Wikipedia:Peer review/Abhinavagupta/archive1

Abhinavagupta

This article has undergone a large expansion recently. Previously, it was stagnating at stub-level. Also please consider the importance of having good biography of Abhinavagupta, one of the most important philosophical thinkers, mystics, and aestheticians of the Indian culture. Visarga (talk) 15:09, 3 January 2008 (UTC)

Peer review by --Redtigerxyz

* Add infobox

• remove list of works. Try to put in prose form
• Add links like Kalidasa, Bhairava etc.
• Use common English Shiva instead of IAST Śiva for consistency
• Need a date for Madhurāja Yogin to prove pic is PD; else is fair use
• Date for commentator Jayaratha; Raniero Gnoli
• Why does God link to Shiva???? defies NPOV as implies (the only) God is Shiva.
• Again objective principles linking to The 36 tattvas is not so WP:OBVIOUS.
• Avoid using too many Sanskrit words like tīvra - unfamiliar to an English audience. tremendous - the literal translation is enough. At the traditon of śaktipāta can not be summed up in the literal translation of Divine Grace.

* What is Śrīpūrvaśāstra - ref for "we learn that Abhinava was in possession of all the six qualities required for the recipients of the tremendous(tīvra) level of Divine Grace(śaktipāta), as described in the sacred texts"

• Pur ref after punctuation marks as per WP policy.
• "Besides his academical education[7] and intuitional understanding of one's Self(jñāna), he equally makes strides into devotion(bhakti) and action(kriyā)[8] - by action understanding any exterior ritual or yogic technique." - meaning less obvious
• Use "Abhinavagupta" everywhere rather than just "Abhinava" for consistency
• "While such descriptions border the magical, all those who are informed about Abhinavagupta's life and works agree, at least, that he was a genius." - not so encyclopedic. a POV
• "as a consequence of loosing his mother, of whom he was reportedly very attached" needs ref
• ref for Ambā (name, her tale). If "name not known precisely", where did Ambā come from?????
• "Yogeśvaridatta whose qualities were on par with his name" means?????
• "Even today we would need a large group of sanskritologs and experts on Indian philosophy, working over many decades, to re-access Abhinavagupta's work, and unfortunately we are still in the early stages of that." POV. not so encyclopedic. - lot more to do. --Redtigerxyz (talk) 06:55, 4 January 2008 (UTC)

Short footnote citations with full references (WP:REF) can be used, with section "Notes" and "References" seperated like FA Ganesha for e.g --Redtigerxyz (talk) 09:08, 5 January 2008 (UTC)

Peer Review suggestions by TheRingess

1. There are a number of words that are wikilinked multiple times throughout the article. The MOS is to link the first time a term is used and not thereafter. (e.g Kashmir Shaivism, kaula, guru, tantraloka)
2. Avoid weasel phrases like "It is reported..." (in the "A genius of his time" section). If we know who reports that then say "So and So reports that..." and include a citation. If we don't know, then remove the sentence.
3. Avoid phrases that make the article sound like a lecture. (e.g. From Jayaratha, we learn that... can be simply changed to Jayaratha states that...).

TheRingess (talk) 15:09, 5 January 2008 (UTC)