sail through an area of wild currents, which surround an almost uninhabited island.
"Only an old man named Zenny lives there with a group of goats."-->The lone inhabitants are an old man named Zenny and his goats.
"Because they are pirates" Who? The old man and the goats, or just the goats?
"It is at the end of the day, as they are about to leave, that Chopper reveals the horrible result of his examination—that the old man will die within three days."
These are just examples, please find someone to look through the whole text. Dabomb87 (talk) 01:51, 20 February 2009 (UTC)
I've copyedited the summaries, so can you take another glance and let me know if there are any other issues? NOCTURNENOIR( t • c ) 05:24, 22 February 2009 (UTC)
Oppose I share the views above about is needing a thorough copyedit.
Watch out for colloquialisms in the episode summaries (e.g. "his place")
Can you use a non ANN source to replace ref 4. I know you have said "Technically, ANN is reliable for the theme songs", but I think we have different ideas of reliable. Anything user edited (for example Wikipedia) is not reliable by our standards.Rambo's Revenge(talk) 14:21, 22 February 2009 (UTC)
Since the episodes themselves source the theme songs, I feel it is largely unnecessary to source them otherwise. I can cite the episodes if you prefer, and I will continue to look for sources. NOCTURNENOIR( t • c ) 18:00, 22 February 2009 (UTC)
Not sure if the episodes would actually cite the title and artist. But I'm not too fussed about this. Rambo's Revenge(talk) 13:27, 23 February 2009 (UTC)
The title and the artist are actually sourced in the credits. Every anime that I've seen and that I can remember has done this. Do US television shows do this as well? I'd expect they would have to for copyright purposes... Anyway, cited. NOCTURNENOIR( t • c ) 21:16, 23 February 2009 (UTC)
"It was then licensed and heavily edited for a dubbed release in English by 4Kids Entertainment." However ref 3 cites none of this. It might possibly cite the sentence following that the "re-adaptation of the series has yet to reach the fifth season" but I'm not sure. So I am concerend with the sentence about airing on Fox Television Network (you should possibly mention as part of the FoxBox block) and that it aired "omitting seven of the season's thirteen episodes".Rambo's Revenge(talk) 13:27, 23 February 2009 (UTC)
There technically isn't anything citing that, as ref 3 cites the dates it was aired, so I've added sources. NOCTURNENOIR( t • c ) 21:16, 23 February 2009 (UTC)
Taking a random sample of two episode summaries:
Ep 125, 99
"snags" to colloquial
"As the bandits aim the finishing blow, Zoro returns and takes over." | "finishing blow" does that mean killing? aimed at who?, takes over what?
Ep 142, 103
"the Henzo he once knew" -> in the past Henzo
"slingshots" | I don't understand
You need the context of the show. As Luffy can act like rubber, he stretches himself out and "slingshots" himself to other locations. It's impossible to explain without context and reading Luffy's article should inform any reader of what "slingshots" is referring to. NOCTURNENOIR( t • c ) 21:57, 23 February 2009 (UTC)
"The town's large tower falls onto the water" -> into the water
Out of interest are you familiar with the One Piece? If you are, it would be worth getting someone who isn't to take a look. Then they can give you an idea of what parts are missing context or are unclear. I realise you have done copyediting yourself but sometimes a fresh pair of eyes is better. Rambo's Revenge(talk) 21:44, 23 February 2009 (UTC)
Fixed with a single note. I am familiar, but not well-acquainted with the series. As such, there are plot holes I wish to fill but cannot, as I neither know the episodes very well nor have them on hand to write summaries from. NOCTURNENOIR( t • c ) 21:57, 23 February 2009 (UTC)
I may not have time for more than a handful of edits per day at the moment, but I could certainly fill those holes, if you would name them. I probably won't even have to look at the episodes to do it. -- Goodraise (talk) 23:42, 23 February 2009 (UTC)
Alright, some comments then.
Nami's mapmaking can be expanded in ep132.
I'm not sure how. She really is only drawing maps. Though I could expand on what the rest of the crew is doing... -- Goodraise (talk) 04:15, 24 February 2009 (UTC)
Epi134 - "Usopp then takes matters into his own hands and fulfills her parents' dreams." needs to be more specific. I could guess at what happened, but I don't want to put false information.
Epi135 - "Later that day, a group of bandits, led by a man with a much higher bounty, plunders the village." -> Is the original meaning still present after I copyedited this line? I was unsure of my fix here.
Yes, it is still correct. But -- not wanting to mess with your copyedit -- this sentence seems wrong: "As the bandits prepare to kill the pair, Zoro returns saves Johnny and Yosaku." -- Should it be "returns to save" or "returns and saves"? -- Goodraise (talk) 04:15, 24 February 2009 (UTC)
"Johnny and Yosaku become his followers. " -> Quick, if irrelevant, question: Is it just me, or do we never see these characters again? What becomes of them?
They travel with the Straw Hats during the Baratie and Arlong arcs. -- Goodraise (talk) 04:15, 24 February 2009 (UTC)
Epi136 - "do his work in his place." -> What work? More specifics needed.
Epi137 - "Chopper's diagnosed three days have long passed, which Zoro realizes, much to his chagrin." is definitely unclear. What does Zoro's reaction have to do with anything?
Well. The episode is very comedy heavy and the plot doesn't really make sense. The point is as follows: They work like mad, while Zenny's condition is constantly improving. Zoro gets suspicious, while the rest of the crew try to make the man they think is dying feel better. But by the time he convinces the others of that and they decide to leave, Nami already lost ownership of their ship, thus stranding them. (Don't even get me started on the random party they're having afterwards...) -- I tried to make that more clear, but the summary will never make perfect sense, because the episode itself does not. -- Goodraise (talk) 04:15, 24 February 2009 (UTC)
Epi139 - "Sanji encounters a tax collector who wears an electric battle suit." <-- Relevance of the electric battle suit?
The suit is not relevant outside of their fight (rewrote to make more clear that they have a violent "encounter"), but the whole scene revolves around it. So I think, mentioning it is giving it due weight. -- Goodraise (talk) 04:15, 24 February 2009 (UTC)
Epi140-143 - I was incredibly unclear as to who the Pumpkin Pirate were, and why they were referred to as "children" when they were children several years prior. If Hanzo has grown, why haven't the children?
The Rainbow Mist is some sort of alternate dimension/time travel phenomenon, but it isn't sufficiently explained in the series to write about it like one probaly could if it were an episode of Star Trek (for example: I can't make a quality statement like, "inside the mist, time flows slower," because that would be original research). Facts are: Fifty years into Henzo's past, his friends, the Pumpkin Pirates, entered that mist. For them, inside that mist, much less time has gone by (more than a few days but less than years). And during the last episode it is shown, that they left the mist some decades ago. That is how they can then suddenly show up as marines and arrest Whetton and his gang. -- I did a small change. I hope that makes it clear enough. If not, let me know. -- Goodraise (talk) 04:15, 24 February 2009 (UTC)
Epi143 - "There, Luffy fights Whetton and destroys Whetton's suit." <-- Similar to epi139, if the suit has relevance, can you make it more clear?
Same as above, the suit is completely unimportant to the overall plot. It's an interchangable weapon (like Don Krieg's "Great Battle Spear", Arlong's saw-toothed sword, or Sir Crocodile's poisonous hook, ...), that is the focus of attention during the fight and the destruction of which marks a changing point but is otherwise neglect-able. Mentioning it is merely giving the length of the scene due weight. -- Goodraise (talk) 04:15, 24 February 2009 (UTC)
That's all I can think of right now, but there may be more. NOCTURNENOIR( t • c ) 01:12, 24 February 2009 (UTC)
Alrighty then. A couple as quick remarks because I'm far too lazy to respond individually to your points (if you'll forgive me). As long as there is a reason for not expanding on some of the sections I marked, we should be fine. I keep forgetting to suspend disbelief when it comes to anime, but that's beside the point. I think your fixes should do the trick, and hopefully Rambo's Revenge and Dabomb will agree with me when they review this again. Thanks for your hard work! NOCTURNENOIR( t • c ) 04:24, 24 February 2009 (UTC)